All comics by NotJohn

Profile

 

by NotJohn
9-26-01
(And I thought this would be easy)
OK - So two robots walk into a bar
Heard it
A priest, a rabbi, and a ....
Heard it!
I'm bigger than you are.
Bite me.

 

by NotJohn
9-26-01
I always thought it would be really cool if people had fur.
It would be good for the shampoo industry.
Your mother used to drag you up the stairs by your ankles, didn't she.

 

by NotJohn
9-26-01
A drunk, an acid head, and a pothead arrive at a gated city at night, after the gates are locked. They see a sign saying "This gate will be locked from dusk to dawn"
Oh god, not another three part joke!
The drunk says "let's bust the gate down!" The acid head says "Let's just float through the keyhole"
Kill Me Now!!
The pot head says "I'm gonna crash here until morning"
... Too Late ...

 

by NotJohn
9-26-01
Come on honey! Show grammaw and grandpa your cute little dance!
You're just not into this, are you ...

 

by NotJohn
9-26-01
So can I borrow your car or what?
Jeeze - this happens to me all the time ...
Is this a bad time?

 

by NotJohn
9-26-01
After that last comic, I must say a prayer for NotJohn
After that last comic, I must say a prayer for NotJohn
After that last comic, I must say a prayer for NotJohn

 

by NotJohn
9-26-01
After that last comic, I must say a prayer for NotJohn!
Are you listening, God?
I guess I'll talk to you after daddy builds a skylight.

 

by NotJohn
9-26-01
I want to walk "Penny", the dog, OK Mom?
Penny's in heat, darling - you shouln't take her for a walk now
Daddy, I want to walk "Penny", the dog. Mommy says I can't.
No problem, honey! Just let me swab her genitals with gasoline first!
Welcome back, honey - but where's "Penny", the dog?
Well, about half way around the block "Penny" ran out of gas, so a big dog is pushing her home.

 

by NotJohn
9-27-01
Jesus! Whazzzup??
Hangin' on the cross ... dyin' for your sins ...
True, True.

 

by NotJohn
9-27-01
Pull my finger!
Why is it nobody falls for this gag anymore?

 

by NotJohn
9-27-01
Submitted for your approval ... two asian girls in a white room, a room we like to call - the Twilight Zone!
Did you say something?
No, I thought that was you!
Creepy! This is like that old TV show where the people turned out to be toys in a Christmas donation box
Shut UP! Maybe one of our readers hasn't seen that one yet

 

by NotJohn
9-28-01
Am I in the right place for the hentai auditions?
Was it something I said?

 

by NotJohn
9-28-01
Sometimes when people say "Have a Nice Day" to me ...
I have a lousy day - Just to Spite them
If you just sit here on this bench all day, where do you get the money for the crack?

 

by NotJohn
9-29-01
You'll have to imagine the tile background
Oh, I see you must be in love with a girl named "Wendy" too ...
...?!...

 

by NotJohn
9-29-01
He said he's leaving ....
Leaving!
... On that midnight train to Georgia ...
Woo - Hoo!
... Said he's goin' back to find ...
Goin' Back To Find!

 

by NotJohn
9-29-01
Look at me ...
I'm as helpless ....
... As a kitten up a tree ...

 

by NotJohn
9-29-01
Regrets, I've had a few - But then again, too few to mention -I did what I had to do and saw it through without exemption
I planned each charted course, each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this - I did it my way...

 

by NotJohn
9-30-01
Do ya think I'm sexy ...
... And you want my body
... Come on girl let me know
Booo!! Get off the stage!

 

by NotJohn
9-30-01
...?...
...?...
(music cue): Tocotta and Fugue in G
Told you!
Oh, Right - It's 'Phantom' this week, 'Godspell' next week

 

by NotJohn
9-30-01
*cough* is this on?
Oh god, here he goes again...
Hi, I'm NotJohn, and I'd like to apologize for starting an unauthorized contest ...
... just shut up and go home ... shut up and go home!
... But as long as I'm here ... Jesus and Moses were out playing golf one day ...
... I really need a new job...

 

by NotJohn
10-01-01
Goody-goody two-shoes! Goody-goody two-shoes!
Good ... Bad ... I'm the one with the lightning bolts.

 

by NotJohn
10-27-01
. . . peter . . .
. . . peter . . .
Yes, My Lord ...
I Can See Your House From Here . . .

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