(For the purpose of this, you're gonna have to pretend that there aren't really computers on their desks there...)
Well, I thought today we could have a bit of a class discussion. Why don't we talk about euthanasia? What are your thoughts?
Christ! That is uncanny! This teacher dude sounds EXACTLY like that guy that used to present Masterchef!
My god.. you're not wrong there. Maybe it is him. But there's only one way to proove it. You're gonna have to stick blue-tac over your nipples, then leap up on the table and sing the 2nd verse from...
...the Phantom of the Opera in reverse, word by word, whilst simultaneously caressing my left earlobe and playing with the cartialige in my knees.
What? No, you demented cocksucking cretinous foul excuse for a human being. We're in the middle of class anyway.
Oh well. Fantasies generally don't come to life by chance, you can't blame a guy for trying.
Credit to 40ozFreak for providing inspiration for this one...
Sorry, I'm not able to take your call right now, please leave your message after the tone.
Oh right ok... Hi Sarah, it's Ben. I just really wanted to tell you something.... I think I'm in love with you, and...
*BOOOOP*
...what the... damnit, erm..
Thank you for leaving your message, I'll try and get back to you as soon as possible.
Oh fine, you're playing it like that are you? I see. Well just fuck off then. I'll try Louise's number, see if she's up for a shag instead. How'd you like that, Sarah? Bitch.
Geezer 1's plane is shot down. Geezer 2 spots an oppurtunity.
So, what with you being dead and all after that plane.. crash.. thing, how abouts I steal your missus and get her pregnant and stuff? She is mighty fine and hell, you won't be needing her anymore.
**I'm "dead" therefore I can't answer him.**
**Shags woman who is currently off screen.**
Hey dude what the hell are you doing? Quit boning my woman! Son of a...
**NEEEEEEEEEEYOOWWW BANGBANGBANGBANG**
Oh shit sorry dude, I could've sworn you were dead. Hey, what say we just fight off the entire japanese army all by ourselves?
I fucking hate you, man. But that does sound a fine plan, if maybe a little ambitious. Oh, and if you die, I am so taking my woman back. And your kid. So there.