All comics by TheGestapo

 

by TheGestapo
7-15-04
I'm going to do it this time.
Go ahead.
I swear to god I'm going to do it. Don't try to stop me.
I believe you. I'm not doubting you.
I owe you man, I was so close to ending my life right there. Thanks man.
....Attention whore.

 

by TheGestapo
7-16-04
HAHA I so owned you man. How could you not see me? I was right under the train.
Shut the fuck up Dan, I don't play this game every single day all day like you.
Maybe you should because you fucking suck. I'm owning you with a bolt-action rifle. That is sad.
What's sad is that you think because you "own" at a video game, you're going to excell in life.
Dan commited suicide later that day.
...."Murdoc has quit"

 

by TheGestapo
7-16-04
Heh heh. Dan, click the link I just sent you.
No, because it clearly says "Tubgirl.jpg"
It's not Tubgirl, I swear to god. I don't know why it says that. Just click it dude.
Dude, Ben... Come on. I know it's tubgirl.
Ok, at least connect...Darthbenben wants to directly connect. Darthbenben is now directly connected.
Ok...Wait...Oh you god damn turd tapping faggot. Direct Connection closed.

 

by TheGestapo
7-16-04
Die you fucking krauts! BAM BAM BAM BAM
NEIN! Ze enkle flanken ousen! FARFEN NOOGEN!
Covering FIRE!!-YES MOM I WANT MCDONALDS DAMN IT!
Ok get your shoes on and we'll go.
Ehhhh.....I'm not hungry anymore.

 

by TheGestapo
7-16-04
Dude! DAN! You'll never believe this!
What?
I, Ben Rand, have an asian girl in my room.
Nice!
Heh heh, hey baby. What's your IP?
I wish daddy was still alive.

 

by TheGestapo
7-17-04
So, we're going to meet for the first time today, are you excited?
I'm so nervous. God, I know as soon as you touch me I'm going to get a massive hardon.
tee-hee, you're so cute.
Nah. Well, see you at the mall baby.
OH MY FUCKING GOD, YOU ARE NOT 5'9 TALL! YOU'RE 5'9 THE OTHER YOU WAY FAT BITCH!
...

 

by TheGestapo
7-17-04
So, we're going to meet for the first time today, are you excited?
I'm so nervous. God, I know as soon as you touch me I'm going to get a massive hardon.
tee-hee, you're so cute.
Nah. Well, see you at the mall baby.
The mall.
OH MY FUCKING GOD, YOU ARE NOT 5'9 TALL! YOU'RE 5'9 THE OTHER WAY YOU FAT BITCH!
...

 

by TheGestapo
7-18-04
Um...What's with the ears?
I'm a cyoot wittle kitty kat ^.^ teehee
Oh my fucking god. You're one of those furry faggots aren't you?
But I'm more kawaii than most furries TEE HEE ^.^ KEKEKEKEKEKE
What the fuck has this world come to?
Don't fursecute! TEE HEE...MURDER ALL HYOOMANS!...^.^ kekeke

 

by TheGestapo
7-29-04
Leave my girl alone! When you mess with her, you mess with me! You don't want to fuck with me!
Um, right. So are you going to come to my house and kick my ass?
No, I have your computer's IP and I'm going to erase everything on your computer!!11one
Uh huh, How tough and manly of you.
True Story.
That's it, have fun on your last night with your computer!
Jesus fuck, and I thought I was nerdy.

 

by TheGestapo
8-11-04
Dude. This Friday, heh we are so totally going to l4nz0rz.
Egh. I can't wait. We're going to have so much fun dude.
Omg I know! Playing Doom3 together, all day, night, and day. I'll never leave my room.
Umm. In order to have a LAN..You have to be in the same room..
That's crazy talk. I...I have to physically move? Ehhhhh I'm suddenly busy on Friday, can't make it.
...

 

by TheGestapo
8-11-04
Holy shit. Are you, Ben Rand, playing a console game?
Egh. Yes, only because Spiderman 2 sucks on the computer.
What's wrong with the computer version?
Well one button does like 32409234kagillion things.
Dude, whoa. Your right arm is bigger than the other.
Shut up.

 

by TheGestapo
8-19-04
First day of school, Jeanne finds Dan.
HI DAN!
Fuck off.
Second day.
HI DAN!
Don't fucking talk to me.
Third day.
HI DAN!
I swear to god I'm going to grab what thinning hair you have left and pound your face into the curb, Jeanne.

 

by TheGestapo
10-16-04
We were supposed to see Shaun of The Dead together, you fucking asshole! I hope you die!
Fuck you!
I just realized how nerdy it was to fight over Shaun of The Dead, so yeah, we're friends again.
Ok.

 

by TheGestapo
2-18-05
Dude, I'm never going to watch Ichi The Killer again.
Why? It's just one of those feel good gangster movies with the occasional gore.
Feel good?! FEEL GOOD?! A girl getting her nipples sliced off is not fucking feel good.
But you have to admit, it was funny at times.
Yeah, if you find a guy who jerks off after slicing people's faces off funny.
*fapfapfapfapfapfap*

 

by TheGestapo
2-18-05
Alright, I'll get the sounds done tonight, but first I'm going to whack off.
Ok, just make sure you don't somehow get the sound of you fapping mixed in with the weapon sounds.
The Next Day: Testing in Call of Duty.
Ok, well everything sounds pretty good.
Wait....Fire that luger again.
*BANG!*
Yup, I knew I heard the distinct sound of a 16 year old male masturbating.

 

by TheGestapo
2-22-05
I started talking to an old gamer friend a while back.
Cool.
He's like 34 though. Is it weird to be like best friends with a 34 year old?
I used to talk to a 32 year old dude, but all he did was talk about fucking me in the ass while calling me a dirty little boy.
....
Yeah I don't talk to him anymore.

 

by TheGestapo
2-22-05
Dude, I have this this totally hot girlfriend who so wants my nuts.
Sweet!
Yeah, we're going to fuck soon.
SWEET!
I met her on the internet, and I have to travel across the country to meet her, and she's probably a 30 year old male who wants to ravage my ass hardcore.
SWEET!

 

by TheGestapo
2-22-05
AWWW! TEEHEHEHEHE! IT'S A CYOOT WITTLE KITTY CAT! WIF EARS JUST WIKE ME! KEKEKEKE
Oh fucking christ no.
KEKEKE!!!!!111 I'm going to show you to NightWolfie!
Oh god. They're going to fuck me.
Come back wittle kitty witty! OH NOES MY OWN TOTEM DOESN'T ACCEPT ME I MUST KILL MYSELF!!!!
You'll just raise the world's average IQ substantially by doing so.

 

by TheGestapo
7-03-06
What is wrong with this picture?
Well, if he's going to rape me, the joke is on him. I have Super AIDS!
GET THE FUCK OUTA MY COUNTRY, MUD CREATURE!

 

by TheGestapo
7-03-06
The last comic was written by pure mistake. We apologize for the outright racism that was displayed in the previous strip.
The writer does not think of African Americans as mud creatures, or anything of the sort.
Now that this is all cleared up, I'mma go rape me some bitches, nuts in da ass dick in da pussy! WORD UP!

 

by TheGestapo
7-03-06
Yes, herro, welcome to China Wok, how a may I a help a you?
Uh yeah, could I get an order of General Tso's Chicken?
Need more! Fif-teen dolla minimum!
What the fuck? That's only for delivery, I'm eating here!
Then you can go to Eye-Tie buffet you cracker ass bitch!
What in the ever-lasting titty shit just happened?

 

by TheGestapo
7-03-06
Yeah, Hi, how much for the buffet?
With drink? That is a 7.52.
But, the sign says 4.99.
Uhhh, nope. That's uh, without drink..yeahhh.
I tried...
So a drink is almost like, 3 bucks?! How do you justify this?!
Uhh, I don't speak a english. Come a back later.

Showing page 1.