Kids Say the Darnedest Things by TinCanMan8-03-01 Mommy told me if I studied harder I would get better marks I told Mommy if she put out a little more, daddy wouldn't come home smelling like a distillery every night.
The Meaning of Life by TinCanMan8-03-01 Xrsgy zczxc xzcn Murty grgl xcge. We are experiencing technical difficulties. Please stay tuned.
Public Service Announcement by TinCanMan8-03-01 I lost $2000 at the horse track the other night. If you find it, please let me know.
After-School Special by TinCanMan8-03-01 Hey kids! Alcohol should be used in moderation. I'm drunk right now.
The Iron Chef by TinCanMan8-03-01 Yesterday my cat ran away. Now I've got all this cat food to get rid of. Who wants to come over for dinner?
Vice Squad by TinCanMan8-03-01 I used to smoke, drink, gamble and consort with women of ill-repute. But I managed to turn myself around around and I took up reading. Now I'm Hooked on Phonics©
Will the Fun Ever End by TinCanMan8-03-01 I just saw my neighbor running down the street naked with her hair on fire and raw pork chops taped to her ankles. It must be Friday.
It's the Thought That Counts by TinCanMan8-03-01 My parents got me a cool watch for Christmas. It had all these buttons and handy functions. I got fifteen bucks for it at the pawnshop.
Science Stands Still by TinCanMan8-03-01 My teacher gave me an 'F' on my science project. I guess she didn't think putting sugar in her gas tank was very scientific.
Young Entrepreneurs by TinCanMan8-03-01 My friend lost a tooth the other day. He put it under his pillow and got 15 cents from the Tooth Fairy. We knocked the rest of 'em out with a hammer today.
Shoddy Workmanship by TinCanMan8-03-01 I got a new bike for my birthday. I threw it off the roof and it doesn't work no more. They sure don't make things like they used to.
Union-Made by TinCanMan8-03-01 What? My collective bargaining agreement allows for one fifteen minute break for every four hours I work.
Get a Haircut and Get a Real Job by TinCanMan8-03-01 I thought things weren't going very well in my life. Then I found Jesus. He was begging for change on the street corner.
Food for Thought by TinCanMan8-03-01 I got sent to the principal's office for eating in class. He told me never to bring my barbecue to school again.
School Daze by TinCanMan8-07-01 My teacher told me I can't bring props in for show n' tell no more. I guess I better return this corpse to the cemetary.
Beware the Red Robot by TinCanMan8-10-01 I went to the arcade with my friends yesterday. PREPARE YOURSELF FOR YOUR DOOM MEATLING Then we got mugged on the way home.
We aim to please. by TinCanMan8-10-01 My neighbour's dog used to always crap on my driveway. I put a stop to it though. Course, with all the bullet holes, he's now bleeding on my driveway.