All comics by alliterator

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by alliterator
9-29-03
This is my first comic strip. What should I say?
I don't know. Think of something funny.
I don't know anything funny. I'm a robot.
Well, don't look at me! I'm just the sidekick!
Um... I think cheese is funny.
Oh dear god. Thank Asimov this is just three panels.

 

by alliterator
9-29-03
What should I do for my second strip?
How the !@#$% should I know?! I'm just a goddamn sidekick!
The second strip has to be funnier than the first, but I can't think of anything funny, because I'm a robot.
Oh for Heinlein's sake. I'm so tired of this crap. I'm leaving.
Was it something I said?

 

by alliterator
9-29-03
Hello, Miss...
Neck. Redda Neck.
I'm looking for a new sidekick, so I'm wondering if you have any special talents.
Well, I can drink enough beer to kill a small horse.
Meanwhile, in the mountains...
Ah, sweet, fresh air!

 

by alliterator
9-29-03
The search continues...
Special powers?
I can hold things together and you can twist me into weird shapes when you're bored!
...and continues...
Reason for leaving past job?
Uh... work related difficulties.
...and continues...
*sigh*
Look at me! Look at me! I'm like a tiny you! Whee!

 

by alliterator
9-29-03
What's your name?
I am Bjouyakorgl from the Eighth Ring of Xarglusbig
Must be a nice place to live.
Yes. It has a great view of the Black Hole of Yenpreth
Can I ask your reasing for leaving such a beautiful, er, planet?
I blew it up.

 

by alliterator
9-29-03
Yo, my bro, you sho' got the good digs and threads in this house, man.
Excuse me, but what's your name?
Mine's Hipcat McCool. And what's yours?
Uh... I don't think I have one.
Thas cool.

 

by alliterator
9-29-03
I don't have a name? I'm the star of my own comic strip and I don't even have a name?
Well, sure you have a name, you just haven't found it yet.
Really? So, Hipcat, what do you think my name is?
Hmm.... this is a tough question. I'd give you a really, really hip name... like Melvin.
Melvin?!

 

by alliterator
9-29-03
I don't think I can use the name Melvin.
Why not?
Well, I'd probably get sued by Douglas Adams's lawyers.
Meanwhile...
I swear, I didn't have more than a two or three drinks... or maybe seven. But that's all!

 

by alliterator
9-30-03
In court...
Oh, thank Asimov!
Listen, I talked to the judge and he's sympathetic with you. He says you can work your debt off with community service.
What do I have to do? I'll do anything.
Well, he thinks the reason you went bad was that you weren't a sidekick anymore. So, he's going to pair you up with somebody.
Meanwhile...
No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.
Harold? Arnold? Peter? Richard? Irene? Jimmy? George? William? Jake?

 

by alliterator
9-30-03
Gee, I wonder who my new partner will be?
The judge wouldn't reveal who it was, but said it was a robot, like me.
I hope it's a girlbot!

 

by alliterator
9-30-03
You! You're my new partner! I've can't believe this!
Of course! Who do they partner me up with? The 'bot who got me drinking in the first place!
Well, aren't you going to say anything?
Can we go back to the green background? I like the green background.

 

by alliterator
9-30-03
Who are you?
I'm Hipcat McCool, the new sidekick!
Well, sorry to say this to you, but unfortunately I am the new sidekick.
Thas cool. Now you can help me find out what that 'bot dude's name is. I was think Melvin, but...
Name? No, no, no. We're robots, so he has to have a name like TY-87 or the Urinator.
Are you sure it's even a he?

 

by alliterator
11-06-03
Are you a female T. Rex?
As a matter of fact, I am. Why do you ask?
'Cause I'm horny.

 

by alliterator
11-06-03

 

by alliterator
11-06-03
I am Dr. Stephen Strange, Master of the Mystical Arts.
Where am I?
You are in the Astral Plane, where dreams are reality.
Oh...
Well then, where are all the Playboy bunnies?

 

by alliterator
11-06-03
This is Fox News, with the latest reports on the war on terrorism, the war in Iraq, the several serial killers loose, and all the other horrifying things you might have heard.
And later, I'll be reporting about how almost everything in your household can be a lethal weapon and can KILL AND MAIM YOUR CHILD.
But first, cute animals that do tricks.
Aw, will you look at that puppy?
Sure Signs the Apocalypse is Near #47: Blinding Terror and Despair is Countered by Cute Animals Doing Tricks.
Aw, that kitty has a cowboy hat on! How cute is that?

 

by alliterator
12-25-03
You can escape us, for we are the skeletal zombie pirates of the Plack Bearl!
You forgot one thing, mate...
That you're Captain Spack Jarrow? Yeah, actually, I already knew that.
Hey, you messed up my dialogue! What's the big deal?
We're tired of you always escaping or beating us. From now on we're going to tape your mouth shut so you won't be able to utter one piece of dialogue.
What? Not my sexy dialogue! How will people know it's me then?

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