All comics by bltsandwich17

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by bltsandwich17
8-30-05
AHHHHH! It's a bug!
yummm! food!
I got some sweet bug spray ready for you.
Bug spray? uh!oh!
That's right. Leave!
I'm out of here!

 

by bltsandwich17
8-30-05
Attention! Our doors will be opening soon.
20 minutes later!
Due to a slight problem. You must wait awhile longer.
Angry shouts came from the crowd as they marched forwards.

 

by bltsandwich17
8-31-05
Heehee! I got his cookies.
Woah! Bring me back me cookies!
Your cookies? I don't have your cookies.
Me may not have me eyes, but me knows you got me cookies.
Hmmm! I better get out of here.
Me wants me cookies!

 

by bltsandwich17
8-31-05
Damn! That girl is hot!
Yo. Back off she's mine. I saw her first.
She's mine!.....No, she's mine!....Mine!
Now now boys. There is plenty of me for you both.

 

by bltsandwich17
8-31-05
Give me your lunch money now, Kid!
I can't. I don't have any.
10 minutes later.
*sigh* Damn bullies. Somebody help me.
20 minutes later.
I'll help ya. By sending you to hell. MWAHAHAHA.
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!

 

by bltsandwich17
8-31-05
Stupid kangeroo. You can't shoot me. You are patheric.
Ha. That's what he thinks
Come on give me your best shot, stupid kangeroo.
You asked for it you dumb yank.
Note to self: Bring weapon in the future.
Dumb yank. Don't mess with an aussie.

 

by bltsandwich17
9-01-05
hmmm...did i turn off my electrical vibrator?...I hope so.
10 minutes later.
I hope that dog of mine doesn't chew on any more outlets.
1 hour later.
I should have checked that damn vibrator.

 

by bltsandwich17
9-02-05
Will you ever love me?
Maybe.
When will that be?
When squirrels kill.
5 years later.
MWAHAHAHAHAHA
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH..killer squirrels

 

by bltsandwich17
9-02-05
to undo a glitch, turn this bug into a bitch!
Wow! I guessed it work though not how i intended.

 

by bltsandwich17
9-03-05
So, what do you do for a living?
Oh, nothing much. I am just a writer.
Really?
Yeah, I am working on something now.
10 years later.
Damn, if only I didn't decide to be a writer, I could still have my arms.

 

by bltsandwich17
9-06-05
Why are you called Blt sandwich? Do you like Blt sandwiches alot?
No...I hate them.
Ten minutes later.
Then why is your name Bltsandwich?

 

by bltsandwich17
9-06-05
Can I pet your monkey?
My monkey?...Are you sure?
Yes.
Okay...wait here.
A short while later......

 

by bltsandwich17
9-11-05
Dearest Tom,........... I must leave you now. You just aren't fulfilling my needs.....
.....I have to use my 10 inch dildo everyday because your 4 inch pecker is just too small and you can't work it.......Yours truly, Jane.
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Why must she hurt me so. My pecker isn't that small.

 

by bltsandwich17
9-11-05
Penguins are evil!....very, very evil!
10 minutes later...
WAAAAAAAAAAAA.....Got to get out of here.
What did I do?

 

by bltsandwich17
9-11-05
Did you hear about Jane?
No..What happen?
She was caught having sex with Mac in the supply room.
Really?....That is interesting.
2 hours later....
Hey there, Jane. Wanna hit the supply room with me? ;)

 

by bltsandwich17
9-13-05
Why do you have a magnifying glass?
So, I can find something.
FInd what?
Your small pecker.
Nope, still don't see it.

 

by bltsandwich17
9-14-05
Go help yourself to Uncle Fred and Johnnie Ritter.
Now, don't get lemon wiv me.
Well, I just bread and cheese on your Uncle Fred and Johnnie Ritter.
That just made me wallace and grommit.
How about giving me some liberty!
Okay!

 

by bltsandwich17
9-14-05
heehee, I will take over the planet. MWAHAHAHA!
Countdown begin. 10....9....8.....7....6..5...4...3....2......1... BLAST OFF!!!!
Uhoh....maybe I shouldn't have stood so close.

 

by bltsandwich17
9-15-05
*TWEET TWEET*
yummy.lunch!
*TWEET TWEET*
yummy. tastes like fish!

 

by bltsandwich17
9-15-05
this little piggy went to jail.
this little piggy went to hell.
this little pig turned into a rabbit.

 

by bltsandwich17
9-16-05
AAAAAAAHHHHH! there's half a reindeer in my room.
MUMMY MUMMY MUMMY HELP!
I am getting my ass out of here. MUMMMMY!

 

by bltsandwich17
9-16-05
I am pig!
hmm, pig..i will eat the pig!
if you try to eat me, you will go up in flames.
A few minutes later.
AHHHHHHH
I told you so!

 

by bltsandwich17
9-16-05
Hey baby, want to try to take over the planet again?
No way. Last time i tried, i got hurt....luckily, you all could revive me.
Baby, try to take over and we can reproduce.
alright.
10 minutes later.
damn you. dumb wench!

 

by bltsandwich17
9-17-05
Hunny, i missed my period.
If you missed your period, than just get an exclamation point.geez!
No, my period,period.
Huh?
You dumbass. I might be pregnant.
Oh...WAAAAAAAA.

 

by bltsandwich17
9-18-05
Did you see the new bull the farmer got?
Yeah. He is really big.
I know. Hell, I am giving him as many of my cows he wants.
Fuck that.I dont care if he has my cows or not....I just want him to know I'm a bull.

 

by bltsandwich17
9-18-05
MOOOO MWAHAHAHA MOOOO
MOOO HAHAHAHAHAHAHMOOOOOO
What the fuck is wrong with you?
MOOOOO HAHAHAHAHA...MEEEEE has mad cow disease.
=/

 

by bltsandwich17
9-19-05
Do you know why i pulled you over?
No officer. why?
Back there at that stop sign. A bird flew from your window to mine. I must ticket you for flipping me the bird.
=/

 

by bltsandwich17
9-20-05
mmm nuts.
What are you looking at?...Stop looking at me like that.
mmm nuts.
ahhhh
mmm nuts.

 

Well, I have some bad news. It seems you have cancer and Alzheimer's
Well, at least I don't have cancer.
by bltsandwich17, 9-21-05

 

by bltsandwich17
9-23-05
Secret service officials were seen tossing sticks onto a path.....
...This lead to another biking accident for George Bush.
Woot..the best news ever.

 

by bltsandwich17
9-24-05
Last night, I saw a girl tied up on the railroad tracks.
Yeah?..So, what did you do?
Well, being a good person, I untied her, took her back to my place and fucked her.
Really? Well, was she hot?
I don't know. Couldn't find the head.
:O

 

by bltsandwich17
9-24-05
Guess what.
What?
I am naked.
Oh?
Yeah, under my clothes.
:O

 

by bltsandwich17
9-25-05
How did you get away from the guy chasing us?
Well, when he kicked the trashcan I was hiding in, I just meowed like a cat.
WAAAA. That didn't work for me.
Why? What did you do?
When he kicked the potato sack I was in, I just hollered POTATO POTATO.

 

by bltsandwich17
10-11-05
Hello?
Hello, if you complete this short survey, you will be eligble for a chance to win a new car. Are you ready?
Hello? Are you ready?.......Hello?
Hello, you are now able to have a chance to win a trip to Disneyland. Just answer these short questions. Are you ready?
*dial tone*

 

by bltsandwich17
10-11-05
Hello?
Would you be interested in buying long distance? If you do than you will be eligble for a chance to win five hundred thousand dollars.
No I don't think so.
It is real cheap and very useful. Just a one time deal and I will throw in a free vacuum cleaner.
Hold on and talk to the decision maker of the house.

 

by bltsandwich17
10-11-05
We don't want no fucking long distance.
It will serve you lots of use and can make a big difference to your phone bill.
Hey baby, how are you? I missed hearing your voice. You havent called in a long time. The children miss you.
AAAHHHH *click*
Hello? hello? Baby, dont leave me...waaaaa
*dial tone*

 

by bltsandwich17
11-03-05
*woof woof*
No! I am not playing catch with you.
5 minutes later!
WHy won't this chick play catch?
Go away!
I warn you!

 

by bltsandwich17
11-03-05
Time to add the bacon!
Oh no! don't cook me!
:O
I will kill you eventually!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Bacon is the king of killers.

 

by bltsandwich17
11-04-05
HOW ABOUT SOME COFFEE? YEAH! YEAH! I NEED SOME COFFEE!
dude, get lost!
I NEED COFFEE. GIVE ME COFFEE!
I am not giving you any coffee, you caffianted freak!
I HATE YOU!

 

Fuck off and spread that sandwhich hating up your asses!
by bltsandwich17, 11-05-05

 

by bltsandwich17
11-05-05
WHat did one pencil say to the other?
I don't know what?
COme on and get the LEAD out.

 

by bltsandwich17
12-02-05
One day, on a class field trip....
Is that really the picture of a wanted criminal?
Yes. The police want to capture him very badly.
Well, Why didn't you keep him when you took that picture?

 

by bltsandwich17
12-03-05
What seems to be the problem?
Well,..umm...I think I may be nymphomanic.
I see. I may just be able to help you, but I must wanr you my fees are 80 dollars an hour.
That's not bad. How much for the whole night?

 

by bltsandwich17
12-14-05
We know nothing about raising girls, so you can't be telling them how to raise their daughters.
Well, someone, in this room, was once a girl.
Hey, that was a long time ago before the operation. You promised you wouldn't ever mentioned that.

 

Oh No! It's a blackout.
I guess the town forgot to pay the electricity bill.
by bltsandwich17, 12-17-05

 

by bltsandwich17
12-28-05
How many willies do you have?
Umm..One the last time I checked.
My daddy has 6 willies.
6? How is that?
Well, it takes an egg and a willie to make a baby and there are 6 of us kids. So, my daddy has 6 willies.
:-O

 

by bltsandwich17
1-11-06
I swear I won't make you fat. Eat me, only me!
Fuck no! I hate you, evil bacon.
Don't leave me, You won't get fat. I swear.
FUck off, you lying bastard.
5 months later...
HAHAHA! Another exploding fatso! 2 points for bacon.

 

by bltsandwich17
2-02-06
Father I have sin.
How?
I had sex.
Drink this holy water and your sins will be forgiven.
Next day, Different Nun.
FAther, I have sinned. I peed in the holy water.

 

I guess I shouldn't have farted near that match.
by bltsandwich17, 4-01-06

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