All comics by dracula

 

by dracula
3-23-06
why are we in a bathroom?
so i can suck your semen
poopdick
ha now your a squittel!
now your eaten!...i wonder what semen taste like.. a little birdy once told me it was salty...men nevermind

 

by dracula
3-23-06
One day a crab challenged a dolphin to MORTAL KOMBAT!
I challenge you to Mortal Kombat!
OK but i have to warn you i cant transform into a man eating demon!
He didn't listen....
that is quite possibly the dumbest shit i have ever heard! EVER!
fair enough
And so the crab sealed his ironic and possibly retarded fate. THE END
mmm......needs hot sauce.

 

by dracula
3-23-06
haha im having asian tonight
I wonder what im having for dinner
dumb bitch doesn't even notice me...i thought asians were smart...
MOM! IM HOME!
HA! i killed him, luckily i know Kung - Fu!

 

by dracula
3-23-06
One day some goth kid was being gay as usual
Conformist ass-wipe!
This makes me wonder....if your a non-conformist, then why do you conform with the other goths?
He got told
Oh my God! I'm sick of hearing that!!!
Wow, you may be the biggest ass-mongler I have ever seen
So he decided to be the usual gothic pussy
I guess i'll cut myself...
Ohhh, goths are just to much of pussies to fight back, now I understand

 

by dracula
3-23-06
One day there were Asian twins
Hey I have an idea, lets play video games
No, lets do calculus
They were arguing
Wu-Ta-Muga-Wang!
OOm-Wan-Tan-Jon!
So they decided to add to the sterotypes even more
Hey! Lets eat dogs!
OK!

 

by dracula
3-23-06
One day a hooker was horny and desperate
Hey there studley!
Um...i'm a dog you fucking weirdo
She was a little crazy
Yeah a hot dog! Oh my God!! Lets Fuck!!!!!
No
Now that my friends is an insult!
Im not that bad!
You are worst than Barbara Streisand

 

by dracula
3-23-06
Hi there.....friend
You seem nice...
KILL!!
Which is why you should save your soul and become i Jahavah's Witness!
I've always wanted to do that!!

 

by dracula
3-23-06
One day an Asian and some drunken idiot were arguing over politics
NO! BUSH IS DOING A VERY GOOD JOB!
Bush's policies are over-rated, even at 30% approval ratings
Oh-no you didn't!
Hey aren't you a little under-aged...nevermind lets fuck
Yeah i've been wondering....why are all this guys comics about sex...he must have no life...
Dont you ever mess with the creator!
....lets go eat chicken and waffles
Thanks for messing up the comic asshole

 

by dracula
3-24-06
BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN
Hey there
Ohhhh you know how to turn me on!
They flirted
Same here studley
Oh my goodness
So they got sent to hell for being faggots
Ironic
Yeah....lets have anal sex

 

by dracula
3-24-06
One day a little boy & Aunt Jemima met in hell
Sure nigga
Aunt Jemima can i ask you a question?
They almost became friends...
I killed a KKK member
Why are you in hell?
I-R-O-N-Y
How 'bout yourself?
I killed a nigger

 

by dracula
3-24-06
One day there was some stupid redneck
Get off my property! damn hippie!
Hey man, thats not cool!
The ass-wipe even yelled at an old lady
Get off my property! Stupid old whore!
....the angels hate you
BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN
Say uh this looks familar
Yeah...ever get that urge to have gay cowboy sex on a mountain?

 

by dracula
3-24-06
TRADING FAMILIES - BLACK & AMISH
So ya'llz is tellin' me I cant have my PS2?
That is right young sir
He was excited.....
OH SHIT RIMS!!
Today I am going to show you how to make rims, so pay attention
RaCiSm? o_0
NIGGA 200 YEARS OF OPRESSION NOW THIS SHIT!?
You'll have to do a little work

 

by dracula
3-24-06
One day the hoe didn't make enough money
BITCH I DUN TOLD YOU ONCE, THE HOE ALWAYS HAS THE DOUGH!
No daddy no!
He was mad!!
....well than i guess ima have to kill you!
OH MY GOD, HELP!!
He got curious...THE END
Well.....I am a necropheliac

 

by dracula
3-24-06
ASIAN TEENS SEX
yeah baby, you get me hard
Actually Mel the proper term is erection.
WHITE TEENS SEX
Oh my god baby, im so lucky i found you in that chat room
He dosn't know im a man
GOTHIC TEENS SEX
Lets belt each other with spikes until we nearly destroy our skin cells
Yeah, than lets poop on each others chest

 

by dracula
3-24-06
um......
What do you want you little fucking piglet?
I've been wondering why do chaldean women have mustaches?
I dont know..but there is one thing I do know
That Alex definetly has a mustache, AND ITS HUGE

 

KIPJAW
DAMN IT!! WHO'S KIPJAW!?!
I totally wanna rock KipJaw's crotch
by dracula, 3-24-06

 

by dracula
3-24-06
One day a hippie & some kid met
Hey man
Yo did you want something?
So they decided to do it
Yeah, I heard you were looking to try acid
Yeah, only if you got sunshine
They licked it....*to be continued*
Yes sir, i'll do it with you so its cool
OK, let me have a blotter sheet

 

by dracula
3-24-06
They were peaking..
Whoa man this shits kicking in....*laughs*
Yeah man, you look like a Micheal Jackson like creature
He was confused
Whoa man you like some creepy asian bitch
Sir! I Will not respond to those kinds of comments!
It will soon make sense.....*to be continued*
Whats going down man?
Oh nothing....

 

by dracula
3-24-06
Ha! Fooled!
*licks*
*pretends to lick then leaves*
He messed up
Whoa man, you look lick a foot with ears!
THANKS ASSHOLE!!
Weird
Whats up dude?
Oh nothing....

 

by dracula
3-24-06
ONE DAY A SUPER HERO CAME TO CHURCH!
I'm here to save the day!
Oh My God I love you!!
THEY TALKED!!
Well....it turns out a fought the "constrictive vagina" and lost, causing me to have to change my superhero name
Why did you decide to find religion in your life??
................WHAT A FUCKING LOSER!!
.....Paralyzed Penis
Whats does "PP" on your costume stand for??

 

by dracula
3-25-06
One Day A priest was helping a boy...
Hello there Timothy
Whats up G? I want to become a Priest
He asked him a few questions...
Do you swear to selibicy?
Yes
He tried to distract the priest but ended up getting fucked in ass
OK, now finally bend over
.....Hey look an eight year old boy!

 

by dracula
3-25-06
HAHAHAHA ITS GOING TO BE HILARIOUS
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why?
OMG SO FUNNY!
To get to the other side!!
LOLOLOLZZ!!
YEAH! HOW SWEET!
OMG HAHA SO FUNNY!
It looks like your jokes "kill"!

 

by dracula
3-25-06
ONE DAY TIMOTHY CONFESSED HIS SINS
Lay it on me
Dear Father, I have sinned
SOME STRANGE SECRETS
Oh really...
OK this one time me & my friend "shot a load" on the priests sandwhich, and he asked who made it!
TO BE CONTINUED
PLEASE TELL ME MORE...
Yeah, and this other time when the priests mom was in from california we looked up gay porn and framed the preist!

 

by dracula
3-25-06
YOU WOULDN'T LIKE HIM WHEN HE'S ANGRY!
....
Yeah, and this other time we called the pope John Paul the 2nd and told him that the priest molested us, and he wished for him to be sent to hell!
THE PRIEST TRANSFORMED INTO A MAN EATING BEAST!
Your dead you son of a bitch!
AAHHHH!!
....AGAIN
HAHAHA YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!
........AND THIS OTHER TIME....

 

by dracula
3-25-06
YEAH....
Did I ever tell you that you have beautiful eyes?
Um.... I'm the waiter
...
Where did he go??
YAY! STEREOTYPES! :)

 

by dracula
5-18-06
One day Jesus decided to check out Myspace.
Hey theres a Myspace bulletin about me.
98 % OF TEENS WONT REPOST THIS FOR JESUS, IF YOU DONT, YOU ARE PROMOTING SATAN!!!
He was angered but calm.
AGH!!! I'm sick of people making it look like i'm a myspace nerd, i'm writing back!
This is Jesus. Do not repost anymore bulletins about me. It makes me look like a myspace douche, which i am not, because i am Jesus and i am way cooler than you will ever be.
BAM!
What happened!?!?
You didnt repost the bulletin about the killer elephant

 

by dracula
5-19-06
MATT WAGNER HAS A JEW FRO!
gahahiguhgsi!!!!!
Ya can't drink coffee that way, ya doin' it all wrong!
MATT WAGNER TAPED OFF THE VELCRO ON HIS BINDER
THATS IT! I'M GETTING THE VELCRO!!!
Ya can't try and seduce me like that, ya doinn it all wrong, that axe was like 50 feet away from my face!!!
NO MORE JEW FRO!!!
RIP THE FRO!!!!!!
OH GOD, NOT THE VELCRO, AHHHH!!!, MY JEW FRO, AHHH!!!!!!

 

by dracula
7-12-06
hey little girl
hey
whats your name?
Wang Bang, yours?
that zebra dude, im here to molest you, because thats what i do besides make pointless comics that i masturbate to in my moms basement
oh

 

by dracula
7-12-06
hey guess what?
what?
that sebra guy is my idle and now i am going to start making comics just like his!!!!
alright!!!
(1)why did the cantalope jump in the lake????(3) BECAUSE IT WANTED TO BE A WTERMELON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
(2)why?!!?

 

by dracula
7-12-06
Steve Miller
Some people call me the space cowboy
yeah, some call me the gangster of love
yeah, "dawg"
whoa! your a space cowboy!?!?
BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!, what an awesome joke!!!
BAHAHAAHAHAH!!!!!

 

by dracula
7-14-06
SEBRA IS AWESOME!!!
i want a sandwhich
god damn niggers
WHO ARE YOU BITCH!?
Sebra negroid
whoa!!! awesome i love now, i want your auto graph...and a sandwhich
hey guess what people that fart in elevators stink, literally!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

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