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Well I was born into a family of treveling circus freaks in the middle of the Civil War,and obviously my early years were difficult. I could never get over the fact that the poinsetta was the official plant of Christmas even thought it has such a high sensitivity to cold.Then to top off an extremely hard childhood i was caught by Thomas_Ferguson and his black,chinese,midget parter Too_Easy and sold as a slave to portugese winemakers. Thankfully the transition into adultedhood was easier as I landed a job as President Nixon's personal vibrating footstool.After being fired by Mr. Nixon for putting cling wrap in his toilet for my and I quote "12th strike" I enjoyed a long succesfull career as the worlds strongest man,having victories over Mark Henry,Louis Cyr and Moses.Dieing in 1912 my funeral was a beautiful affair attended by the likes of Dumbledore from Harry Potter and Tom Cruise as Ethan Hawk from the Mission Impossible series.I also hate everything random.
