All comics by hog

Profile

 

by hog
6-18-03
Meanwhile, in the year 33 A.D.....
Wow, i didn't think this would hurt like i did
Well, it's not my fault you wanted to save the world from eternal damnation.
Well, can i at least get a hit of that jack you got?
No.
Well, screw you then. I'm forgetting your ass when you come into my kingdom.
Fuck you too, Jesus.

 

by hog
6-18-03
Try some urban moonshine.
No fucking way. What's in it?
Don't be a pussy, just taste it! I made it myself.
Just tell me and I'll drink it. You know me, I'm a pretty fucking hardcore guy. I promise I won't kick your ass.
Hmm.. Tastes funny.....
4 cups of rum, 2 cups of vodka, one half shot of salt, one half shot of lemon juice, 2 cups of rust water for that special zing, and some dumpster coffee. You know, the usual stuff.

 

by hog
6-18-03
This is fucking absolutely astounding.
Just fucking wow.

 

by hog
6-18-03
Well, well, well. If it isn't Jesus "Saved your soul " Christ
No, don't worry my son, I'm just a priest.
I'm not your son you fucking sick pervert.
Wait, calm down, child. The lord works in mysterious ways
Like how?
Well, what you must first do is remove your pants and underwear, my son. Then, I will show you one of those mysterious ways.

 

by hog
6-18-03
heheheheheheheeee
Jesus christ that urban moonshine is having some wierd effects on me!!
It's like I'm on a acid trip......
Hey mikey, he likes it! Heeeee Liiii- eiieiiikesss Ehhhhhiitttt!!!!!
Will Snitz ever find his way back to consiousness? Stay tuned!!!!
*puking*
Sir, uhhh, sir, can you hear me?

 

by hog
6-18-03
St. Anger round my neck, he never gets respect!!!!
!!
I fucking hate Metallica. Bunch of pussies never put out any good music.
What!!! I'm gonna fucking destroy everything I see if you don't take that statment back right fucking now!!!!
Whatever, just don't clog the toilet like the last time you went insane with uncontrollable rage.

 

by hog
6-18-03
Where the fuck have you been?
Relax, I just got the news.
About how I dragged an old lady through parts of the L.A. river and passed out in a Fresh N' Save?
No, I heard St. Anger sucked. I rushed to tell you the news and figured I'd bail you out in the mean time, too.

 

by hog
6-18-03
I don't know if I like finding nemo. Seems pretty fucking stupid to me. Let's go into the seats next to us.
This just changed the entire plot of the movie. Holy shit, that orange fish is a lot closer now!!!
Later......
Yeah, I tried to tell them that they should have come with us, but they didn't fucking listen.
Well, now we know why their show got cancelled.

 

by hog
6-18-03
Jesus christ, how do I tell him......
Later, at home......
I FUCKING WRECKED THE VAN!!!
!!!!!
Now don't worry, it can't be that bad. It's not like it exploded or anything..... why are you looking at me like that?

 

by hog
6-18-03
Can I have your social security number?
What for?
I just need to do a little shopping.
It's 999-88-777. What are you getting?
Oh, you know, I need a new razor, some deodorant, I need some dryer sheets, you know, shit like that.....

 

by hog
6-19-03
God?
I will allow you to ask me any one question about the mystery of life, my child.
What is it like having a vagina?
I can read your mind, and I suggest you ask of me another question. One that pertains to a very serious issue. Perhaps a cure for cancer?
Why do men have nipples?

 

by hog
6-19-03
I feel uncomfortable, father....
What? I bought you the jewlery......
The halo sucks, and it makes me look gay.
Don't be so negative, my son....
Can we fuck now?

 

by hog
6-19-03
Jesus fucking christ....
Hey, you're Andrew W.K., aren't you?
I'm about to give you a break.
I love kit kats!
A couple of bones.... Your skull...

 

by hog
6-21-03
I was talking to this guy named ryan earlier in the subway
Really? What about?
I don't know. He was kinda wierd.
Earlier that day......
Stay away from me.
I'M SO PATRIOTIC I WANT TO GET SHOT IN THE THROAT AND DIE!!!

 

by hog
6-21-03
Hey, since you like Leftover crack so much, I bought us both concert tickets!
I heard, like, half of one song and said it was ok. I'm not going. Metallica's taping the St. Anger video and I hope to be arrested and sent to San Quentin in time to see it.
It's gonna be a great time. I bought you a t shirt.
I'm going to rob a liquor store. I don't have time.
Ello' May I take your bleedin' order? Try some corn fritters, you pancake flipping scallywag?
GIMME ALL THE FUCKING CASH IN YOUR REGISTER!!!! Ah, fuck it. I can't rob a British person. A Calorie Burger, please.

Showing page 1.