All comics by illyanadmc

 

by illyanadmc
1-22-03
hey! have you seen my squirrel?
it says here that he's with jesus now...
oh, man, this is gonna be sweet!
you said there would be nuts?
many squirrels come through here, sir. i am sorry, but i cannot keep tabs on each and every one.
what's that smell?

 

by illyanadmc
1-22-03
is there some kind of problem here, sir?
oh, um... i dropped a letter in here by accident. i swear, there's no problem!
okay, how about you read that letter aloud for me?
ummm... dear president bush... i think that our police force is full of incompetent jacka- can you just arrest me now?
good thing i can get out of handcuffs with these stick-arms!
get in the car, twiggy!

 

by illyanadmc
1-22-03
what up, g?
nuthin', yo. what's in the briefcase?
yo, it's the newest thing goin' around the valley - cocaine. wanna bump?
nah, that's cool, yo. i think i'll just stick to the heroin. have you talked to my nigga triceratops yet?
yo, how you like that?
naaaaaa... i don' feel so good, man....

 

by illyanadmc
1-22-03
zoe contemplates phoning a recent "blind date"
hmmm... should i call him? he was just so wierd....
(they're on the phone)
hey, baby. i didn't think you'd call me back!
well, the promise of an eternal existence based on my carnal desires seems promising.
damn, i can't believe i got another date! i'd better post this to my livejournal!

 

by illyanadmc
1-22-03
oh... what have i done?
hey? wanna go again?
maybe a lobotomy will kick these nasty thoughts?
the pig is all greased-up again. i used coconut-scented lotion this time, you know, cuz you like the beach and all.
ahhh... sweet relief... gurgle....
i'll be right back with the pig. I'M COMIN' FOR YA, RHONDA!

 

by illyanadmc
1-22-03
ahhh... my show is on!
next up on FOX, watch the ladies duke it out on a new episode of joe millionaire!
aren't i perfect as evan?
OMG, he is, like such a hunk!
little do those greedy little trolls know, not only will they not get 50 million bucks if they win, the lucky girl will have to spend eternity down here!
this is like a fairy tale, and i'm snow white waiting for my prince. ::swoons::

 

by illyanadmc
1-22-03
man, i am soooo bored
wanna switch places?
still bored?
yah. this bench just ain't cuttin' it.
what about now?
i think i'm sinking or something....

 

by illyanadmc
1-22-03
excuse me, could you give me some directions?
sure, where do you need to get to?
penn station.
sure, it's just a few blocks down and one block over.
thanks.
oh, dammit! i forgot i wasn't supposed to talk to you! guess it's time for me to go turn myself in to homeland security. dammit!

 

by illyanadmc
1-22-03
man, i feel so obsolete.
me, too. i hate recent technological developments. so what if i'm not a flat-screen? the lazy fat-ass who watches me all damn day isn't looking to great himself.
the chatty bitch who talks on my 24/7 wants a cordless. well, she could benefit from getting a little cord removed from her beast-like ass. by the way, i'm talking about that mutant tail she has.
no shit, brotha. crap, here comes the bitch. we'd better shut up and turn on "lifetime."
great! another made-for-tv-movie about abused single mothers of minority children living in the mountains. you know just what i like, tv!
psst... i think the phone is on to us!

 

by illyanadmc
1-23-03
well, i'm off to my job interview, honey.
good luck, i guess.
did i get the job?
yah. just go in that room for your drug test.
i feel different. where's my briefcase?
you ate it.

 

by illyanadmc
1-23-03
tell me a joke.
okay. knock knock.
who's there?
interrupting cow.
interrupti-
moo!

 

by illyanadmc
1-23-03
this forum r0x0rz!
fuck yah. i just changed my screenname to "1337 b01." r0x0r.
i wonder if there are any chicks on here?
LMAO!!! i just read the best joke, ever!
OMG, tell me before i control-alt-delete you!
listen: there are 10 kind of people. those who understand binary, and those who don't. fuckin' rad.

 

by illyanadmc
1-23-03
me looking at all of the comics i've made:
fucking shit! there are typos! TYPOS! in *my* comics! there has got to be an explanation - yes, that's it! some internet-monkey must have done this. dammit!
yah, it turns out there's no such thing as an internet-monkey.

 

by illyanadmc
1-23-03
okay, marty. are you ready to go back to 1985?
yes, doc. i am so excited to see if anything has changed... (hint, hint!) OMG, do you get it? chris?
goddamn it, you SCREWED up the line again! argh...
what? i thought that if i whispered, only you would hear me. can i just go get in the speedy car now?
you're gonna have to go ask... hey! is that leah thompson in the delorean? goddamn it, she's supposed to be your MOTHER!
i thought maybe i could take back a souvenier...

 

by illyanadmc
1-24-03
hi. how was work?
it was sooo rad, blah blah blah. blah blah, blah blah blah. blah blah blah bla-blah!
uh-huh.
and then, blah blah blah. blah blah blaaaaaaaah. blah blah.
that's nice.
blah blah blah! blah, blah blah blah. blah blah blah blah blah!!!!

 

by illyanadmc
1-27-03
want to go again?
sure, i think i'm all rested up.
okay. i'll go get the lube.
oh, there's no need for that this time.
what do you mean?
my anus is bleeding.

 

by illyanadmc
1-27-03
okay, time for your prostate exam!
alright.
i'll go get prepared.
okay. just so you know, there's no need for lubrication this time, doc.
and why's that?
my anus is bleeding.

 

by illyanadmc
2-06-03
wow, it's the reunion. now, i was pretty much a newbie during the reunion competition, so i guess none of you should really remember me.
however, i remember a lot of you guys. you sure did have a lot of inside jokes in your comics.
my anus is bleeding!
try again, i know that one.

 

by illyanadmc
2-10-03
hi, so, are you my blind date?
yah. i didn't think you were gonna show up for awhile there. i've already had a few drinks, so i apologize for any strange behavior.
well, i kind of have a surprise for you. i'm not really who you think i am.
umm... you're not a guy, are you?
i'm lara flynn boyle!
crap. i'm not drunk enough for this.

 

by illyanadmc
2-13-03
are you okay?
shit, man. this diarrhea is really killing me! oh, man... it's pretty damn painful!
i have some immodium AD in the bathroom. do you want some?
yah, that'd be rad.
okay, i'll be right back.
thanks....

 

by illyanadmc
2-13-03
hmmm... i wonder if it would work....
hey! where'd he go!
oh, i was wondering where you went. do you want that immodium AD now?
nah, i found something better. i stapled my ass shut.

 

by illyanadmc
2-19-03
you look pretty down, illyana.
well, i don't feel that i am witty enough to best any of the stripcreator veterans in the contests.
well, you and i both know that i am not supposed to do this unless you are in dire straits, but you really look like you need some cheering up. so, i will grant you one wish.
okay. i wish that i will win the stripcreator contest #171.
hmmm... my internal wish-maker is telling me that granting that wish would be impossible. sorry, hun.
grumble...

 

by illyanadmc
7-24-03
on the evening of 9.10.01...
SWEET! tomorrow is my 21st birthday! i am so excited! it is going to be so awesome!
i wonder what i should do... i hope i'm not too tired from waking up early for school! it would be such a crappy birthday if i were too tired to go to a bar!
well, i guess i'll just take a nap tomorrow after school so i'll be able to party all night long! man, i am so excited!!

 

by illyanadmc
8-06-03
this summer in tucson...
haha - all those losers in europe are such pussies.
why?
they think it's so hot over there. all they're doing is complaining about how hot it is... blah, blah, blah.
yah! they would never be able to live here in arizona. they'd probably melt! losers.
come january... (that's supposed to be snow)
what the fuck is this white stuff?!?!?!
i don't know! it's hurting my eyes! so cold, SO COLD!!

 

by illyanadmc
8-13-03
crap, i think i have this new MSBlast virus.
oh, yah? what's that?
i am not quite sure, but i heard that it'll make me endlessly reboot unless someone comes and unplugs me from the internet.
that really sucks.
oh! there it goes...
bob?

 

by illyanadmc
8-13-03
bob?
BEEP! hey, tom, i'm back. oh, not again-
bob? are you okay?
hello?

 

by illyanadmc
8-13-03
BEEP! tom-get-someone-to-help-
bob? what was that?
you were talking to fast!
BEEP! i-need-to-be-unplu-
okay, i'm just gonna start ignoring you if you don't calm down.

 

by illyanadmc
9-13-03
bring it on home, moby dick
how many more times?
1983
i can't...just...blow out!
the bed's too big without you...
bring on the night!

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