All comics by joft

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by joft
5-14-01
I wonder why we're in the middle of the ocean...
Today I was playing a LAN Rabbit game on Tribes 2, I ran around with the flag for like 20 minutes before I got killed!
um, ok
I like wearing the scout armor
you are dumb
I'll go for the enemy flag!

 

by joft
5-14-01
I am an atheistic anarchist who believes humans evolved from monkeys.
huh?... This is my native land, the tribe's chief outlawed anarchy a year ago because you people were roaming around eating from our garbage cans
I am here in the woods to climb trees and eat poisonous plants in an attempt to evolve into a more complex being
there's a spider on your head
I can kill you because you're weaker than me
Didn't you learn anything about spiders from playing Duke Nukem 2?

 

by joft
5-14-01
I LOV E YOU JULIE!
My tooth brush is the coolest on earth
Right..
My tooth brush is still the coolest on earth!
Must be hard to maintain..

 

by joft
5-14-01
j/k!!!
JoshR77: I made a comic!
raging idiocy: Yay for you.
(whispering) just act like we think he's stealing our soul
I wonder if he realizes we're *subsribed* to national geographic...
Unfortunately because of a net-game called "Slingo" this comic lacks a desirous punchline...
JoshR77: I'm going to brush my teeth!
raging idiocy: Don't damage the wonderous toothbrush, eh?

 

by joft
5-15-01
You've got mail!!!
AAAHHHHHH!
If the people on America online really represent the majority of Americans...
Subject: CONSOLIDATE YOUR DEBT!!!!
...
Then this really is life in hell
Goodbye!

 

by joft
5-15-01
There is no god
My tribe believes in many gods
That's it, you try to push your religion on me and I'll go think freely elsewhere!
DpmHe's just mad because I had to save him from being bit by a spider earlier

 

by joft
5-15-01
Sorry about that folks, it seems our satellite uplink got cut due to dropbacks in ratings for this particular strip
And by the time we got it back up we had forgotten the punchline!
brb
HELP I'M BEING CHASED BY A SPIDER!

 

by joft
5-15-01
Hello elephant, what did you evolve from?
...
I evolved from a monkey! I'm trying to evolve some more, what do you think I'll be next?
A monkey?
Did you forget what you evolved from or something?

 

by joft
5-15-01
Hello little child, I am visiting from America. I donate 17 cents a month to help children like you!
How much did your plane ticket here cost?
I brought this high tech *calculator* for you to learn math with
We already have a network of PCs
I'm going to go help build a hospital
Watch out for the local anarchist, he might bite you

 

by joft
5-15-01
Kibbles and bits, kibbles and bits!
Kibbles and bits, kibbles and bits!
Hello, I'm from America
The plot thickens...
Hello, I evolved from monkeys AND dogs!
Yes.

 

by joft
5-15-01
As the atheist considered various dog food recipes...
Kibbles and bits, kibbles and bits!
I'm not so sure that's possible, Bill
It occured to him that having evolved from a cheetah would be cooler than from a dog
My name isn't Bill
Then what is it?
If only the man in front of him would stop talking, he would be able to think of a way to scientifically explain it. Alas, the religious world wouldn't stop attempting to suppress his free thought...
Don't make me destroy you
I'm going back to America, the comics here aren't funny at all

 

by joft
5-15-01
Yo, my name is robby and I'm the robot
We gonna rap whether you like it or not
Makin' fun uh music videos in a comic strip
We have the rhymes and we have the dance, which makes us really hip
What are you doing!? Your timing's way off
Just trying to make our depiction of a music video accurate, *cough*

 

by joft
9-06-01
A few weeks later...
I don't think this trip to America was a good idea
"I'll do anything to get away from that crazy atheist," you said
Somewhere over the Pacific ocean
The travel agent said we were more likely to be in a car accident than this
We have no cars
I am the master of punchlinelessness
That's what I was thinking
Thinking?

 

by joft
9-06-01
Stranded at sea after their plane exploded...
We sure were lucky to explode this close to shore, Koami
You shouldn't have said my name, now the author will forget it and name me something else in a future strip
Yes, I am too lazy to change the default left and right characters
Look Kenjisaizu, land!
I'm swimming back to our home country (not to be mentioned for fear of continuity errors), you can go to the US
It's funny cause he doesn't realize the obvious, they were on the same plane... heh... heh...
Hey your plane blew up too?!
Oh no... not him....

 

by joft
9-06-01
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAAHAAAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
Will this work?...
They're not gonna get this... they aren't on their twelth hour straight of school work...
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAAHAAAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAAHAAAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
(whisper) queue IRL insane laughter

 

by joft
9-06-01
Deep inside the grill- I mean volcano- we find our heroes stranded hopelessly. Only the rubber on the bottom of their shoes stands between them and the seething magma below.
Great scot, I'm melting!
"Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!"
What was that scream?!
I'm melting!!!
"Aaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!"
Blimey, it got Jim, too.

 

by joft
9-07-01
People in England are fat
You're not fat?
No... I'm just...
Different.

 

by joft
9-07-01
My keyboard is broken
character map

 

by joft
9-07-01
"i8e3i8e3"
"e5i8r4o9q1w2i8o9"
joft decides to try and fix his keyboard...
"i8w?"

 

by joft
9-07-01
Why do you like the desert?
Because... it's clean
...
Two weeks later, at home...

 

by joft
9-10-01
At the undersea amusement park...
"The Hall of Mirrors"
uh oh...

 

by joft
9-10-01
An experiment gone predictably wrong...
00101010011101100011!
Dude, the code red virus! Run!
That was close... Hey, can we change this backgro-
Wait... did you feel that rumbling?...
Ahhhh! The screensaver!
Every icon for themself!

 

by joft
9-10-01
And now Johnny... it is time for you to die!...
Oh no! What to do, what to do!... "Hey look, there goes your mother!"
Huh?... I don't have a...
*chuckle*
HEY! Come back here with my robes!
I can see your marrow!

 

by joft
9-10-01
At the toy store...
Finally saved up enough money to buy a supersoaker monster XL!... Oh the excitement.
My friends will be so envious, I'll be king of the entire neighborhood! Everyone will get so wet, water will be everywhere, icy, cold, freezing water!
You can't bring your toys to hell with you, ya know
Wow, I didn't even foresee an ending this satirical...
I don't believe in hell
Not believing in it will do you as much good as your watergun would even if you could bring it

 

by joft
9-10-01
Comics which rely entirely upon profanities for comedical value are dumb
The adventures of Cannibal Joe
RAH! Leftovers!
Oh no, not him again!
...yeah, so are two liners

 

by joft
9-10-01
Comics which rely entirely upon profanities for comedical value are dumb
The adventures of Cannibal Joe
RAH! Leftovers!
Oh no, not him again!
...yeah, so are two liners

 

by joft
9-20-01
By now you must be wondering what is so original about this comic
Well, you see, the asian girls aren't swearing!

 

by joft
12-18-01
Rudolph couldn't pay attention, he had more important things on his mind
Blah blah... elephant... blah... extinguisher... yatta yatta... next tuesday...
I don't get it, what's the difference?
Our eyes are bigger
Like thinking of a punchline for his next stripcreator comic
Emergency... blah blah... very important... yatta... the fitness club...

 

by joft
10-23-03
Let's talk to me!

 

by joft
10-23-03
I'm on a dangerous mission to find my own lost sense of humor...
If my identity is compromised then nobody will respect and fear me as an awesome ninja with total seriousness anymore...
To be continuated...
Unless... unless I kill everyone I tell a joke to...

 

by joft
10-23-03
ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz
And then suddenly, my thoughts were interrupted... Hey wait, isn't that the narration box's line?
You... you aren't... going to kill me... are you?
zzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZ
Oh, uh. Yes. No, I mean no. I was just thinking about something...
Is there anything you would like to tell me, young grasshoppa?
...? Oops, fell asleep... So yeah, it's a cliff hanger! But not to worry, as I'll have the next strip finished before anyone even sees this one.
Well, I'm kind of having this dilemma about-
WWWIYA! *strikes fighting pose*

 

by joft
10-23-03
Last time, on Totally Serious Ninja!
I had this dilemma-
WWWIYA! *striking into awesome fighting kung fu pose*
*Shuriken*
Oh no! That was so fast, this guy is so totally serious...
So yeah, now you guys see how awesome and totally serious this ninja is, right? I mean, he just killed that guy! That's what I call character development.
What's a Chinese monk doing in Japan anyway?
They... called me... the wandering monk... *cough* because... I wandered... all... over... *death rattle*

 

by joft
10-23-03
Infiltrating this fortess was easy enough... But running into that monk was too suspicious to overlook...
Hey, you! Where do you think you're going!?
What!? You're actually a person! I thought you were some weird statue!
Don't be ridiculous, I'm a samurai sworn to protect the Daimyo of this fortress. Now tell me who you are or I'll kill you!
The ninja contemplated killing him immediately, but hadn't find an opening anywhere on his armor yet.
Dude, you're not a samurai...
What? Oh please, don't tell me you're one of those shallow people that discriminates based on what kind of armor a person is wearing.

 

by joft
10-23-03
Something about the oddity of this particular fortress told him that he was on the right track to finding his lost sense of humor
His armor appears to be impenetrable, I may be forced to use one of my ultra-powerful secret ninpo attacks to get by him...
I mean, just because I wear foreign imported armor doesn't make me any less of a Samurai!
I don't want to risk drawing that much attention to myself this early in the mission though... or else *he* might show up...
And it's not like wearing lingerie underneath this takes anything away from the fact that I'm an Alpha-Man! You need to stop looking at the outside!
Oh no... his words... are numbing my brain... it's some sort of surprise attack that you don't realize is happening until it's too late!
Is there something wrong with a warrior trying to promote peaceful multi-culturalism? Instead of beheading innocent bystanders to test my sword, can't I attack the boundaries between genders?

 

by joft
10-28-03
Just as defeat loomed it's unsightly, politically correct head...
Must... fight...... must... strike back...
Look, you may be a ninja, and I may be a samurai, but can't we do lunch or something instead of engaging in senselessly violent acts?
I can't bring myself... to... hurt him... but I have to get out of here fast... or I'll never be able to commit another violent act again...
I'd give you my card but I can barely move my arms right now, why don't you tell me your number and- OOF!
Our hero recalls the age old rule of "Keeping it simple." Hey, we're sorry if it was anti-climactic, but if it works, do it, right?
Aha! Now for my quick escape!
Hey! Why'd you push me!?... Hey, hey... Help! I can't get up!

 

by joft
10-28-03
hello little asian girl
gary sinise?
whoa, how'd you guess?
well, the first thing someone thinks of when they see a t-rex is to "run," and one of the most famous lines from a movie with "run" in it is from forest gump
i'm leaving, you're scary
poof

 

by joft
10-28-03
What were you EXPECTING?!

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