All comics by laughwhore

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by laughwhore
9-27-09
Hey, Jared... wanna hear a joke?
No, not really, boss.
Hey, Sally... wanna see something cool?
No, not really, boss.
Hey, Daniel... wanna see a penis?
Well, if you insist.

 

by laughwhore
9-27-09
Hey little squirrel. Everyone hates me. My girlfriend dumped me, my mom kicked me out and my dad smacked me.
*nibble nibble*
I dropped out of high school and got tasered by a police officer. My life is pretty terrible right now. I need a friend.
*nibble nibble*
You'll be my friend right little buddy?
Hell no, loser!

 

Hey, Jenny. As your boss I'd like to congratulate you. You're doing fine work. Did you learn anything new today?
Yeah. Having two guys penetrate me in a stall is way more fun and pleasurable than one guy.
by laughwhore, 9-27-09

 

by laughwhore
9-27-09
Hey, Danica. How many dead babies does it take to paint a house?!
I don't know, Shelby... how many?
It depends on how hard you throw them!
Danica, you're so hilarious. I seriously hope no babies overheard that joke though...
Are you fucking kidding me?
Ah, shit.

 

by laughwhore
9-27-09
I use my Alien Space Ray Gun! Damage inflicted: 173 HP
I use my Fariy Wand of Injustice! Damage Inflicted: 3 HP
Ha, I beat you again! You are so fail at this. I win! Woot!
How do you get so strong?! I really need to level up. This RPG game is so hard.
Shit, I need a girlfriend.
Yeah? Well, I need a fucking stronger weapon.

 

by laughwhore
9-28-09
In a world called Plasmayic...
Why the fuck are you playing as a nun?
Why the fuck are you playing as a monkey?
...touche.

 

by laughwhore
9-28-09
Hut hut hut hut...
Hut hut hut hut...
Hut hut hut hut...
Hut hut hut hut...
Hut hut hut hut...
I seriously need to get off the computer.

 

by laughwhore
9-28-09
Oh, oh, oh, you're so good at this Alan!
Keep thrusting... just like that baby.
Bitch, I stopped fucking you two hours ago.

 

by laughwhore
9-28-09
Holy shit... it's an alien! Maybe I should talk to him!
Hello! I am from Earth. I mean no harm! Would you like to com-
That is what she said.

 

by laughwhore
9-29-09
I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money.
But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you.
If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue-
You wanna shut the fuck up?

 

by laughwhore
9-29-09
I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money.
But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you.
If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue-
You wanna shut the fuck up?

 

by laughwhore
9-29-09
Mr. Bacon... your wife is doing great! We'll have to do a fat removal procedure though. Will you please sign it?
Hmmm... alright I guess I'll sign the papers... I just want my wife to be okay!
It's been an hour. I wonder how the procedure is going.
Bad news. I got hungry.

 

by laughwhore
9-29-09
Hmmm... that little girl is standing over there. I think I should mug her... yeah that would be a good idea.
She looks so harmless. I wonder if it'll be easy or not. I bet it will be!
Wow, I can't believe how fucking ugly that butterfly is. I wish I could shit on it!

 

by laughwhore
9-29-09
So...
I'm guessing this would be a bad time to admit I'm anti-mexican...

 

by laughwhore
9-30-09
My wife left me for another man with a bigger "dick". Apparently, mine wasn't big enough for her liking. She took her stuff and left before I could stop her.
After that I tried to commit suicide. Unfortunately, I cut my wrists and failed 'causing these scars to be on my wrists forever.
Now for the rest of my life I have to remember that terrible day. I can't believe I can get myself into such a sticky situation.
That's what she said.

 

by laughwhore
10-01-09
Wanna go out? I'm black.
So?
I'm automatically hot because I'm black even if I'm not. I also get lots of pussy. And, I have a big dick!
Isn't that agreeing with the negative stereotypes that black people are labeled with due to ignorance?
It doesn't matter. I'm black.
Pick me up at 7.

 

by laughwhore
10-03-09
So, here we are...
Yeah, here we are. In the middle of the woods.
So, what do you want to do?
Well, you're an old business man and I'm a fictional character. I'm not even colored in.
Touche.

 

by laughwhore
10-03-09
Wow... this fire is so red I can hardly see! This must be one helluva fire.
This isn't a fire! You're in hell!
That explains the cat.

 

by laughwhore
10-03-09
I think I've made a conclusion, Pants.
Yeah, Brian? What's that?
Whoever the fuck created this comic needs to stop using the Random Comic Layout feature!

 

by laughwhore
10-03-09
Ewww... what an ugly bug.
Eww... what an ugly human.
Hey ugly bug get the fuck out of my way.
Hey ugly human get the fuck out of my way!
Bug!
Mullet.

 

by laughwhore
10-03-09
That is one sickass halloween costume!
It's not a costume. I'm here to kill you.
Very funny. Now take it off!
That's what she said.
Huh?
Take it off.

 

by laughwhore
10-03-09
Hey there cutie. Wanna go wah wah the penguin?
To be honest with you, I think you're fucking gross.
Are you kidding me? Unless you know how to shizzle shazzle the train or crank a bottle of winnie wannie I would't be talking!
What the hell are you talking about?
I like boobs.

 

And, if you look straight ahead of you, you'll see a vulnerable child and an unemployed Trix Bunny.
by laughwhore, 10-03-09

 

by laughwhore
10-04-09
#&*(&#*(&#
#!*(#*!(*#(!*#(*
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I hate jews too.

 

by laughwhore
10-04-09
#&*(&#*(&#
#!*(#*!(*#(!*#(*
!#!(#&!(#&!(#&(
I hate fat people too.

 

by laughwhore
10-04-09
#&*(&#*(&#
#!*(#*!(*#(!*#(*
!#!(#&!(#&!(#&(
Talking chair. In the middle of the road. By a bunch of ambulances. Okay, then.

 

by laughwhore
10-04-09
I wonder where that robber is.
I wonder where that cop is.
Of course you're black.
Of course you're white!

 

by laughwhore
10-04-09
What the fuck is this?
Random Comic Layout abuse.

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