All comics by midnitecaptivity

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Is there any way we can stay together??
Oh boy, here we go again.
....ten minutes later
I'll kill you when your back is turned you bitch!!
Does it ever end?
...ten more minutes later
Please!! I'll do anything!!
Let me know when we get to the part where I'm supposed to give a shit.

 
Please, don't say it again.
It never fails.
Yo mutha fucka WEEEEEEEEEEEE

 

How about we get on this bed, and I let you kiss a rabbit between the ears?
Can you at least kiss my boo boos?

 

Hi, I'm Midnite. You're cute.
Um, hi. Did I mention I am gay?
That's ok, I have an anal fetish and I love gay guys.
OMG I love you!
The strap on was a great touch, don't you think?
Can my boyfriend join next time?

 

You know you really should go to church. That will fix your marriage. You should have been praying the whole time. It really does work. Are you listening to me? Go see Father Moe Lester.
I don't want to fix it. I don't want to. I don't want to...
Now Midnite, you know that God can heal all things. He's healed all the boys that have come to me. So if you just pray with me, and let me lay hands on you....
UGH! I DON'T WANT TO!!
AHHHHHHHHH!! I don't want to! I don't want to! I don't want to! Did I say I don't want to enough?!?! Cause I can say it again!!
All I did was say, "Hi". You didn't have to bite my head off.

 

See, I thought about shit canning myself.
But that didn't work. The garbage guy said I didn't have rigor mortis, yet.
I pleaded with the local serial killer, but he said I don't fit the profile he's striving for. Then he went back to reading his instruction manual.
See, it says it right here, "You should kill white chicks."
So now, I guess I'm just going to have to do it myself.
AAHHH FUCK!! I needed this nail to hang the "Go Away" sign on the front door.

 

I'm not really sure if I have a nice ass. Would you look and tell me?
Does Dolly Parton float?
Ok, there. Hurry up and tell me.
Hey! Where'd you go?
I'm right here. I'd say your ass is pretty nice.

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