All comics by pbannie

Profile

 

by pbannie
4-26-02
In a church not far from where you live...
Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.
Please, child, come confess it all to me.
Well, last week I kicked a puppy, and called my best friend 'a girl' 'cause he couldn't hit a baseball.
Let me lay my hands on your 'head' and all will be forgiven.
I thought homosexuality was a sin.
Only for those who haven't been trained properly in the seminary.

 

by pbannie
4-26-02
Readers ask...
What does the 'P.B.' stand for, Annie?
It's a family name.
'Perky Breasts'?

 

by pbannie
4-26-02
Readers ask...
What does the 'P.B.' in your name stand for?
It's a nickname my last boyfriend gave me.
'Psycho bitch'?

 

by pbannie
4-26-02
If Lucy were being taped today...
Lucy! I've decided we're gowena get divorced.
Wah!!! Why, Ricky? Why?
I'm out of de closet. Fred and I are moving in togedder.
I think I'm going to throw up.

 

by pbannie
4-26-02
If Little Rascals were being taped today...
I hereby call the first meeting of the 'Heman Woman Haters Club' to order...
...first on our agenda is the problem with women trying to... *BOOM* - Who are you!?
I'm Attorney Jane Adams, and on behalf of all the girls on this show I'm suing you for gender discrimination...
Oh brother...

 

by pbannie
4-26-02
If Gilligan's Island were being taped today...
Next on Gilligan's Temptation Island, we see if we can get 5 sexy singles to get our happily married couple to break their wedding vows...
Mrs. Howell, Mrs. Howell, Mrs. Howell, Mrs. Howell, my name is Gilligan and I'm going to get naked and rub coconut cream pie all over my body and then you can lick it off...
Oh dear boy. I thought you would never ask. I've already taken the liberties to rub pine apple all over my own naked body and plan on turning the two of us into the worlds biggest pina colada...
Eeeeeuw...

 

by pbannie
4-26-02
If Petticoat Junction were being taped today...
[singing]...there's Uncle Joe, he'll be looking from below, at the junction...[/singing]
Uncle Joe, how long do I have to sit on the glass coffee table? My backside is getting so sore.
Oh, you just quit yer whinin'. Billie Jo never put up such a fuss...
"When dirty uncles attack"? It's gotta be FOX.

 

by pbannie
4-26-02
If Leave it to Beaver were being taped today...
How was work today, Ward?
They discovered a huge accounting error and have to lay off 400 engineers in my division... ...including me.
Oh Ward. How are you going to find another job at your age?
What kind of woman scrubs floors wearing pearls?

 

by pbannie
4-26-02
Mr. President?
Yes?
I understand you've declared war on poverty.
That's right.
I'm here to surrender.
!

 

by pbannie
4-29-02
The Stripcreator characters make their demands.
We need fewer characters with more expressions.
We need more style, daddy-o. These cats is all way to square. Now slap me on the down side a lay another trip on me.
We need more doughnuts... ...with sprinkles... ...and cream filling.
We need more beer, and pants, and more beer.
We need more urinal cakes. I just got the last of them.

 

by pbannie
4-29-02
Annie gets her daily dose of SPAM
Make $$$ Now! [ DELETE ]
Save Timmy by forwarding this note to everyone you know... [ DELETE ]
My name is Adadaba Du. Help me move money from Uganda to your bank account... [ DELETE ]
Only 1 day left. Buy 4 X-10 cams for $49 and get 7 free.. [ DELETE ]
Attract more women with a longer penis....
Now why would I want a woman with a longer penis?

 

by pbannie
4-29-02
If Andy Griffith were being taped today...
Hey Andy, how about we take a ride outside of town and check out the new topless bar?
Naw, Barney, I tol' Aunt Bee that I'd be home early for supper t'night.
Well, gee, Andy. Thelma Lou tol' me that she and Helen have a new routine worked out and I wanted to see it fer m'self.
They'll do anything for ratings these days...

 

by pbannie
4-29-02
[ KNOCK KNOCK ]
Who's there?
" H "
" H " who?
Gehundheit!
This is so-o-o bad.

 

by pbannie
4-29-02
Knock-knock
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupti..
Moo!

 

by pbannie
4-29-02
[ KNOCK KNOCK ]
Who's there?
Fortify.
Fortify who?
Fortify dallah will get you a hummer downtown.
I'm sorry I asked.

 

by pbannie
4-29-02
If Gomer Pyle were being taped today...
Sgt. Carter, I accidentally ran over the Major with the jeep again.
PYLE!!!!
Sha-ZAM!
You'd think after 35 years they could come up with at least one new script...

 

by pbannie
4-29-02
[ KNOCK KNOCK ]
Who's there?
Liquor.
Liquor who?
Liquor in the front and poker in the rear.
It would be a lot funnier if he wasn't carrying a cat...

 

by pbannie
4-29-02
[ KNOCK KNOCK ]
Who's there?
Adolf
Adolf who?
Adolf ball hit me in the mowf and now I have to eat frew a straw.
Sucks to be you. Get it? 'Suck'? Oh, nevermind...

 

by pbannie
4-29-02
[ KNOCK KNOCK ]
Who's there?
Dictate.
Dictate who?
Dictate like shit when your boyfriend's a homo.
This has got to be an all-time low.

 

by pbannie
4-29-02
[ KNOCK KNOCK ]
Who's there?
Pussywillow.
Pussywillow who?
Pussywillow pen up like a flower if you stroke it just right.
Oooh baby! Let your fingers do the talking...

 

by pbannie
4-29-02
[ KNOCK KNOCK ]
Pheromones.
Pheromones who?
Pheromones when I kiss her neck.
Lucky Farrah...

 

by pbannie
4-29-02
[ KNOCK KNOCK ]
Who's there?
Pheromones.
Pheromones who?
Pheromones when I kiss her neck.
Lucky Farrah...

 

by pbannie
4-29-02
[ KNOCK KNOCK ]
Who's there?
Catholics.
Catholics who?
Catholics my dick every morning.
I hope Cathy uses mouthwash afterwards.

 

by pbannie
4-29-02
[ KNOCK KNOCK ]
Who's there?
Acerbate.
Acerbate who?
Acerbate my sandwich so I shipped him off to Bosnia.
I wonder if that should have been 'acerbate whom'?

 

by pbannie
7-19-04
The New Pastor Arrives...
Welcome to our church.
Thank you. I'm so glad I can bring my perspective of Christianity to you.
So what made you decide to become a minister?
All the dictator positions were already filled.

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