All comics by sg1138

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by sg1138
10-27-02
Yo, whatup black.
Chillin' . Im just here waiting to pick up my baby mama from the job.
Oh, word? Say man do you have $2 I can get? I wanna get a bottle of Ides
Ok , here go buy one and we'll split it.
Treachery!
Damn man, I spent the money on lottery tickets and I lost.
Idleness is the devil's workshop, for real though.

 

by sg1138
10-27-02
Say man I need a favor on the real man.
Ok. But first I need $2 and a pack of Dutch Masters.
Ok. Peep this, man I need someone to deliver this package to Crenshaw Blvd. How's that sound?
Shit. Thats all kool and the gang, guv'ner
The deal is made. Man, your hat is tight.
Hell awaits.

 

by sg1138
10-28-02
Say man, I just got drafted foo, for real though.
Ah bet? You going to Iraq then?
Yeah. I got a letter from the government the other day. I opened it and read it and it said they were suckas.
I was in the Air Force for 3 years, stationed in Sicily , Italy.
!
Oh snap! That's dope. Drop some science.
Yeah, hold your pistol sideways when you shoot it for maximum efficiency.

 

by sg1138
10-28-02
...So Im in Wal-Mart yesterday looking to buy some chocolate doughnut gems right? And guess who I run into?
Who it is?
Cindy, yo! For real she was looking like...Man I wanted to git wit her!
Yeah mayne, she's fly. Her body has mad flavor!
Hey, you know what they say... See a broad, to get that booty yak 'em...
...Leg 'er down 'n smack 'em yak 'em

 

by sg1138
10-28-02
Have you seen that punk , Chauncey?
Earlier. That foo was rolling up like he was king of the streets on triple gold Daytons.
That fool goes up and down the street all day playin'. He is going to get his wig twisted in a fortnight, watch.
Hijo de la chingada.
Lets get some tacos de cesso, what do you say?
Damn it feels good to be a gangsta.

 

by sg1138
10-28-02
Oi! Jolly good eve to you sir. Might you point me towars the nearest loo?
What? You talkin noise bitch?
Oi! Im from England ya bloody mate. Cheerio!
I got your Cheerios hangin'.
We are better than Americans at everything and we have a Queen.
That's it foo, break yo self, you fittin to get ganked.

 

by sg1138
10-28-02
Say man, what would be the best way to have Jennifer go out with me?
The best way? Toss that ho some bling bling , sayin?
Negative, son. I aint going out like that.
I see. Maybe try flossin yo ride with 22s instead of 20s.
Ah jeah. Bet!
Toss yo self the bling and then play hoes like dominoes for real.

 

by sg1138
10-29-02
Say foo , did you see Sara at the liqour store today?
Oh hell yeah. Man she had it going on. More spicier than a Jalapeno sangwich.
I know, man with her ass she should be arrested for aggravated ass-ualt!
Word is bond yo. She is more fly than Toni Braxton.
Yeah man. She got me wanting to start lifting weights -- get mad diesel, sayin?
Man I heard. Straight ballin!

 

by sg1138
10-30-02
Say man, check it in. Don't make me blast on yo ass for real.
What ? I don't think so , bra. You best be gettin out my face with that noise. What you gon do?
What Ima Do? Don't make me peel yo cap back.
Please. I can't be faded by a mark-ass busta such as yourself.
LOL. Man, I'm jus booshittin with you, foo.
That gun is fly.

 

by sg1138
10-30-02
Say foo, what's your favorite planet?
Ahh man, its Saturn for real. It has rings, yo. Like platinum rings. Ring King style for real.
My favorite planet is Jupiter , man. You know , the big balla.
Yeah, Jupiter keeps its game tight 24/7 ,though.
Also 'cause it has a red eye. People call me Jupiter after I smoke Killa cause my eye get all red and shit.
That is truly crunk.

 

by sg1138
10-30-02
Say man I heard you be hiring?
Thats right, what postition are you interested in friend?
Either business systems analyst or that guy who shows you to your chairs at the Lakers games.
Sorry those are both filled. I do have an opening for sandwich artist in Plano, Texas.
Aight, bet...Say yo nuts be showing.
Today is casual friday.

 

by sg1138
10-30-02
At the Subway...
Ok, Mr Sensation. It says here your references are The 2 Live Crew and Saddam Hussein...
Oh yeah. Saddam Hussein taught me how to shoot a rifle with one hand.
And the 2 Live Crew?
Face Down Ass Down! No Doubt!

 

by sg1138
10-31-02
Say dog, you wanna roll to the shake joint tonight?
Ah, bet its on like like a light switch fo shizzle!
Man, I fittin to wear the Armani suit with my Timberlands tonight. I gotta keep it realer than real deal Holyfield.
I hope Cassandra is dancing tonight. She got ass for days, holmes.
What, you trying to get wit her? Who you think you is? Malcolm Jamal Warner?
Nah foo. Im Kid Sensation, Mayor of Erotic City. For real though.

 

by sg1138
11-01-02
Hey do you think you could help me move this weekend ?
Moving is the spice of life.
Yes it is. I'd happy to return the favor. What kind of cookies do you like?
The kind they be having in those Cinemax movies.
Im confused, why are your pants doing that?
It will be an erotic journey from Milan to Minsk, ho.

 

by sg1138
11-01-02
Say mang, I got a dope new laptop man. It has pentium and megahertz for days.
Wowzers. Does it have mp3?
Hells yes. You can play skiing on it too.
Like, wow! Can you send electric mail?
Ah, bet. But I gotta figure out how to turn on the internet first.
My sega had the internet , my brother onloaded a virus.

 

by sg1138
11-27-02
Say girl whats crackin ? What you say we kick it at Red Lobster after the job?
Boy, you must be out yo tree. You know Colin is my man.
Say man , step off my lady foo, else ! Nahmsayin?
Who me ? Hey, I let my game talk for me . For real though!
Meanwhile near the Hall of Justice...
Say girl you're kickin crazy flavor today. Let me take you to the Olive Garden tonight.
Ooooh Kid Sensation you're mad finer Colin and Martin. You're straight hip hop!

 

by sg1138
12-04-02
Hey man, whats been going on?
Nut'n, man. I called in to the job today and said I had scurvy.
Oh word? What did you kick today?
I went to the movies and saw Harry Potter enters the 36 chambers. Man , that fool be knowin' tight magic.
All my favorite things are magic. Magic Johson, Orlando Magic, Wesley's Black Magic Tire Shine and Keebler Magic Middle cookies.
Who do you think would win in a magic fight , Harry Potter or David Copperfield?

 

by sg1138
12-04-02
Yeah, so I was at Jack in the Box with Tiffany right, and shes all ordering super size and cheesecake like its prom night or something.
Damn! She's living Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous style with Robin Leach, foo.
So the guy says "That'll be 12.34, drive through" and Im thinking "Oh damn, I only got 11, man Im a come up short and she is jet on my ass for real"
Yikes! Man what did you do? Axe her for some scrilla?
Background music : Jay Z - Big Pimpin'
Nah peep this. I roll up and guess who is working.. Lil Chris! That fool throws in extra fries and a fajita pita, and charges me 8 dollars foo!
TIGHT!

 

by sg1138
12-05-02
Say man, I heard you joined the army dude, what up wit it?
Ah, nuttin man. I think they going to send my ass to the West Nile foo.
Dayum, playa. I hope you catch those West Nile terrorists that be sending us that virus. For real though.
Yeah man, then we go to Al Queda . I think its in Iraq. We are going to have rocket launchers and eat quesadillas I think.
Rocket launchers! Damn, thats Sega Genisis for real!
You spelled Genesis wrong ,foo.

 

by sg1138
12-20-02
Ayo, man what are you fittin to do? Play some rock and roll?
Yes. My band is doing a charity event for the battered husband's shelter. We're going to rock for peace!
Say, folk, what is the name of yo band? Do ya'll be having fire on stage?
My band is called Cara Del Verga. We put on a great show, rocking and sweating for life.
Say does your band play any R Kelly?
Yes hear goes...1 2 3 4 FEELIN' ON YO BOOTY FEELIN' ON YO BOOTY

 

by sg1138
12-20-02
Say foo, who are you more offended by Trent Lott or Terrance Trent D'Arby?
Umm. Id say Arby's because their Beef and Cheddar sandwich gave me a bad stomach ache. Also, the Sierra Mist had too much syrup in it. Way too sweet for my blood.
Wha...WTF? Say man I didnt say nothing about no gotdam Arby's foo! Clean them ears out, lieutenant.
Oh, my mistake, guy. So you want to go to Starbuck's and get a Mochachino?
Starbuck was Dirk Benedict's greatest role ever, foo. Did you know that he was originally supposed to play the storm trooper TK421 in Star Wars?
WOW! My favorite part of Star Wars is when Mr Rourke puts those bugs into those guys' ears in the desert.

 

by sg1138
2-14-04
Janet Jackson got me open like 7- 11
Her titty was looking so fine
Justin Timberland is a bitch. I swear man Im going rush his bitch ass next time I see'im.
Say though, he did slay Britney Spears though. Man I would paint 3 murals for a piece of that ass.
I would kiss her.
I would stick my Sha Na Na in her Laverne and Shirley

 

by sg1138
6-16-04
Hey there guy, I heard you're trying to talk to that girl who works at H&R Block.
Yeah but her breath smells like a mixture of Smirnoff Ice and Abercrombie and Fitch
I love that store. I bought this puka shell neckalace from there. And this worn out T shirt that cost 80 dollars.
Yeah, I think Im wasting my time talking to that scallywag, 4 real though. I need dirty indie rock girl who dont be wearing socks with her Chuck Taylors
I like girls who have Coach and Louis Vuitton. Thats rare in Dallas man. Its like a pearl in the rough, friend.
Jeah, and that's why you be wearing some flip flops er'where you go. Acting like you on the OC with a mop top and a trucker hat that says Jesus is your Homeboy. I still love you though, you sissy.

 

by sg1138
6-24-04
Ayo, did you hear Mary-Kate Oslens has Anorexia? Man, she still be looking kind of good though.
Nah man I dont know. She look kind of like a skeleteon with a wig on.
Who do you think is hotter, Paris Hilton or Mary-Kate Olsen? Man thats like picking if you like Beefeater or Seagrams dog.
Easy. Paris 'Sugarmouth' Hilton. You seen that video? Man I went out and bought night vision goggles from Trader's Village after that. Straight up knock boots green and black style.
Tight. I like the part when her phone rings. You know who it was calling her? Fred Savage.
I heard it was Lil Flip. Either way I'd rather have Drexciya than Anorexia. Word is bond.

 

by sg1138
11-17-06
Follow me man, I have the new PS3
OMFG are you serious? WTFWJD?
Yeah man, yeah. It's straight from Turkey bo-wah(boy)! It is was set all them Arabs off!
Arabs from Turkey?
vainglory!
Man yeah! It will put a hump in a camel's back!
PLAYSTATION ALL I EVER WANTED! PLAYSTATION HAD TO GET AWAY!

 

by sg1138
11-17-06
Have you ever wondered why some people buy fake Christmas trees , but during Thanksgiving the turkey is always real?
Who me? No I have not wondered that.
Do you have any special plans for Thanksgiving?
Yes, though my turkey is best described as being "wild" than real or unreal.
Holy Markfoley! You are talking about whiskey!
Or as the indians of the first Thanksgiving called it : "23 Skidoo".

 

by sg1138
11-17-06
What if mandigo meant one trick pony?
What do you mean what if?
It was funny the first time.
Hmmm, yeah and maybe the other 43 times.
What if sg1138 meant pretty fucking cool and handsome guy, and he kicks ass and is real smart, like a computer?
What do you mean what if? KEKEKEz0rs!

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