All comics by smilekt14

 

by smilekt14
1-23-03
Hey Mr. Clown, can you make me a balloon?
Alright.
So where's my balloon?
I lied. I don't make balloons.

 

by smilekt14
1-23-03
Hey Jesus, what did you get for Easter? I got chocolate.
I got resurrected from the dead.
Yeah? Well, I got chocolate.

 

by smilekt14
1-24-03
Wow, I so rarely see a pretty face like yours here in the pits of hell. What are you here for?
I was a prostitute.
Me too.
::Sigh::Even in hell no one believes me.

 

by smilekt14
1-24-03
Cool! A monkey!
Touch me and I'll give you ebola.
You're so silly. Monkeys can't talk.

 

by smilekt14
2-15-03
So this is it, huh?
Yup.
And what are we doing here? Oh that's right. You were trying to convince me the Catholic way of life was best...
By welcoming you into the house of God.
So, this is it?
Yeah, it's a fixer-upper.

 

by smilekt14
2-15-03
Are you there, God? It's me, Margaret.
No.

 

by smilekt14
2-20-03
That's right, little lady. The pioneers who first settled here in the West had a strong moral sense about them. They truly valued the most important qualities, like truth, fairness, justice....
Really? So then, am I wrong in thinking that the settlers who first came to the West were in search of gold because of their own personal greed?.....
And that they forced the Native Americans, the rightful owners of the West, off of their land, out of their homes, and into reservations, where they face innumerable hardships?
I have a saddle.

 

by smilekt14
2-22-03
Hey man, check out those two little asian girls over there. Oh yeah!
Sweet!
I think those guys over there are checking us out.
Yeah, but they're just forumusers. It's probably their first time making a comic and they'll use us in some lesbian joke, or something to do with sex. And then they'll never use us again.
You're probably right. So, do you want to go make out?
Word.

 

by smilekt14
2-22-03
Hey, kid. Wanna smoke?
You mean smoke pot?
No, no. I mean smoke some ham. It's the coolest way to cure your meats. Straight up. All the cool kids are doing it.
Uhm...Well, I don't have any ham...But, I've got some venison in my car.
Whoa, little lady. You are hard core. Let's rock and roll.

 

by smilekt14
3-17-03
Oh man, I'm really itchy for some unexplainable reason. This is absolutely dreadful. It's like my skin is crawling.
Hm, maybe you have fleas. Could it be fleas? My dog has fleas. I think you have fleas.
No, it's not fleas.
Well, then maybe its the heroin. You shoot a lot of heroin. That's probably it. You know, when you drop the H-Bomb?
True, very true.

 

by smilekt14
4-16-03
Check this shit out! We're walking on water! Whoa man, I am totally freaking!
And yet, for some reason, my heart still weeps. There is an emptiness inside of me that yearns to be filled. With love, companionship? Who knows? Alas, not I, for the wounds run deep within me.
Uh, yeah....Alright, this shit's old. I'm off like a prom dress.
::Sigh:: Alone again, like the last visible star at dawn, in a clear morning sky.

 

by smilekt14
4-16-03
So my mom says you're my dad. It's funny, I don't really see any resemblance between us. I mean, you have feet for ears, and arms for legs, and I am completely normal.
Well, you're like me in one respect. Your penis will fall off when you turn 27.
But I don't have a penis. I'm a girl.
Oh sweet jesus.

 

by smilekt14
7-26-03
I am so excited for Christmas this year! And I've been good all year, so Santa won't have to tie me up and spank me all night long like last year.
And he can drink the milk I leave him, rather than me having to drink his. And I won't have to tell mommy what happened only to have her say there is no Santa. It's always been Daddy in a costume.
Yup, this Christmas is going to be amazing.

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