All comics by trumpet

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by trumpet
11-04-07
Oh My God! Are you JESUS?!?!?!?
Nooooo, I am just another average man nailed to a cross by his hands against his own will. Nothing special, just move along...
OK then, Bye mate...
Americans...

 

by trumpet
11-05-07
I have a problem...
What is it? You can tell me Anything...
Well, every morning, I go to the toilet at 7 AM.
That's not bad, that's fine actually.
But, I wake up at 9 AM...

 

by trumpet
11-11-07
What did I do?!?!?! I had the most incredible Boyfriend, and I ruined Our entire Relationship!!! He was so sweet, always put me in front of others, inculding him, he was so handsome, I MISS HIM!
He Was perfect!
How come he dumped you?
I asked him to get a penis Enlargement and Botox.

 

by trumpet
11-12-07
Do You Know THE 2 Types Of People I Hate the most?
No, Who?
Jews, Racists, And People Who Can't Count, the 2 People I hate the most!!
Ok, sure...

 

by trumpet
11-12-07
Can I Just Say that MySpace is the biggest bloody Waste of time on this planet! only Emos and Paedophiles Actually enjoy it!
Yes I know, and somehow, Everyone signs up anyway. I Wonder Why?
2 Days Later
So How many friends do YOU have on it?
55. Suprisingly, I only know 5 of them...

 

by trumpet
11-13-07
Want To Listen To the summary of my Book Report?
Sure. Go ahead.
"This Book expresses art in its climax. It gives Crystal Clear Instructions to obtain Maximum pleasure, and Is incredibly User Friendly, with step-by-step walkthroughs through words and Imagery."
That's Very Good! What book is this about?
The Kama Sutra

 

by trumpet
11-13-07
Last Night's party was GREAT!
Yes indeed...
But did you see that fat brunette with the blonde highlights on the dance floor? Oh dear, that was like watching a supersized Jello bouncing up and down!
That happened to Be my Best Friend!
Oh... Well, The Look does suit her. I actually Hate when women try to be super thin like Kate Moss! Like that blonde from the party last-
That's My sister!

 

by trumpet
11-14-07
I have a suspicion you have become a corporate tool.
Excuse me?
I have friends that said you are spreading subliminal messages.
No idea what you are talking about!
I got to go now. Golly am I thirsty, I am gonna go grab a Coca Cola. Coca Cola, The best damn Cola around, only 75 cents a bottle! Buy one now and win an iPod. See you laters...

 

by trumpet
11-14-07
When I Grow Up, I want to Be A Firewoman, Or A Policewoman, Or a Soldier, Or A Nurse in an ER unit. I want to be a TRUE hero!
Get real!
Fine then! I want to Sell Drugs, Start fights, squeeze guns, get thrown in jail, make rap songs about it, get rich, commit more crimes, and tell people off for downloading my music illegally!
Aaah, now THAT sounds more realistic.

 

by trumpet
11-15-07
Oh No! I got 15% on my Science exam! I am a failure!
Don't ever say that!
You are just a continuos Dissapointment.

 

by trumpet
11-16-07
Me and John want to see a movie tonight. What do you reccomend?
Well, there is this New movie, Love Forever. A boy meets this Really nice and beautiful girl, but she already has a boyfriend. The new couple try to build a sexual relationship under everyone's noses.
Oh god no! Last time me and John saw a movie like THAT together in the cinema, he got so bored he just started mastrubating to pass the time!

 

by trumpet
11-19-07
So How are your Maths lessons going? I heard you have a new tutor.
Great, thanks! I am really improving!
Cool.
We start at 4 and finish at 5:30. We get so much done in an hour.

 

by trumpet
11-21-07
Imagine, if we were by some chance, Just characters in a comic. If our every word was written down, our every thought created for us, our actions planned out;
If we were all part of a big, thriving comic making community! That would be so dazzling!!!
Are you smoking pot or something?!

 

by trumpet
11-23-07
Im thinking of becoming a stand up comedian, but somehow, I have a hutch telling me to give it up.
Well, a joke about 3 people bieng continuously raped, and then the rapists apologizing because they realise it is the wrong people to whom they thought they actually were is NOT funny...
Are you hinting something?

 

by trumpet
11-26-07
HO HO HO! Well, Hello there little girl! What do you want for Christmas?
I want you to Fuck off and DIE!
Later...
Why were you so horrible to santa?
Don't even get me started on last christmas! A broken tamagotchi and an old pair of of grey tracksuit bottoms thrice my size is not really the Ideal Xmas present.

 

by trumpet
11-26-07
HO HO HO! Well hey there little girl! What do you want for Christmas?
I want you to fuck off and DIE!
Later...
Why were you so horrible to santa?
Last Christmas, I asked him to set up one of those infamous Swiss Bank Accounts for me.
Yes... and?
In the end, all I got was an army knife and some Toblerone.

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