All comics by zombie_kisses

 

PATTY HATES YOU by zombie_kisses 10-20-01
Dear Jed,I loved you,but your dog was more into my style of sex. goodbye.I hate you now. yours truly,Patta Caker	maybe I should just go die now	ouch....

 

FLY GUY DONT FLY by zombie_kisses 10-20-01
the audience liked Fly Guy none too much....in fact...they really hated him and began calling their CIA/FBI relatives and told them to start dropping bombs on him. *silence* *crickets* OK SO THERE WAS THIS ONE TIME...bzzzzz...that I flew into this guys soup...and *cough*..	The audience got really fuckin sick of the Fly Guy's act, so they dissed his ass and went down the street to another Comedy Club uh oh..do I have bad breath? I mean I only puke everytime I land....	yes....how stupider could this strip be? so I was standing there and the guy is like SPITTIG all over me the whole time!.... BWAHWAHHAHAHAHAHAHWHHAHWHAHW

 

THE TWINS.......AND THE CHEESEBURGERS by zombie_kisses 10-20-01
Bill loved his twin brother more than he could ever express....and well...Bob straight up wanted to slaughter Bill with a rusty nail,instead inflicting upon himself the terrible forehead boo boo hey I got a bunch of these cheeseburgers from the dumpster over there......like my mullet? OH GOD PLEASE MAKE HIM DIE!!! MAKE MY TWIN BROTHER WITH THE CHEESEBURGERS AND MULLET DIE!!! LET HIM BLEEEEEED	Bob had to pee....he'll be right back. so do you want any? huh? huh? do ya?	so uh......Bob never returned....we think he escaped through the bathroom window...the fucker.. Quite frankly.....to be really honest with you guys,Im fuckin sick of holding these damned smelly burgers...I mean...come on...Im vegan...this is distasteful....

 

THE COMIC MAKER DIED by zombie_kisses 10-20-01
oh my god. I think I might be growing some yucky hair on my chin just like my mother hey you gotta little hair there...on your chin...	SHIT! ku chi, why are we in this comic? not sure ping tai,I think the maker prolly died or something..and they had some low level geekoid take over..	*thinks*..........om..shanti.om shanti......shanta ashtangi...*meditates* ...fuck...we are still here...what the hell is this retard thinking! who the fuck knows?! when do we get paid? and why are we all the sudden at the fucking grand canyon?!?!?!

 

variety tee teee teeee by zombie_kisses 10-20-01
the little voo doo mask guy is really Mel Gibson. dont be fooled..we just cut his legs off at the knees...shhh JU JU BEEISH SLIME NUTS!!!! IAM FAR FROM BEING BENEATH THE FART WINDS OF TRACTORS TRAILER TRASH!!!! .....eh...yeahhhhh.....suuuure....	this is not funny. do not laugh. thank you. .......gosh Im sexy I forgot.....about.....my.........muffins......in.the oven.............	some one kill the guy quick. see kids....and this is how you pound nails correctly.....now lets see if you all can do it...... yeah dad sure....listen,,my friends parents said that you are a psycho and that we should play over their houses from now on.....so smell ya later you gay.

 

SHAKESpEARE IS WORTH IT by zombie_kisses 10-20-01
Jack needed a place to crash....but in Ken's trash barrel there just wasnt room for uncleanliness OH SWEET DEATH.......LEST I SHOW YOU MY FACE...PLEASE TAKE ME NO MATTER WHAT....*sigh* well jeeez Jack, you dont gotta be all emotional just cause I cant let you move in with me....my intuition tells me youd be a filthy roomate	good friends...always die quick listen Im sorry ok. I just....well....Ive been trying to get a part in this Shakespeare play for so long.and you live right in front of the theater...so I figured Id get the part for being so ON TIME. yeah but anyway...I gotta go get lauundry....catch ya later Jack.....	and soon after...Jack moved in his own trash can beside the theater....but when he got the part...the role opposite him was his ex gurlfriend so he killed himself.....the end.fuck you. *FART*

 

THE RANDOM SEQUENCE OF LIFE......and stuff by zombie_kisses 10-20-01
oh god this is going no where already...damned asian gurls.. oh my neck.......I think its broken.. let me wave this falg at your head....I think it might.....free you...or maybe youll rebel...and ..uh..shoot me.	oh shit...Im done for now. we're here to haunt you Sheena yeah..nnghhhhhh *drool*	oh my god make it stop!!!!!!!!!! BUGS DONT NEED TO BE WARM DO THEY?!?!?!?!?? hey its me....Im just warming myself by this here fire.....yum..how nice.

 

TEH SECRET CODE by zombie_kisses 10-20-01
the alien and jesus.....start off on the wrong foot...or in jesus' case,the wrong wodden plank so youve deicided to become religious have you? hardly....Ive come for the secret code to the universe.....gimme it.	things get hostile well...uh Im afraid I cant do that man..the secret code is the secret code and only strict christians know it.. HEY! Ive got an idea! how about you give me the damned secret code or I blow your cross ridden ass to smithereens! eh eh?! you like that?! you like?!	alien gets what alien wants. oh jesus....*recites code of numbers* 43265231312435435464364363 thats the way I like it....now wheres my notebook and pen...?

 

GIVE ME SOME NUTS by zombie_kisses 10-20-01
listen if you give me some nuts..Ill just leave ya alone...and I wont hang out in the middle of your street anymore...I promise.. maybe i pretend he isnt there...he'll go away......	....please mister...my family and I are starving...pleeease doot doot doooooo....	what a poor stupid bastard.....everyone knows when a squirrel strts talking to you and asking for nuts...you better give the fucking squirrels some nuts..... alright mister..you had your chance, you decided to not take it..now Im going to rape you...... oh joy.

 

SPACE COWBOYS by zombie_kisses 10-20-01
SPACE COWBOYS yee haw..I dont know how to fly this thing.... hey watch out for that thing behind you...	SPACE FARMER yum that was good,but that huge saddle that bastard was holding is giving me stomach cramps uh...*cough* cough* yeah...well I better be going..dont wanna be late for my wifes homemade mashed potatas	SPACE ALIEN well this sucks.

 

THE FIRE OF LOVE by zombie_kisses 10-20-01
FiRE IN LOVE oh Lisa the fire in your eyes is amazing.....your so red hot ooh Burnham I love you.......I burn with passion for you.	more love.... my insides melt for you you singe my heart with happiness	AND THE FLAME OF LOVE IS PUT OUT OH NO LISA IM SORRY I SPIT WHEN I TALK~! ......fuckin asshole

 

SHOOT MY HEAD GOAT! by zombie_kisses 10-21-01
this is not reall..Im over tired. Im leaving...Im running away to Las Vegas or something...become a show girl.....make some money. alright....later.	this strip sucks doesn it? well Im fucking nuts or something....	shoot my head right now I will amuse you Mr Goat Thing....with my hammer nail in head trick..... oh the joy. my farts are even over joyed...let me just try and comprehend the happiness I feel right now....hold on will ya?

 

GAY FAGGOT KID by zombie_kisses 10-21-01
I was wondering if you wanted to go out with me?	soooo.....do you wanna?	DYKE! faggot

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