All comics by Any_Color_But_Red

Profile

 

You are appearing to be glum. Is this not so?
Yeah, life is just getting to me. Ya know?
You are needing some new color in your life. Is this not so?
Yeah, that sounds like it would be nice.
I am thinking red is a good color.

 

I feel like no one in the world cares about me. I feel worthless.
You are.
No one understands me. Not at work, not my friends, not even my family.
My heart goes out to you.
On another topic, do you think I would look good in red?
Judging by that tie? No.

 

I can't believe this. I have been fired again.
Ha ha. An oportunity that is called perfect.
How can they just throw me out like that? I am a valuable employee!
It is the fault of this consumer economy. The Corporation must not lose money. When the economy tanks, firing employees boosts profits.
That is terribly unjust!
That is Capitalism.

 

I hate Capitalism. It cost me my job.
Yet, I do not know what Capitalism is. Where did that knowledgeable fish go?
*cackle*

 

I was laid off yesterday.
I feel your pain. This morning, my boss told me that I shouldn't bother coming in tomorrow. He said the next day wasn't looking so good either.
I feel so betrayed. Adrift in a sea of uncertainty and doubt.
Ok.
I want to die.
A wise fish told me that the color red would help.

 

Little yellow bird...
Oh great, another weirdo.
No one understands my genius. My work is ahead of my time. No one appreciates me.
That's because you suck.

 

Mr. President, it's time for your speech.
I can't find my pants.

 

Time for the President's speech. I have my hammer, my nails. I'm all set.
"...Duct tape and shower curtains will protecterate ya'll from nukular attack..."
Woe.

 

You're under arrest.
For what?!
Inciting rebellion.
I'm exercising Freedom of Speech.
Yeah, like that's legal.
Should I even try to explain?

 

No other suspects could be found. You are guilty of the murder.
I love racist law enforcement.

 

Terrorists plotting the downfall of freedom. I must report them.
Did you get that image?
Yeah. Bush looks like a monkey.
I dislike his warmongering.
At least our basic rights are being protected.
Quiet kids! Big Brother is listening!

 

Taking into account the apalling lack of intellegence in the two main political parties, I have decided to start a new party...
...The Cluck You Party!!
At least we should get the animal rights vote.

 

Friends and comrades! All those oppressed by the Capitalist monster that is devouring this land! We must unite and share resources!...
...The first step is to read the little red booklets being distributed in your area...
This is beginning to sound familiar...

 

Here you may observe a bored college student.
She is a consumer. She is a representation of all that is evil in the world. She is a CAPITALIST.
Thank you.

 

Mr. President, there are 4 billion people outside who are protesting the war with Iraq. What should we do?
Eh, only four billion? That's like a focus group or something.
...Sir, its more than 2/3 the world's population.
So?

 

I'm so stressed. I'm having a nervous breakdown.
Oooh. Third time this week!
I get the feeling you find my suffering amusing.

 

Why do you hate me?
You're a blood-thirsty murderer.
Thank you for your comprehensive and well-reasoned response.
Back, evil one.

 

The hand puppet will now represent the German people at the close of the first world war and the blue squiggle will represent the European Allies.
Well, I guess you win. I go back home now and leave you alone.
No. You must suffer. Revenge. Revenge.
Your terms are overly harsh. I lost. Is that not enough? Where is the love?
There is no love scum. Pay or die. I will now take all your possessions, industry, money, and other sources of income for myself. I hope you starve to death.
After a while...Those Allies sure got their revenge. All 13 million lives of it.
You have oppressed me long enough. I starve, I suffer, I am penniless. Now it is I who seek revenge. Suffer. Die.
Oops.

 

For today, the cow is Osama bin Laden. No comments please.
...And in the US, the President says he is focused on the Iraq problem...
Yes!
Yes my precioussss...We're safess from the nasty Bushesss...

 

The Liberal-Democratic party need to win the next election, but Bush has all the rich on his side. All we need is more fucking.
I meant funding! More funding!
Well, either way...
I can give you more than enough of both...

 

I wonder what would happen if I didn't believe I existed? Would I just--
Oh, ha ha ha. Very cute. Now I hate you.

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