All comics by AssClown

 

by AssClown
7-13-02
I'm a minority.
Me too.
Let's pretend like everyone owes us something.
Great idea.

 

by AssClown
7-13-02
I am bling blangin up in this bitch.
You're 12.
NIGGA PUHLEASE!
.....
That nigguh be bling blangin on the wall over there.

 

by AssClown
7-13-02
Dough and Ashley
Looks like I've eaten 27 hamburgers....
Not suprising.
...and a small dog....
Ugh...
...and a truck.
Oh jesus.

 

by AssClown
7-13-02
Dough and Ashley
Looks like I've eaten 27 hamburgers....
Not suprising.
...and a small dog....
Ugh...
...and a truck.
Oh jesus.

 

by AssClown
7-13-02
I have one ear.
Tragedy.
No. Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you have one ear.
Comedy is when I set you on fire.

 

by AssClown
7-13-02
That wasn't very nice of you.
What?
Doing what you did.
What did I do?
That thing!
I'm going to eat your face with a fork.

 

by AssClown
7-13-02
I'm quitting my job.
Why?
The peircing I got? Well, they don't allow it. The nazis.
Why?
I just told you, Gordon.
Why?

 

by AssClown
7-13-02
Stupid Romans. Can't even nail somone to wood tight enough. I'M SLIPPING YOU IMBECILES!
How embarrassing. 33 years of virginity.
I swear, if I weren't nailed down I'd think about beating off right now.
What the fuck are you staring at pal?

 

by AssClown
7-13-02
My new job will not be sitting in your blank panels Gordon. Bye.

 

by AssClown
7-13-02
Coming this fall to Fox! RUTHLESS ANIMAL KUMITE!
....
...
...
...
What the hell? I'm just a squirrel.

 

by AssClown
7-13-02
Howdy
...
???
Nice outfit. Roping cattle today?
No.
Then fuck off.

 

by AssClown
7-13-02
I'm not a goose, and I have a fully attached head.
....
That makes me better, you idiot.

 

by AssClown
7-13-02
What they're thinking....
I am so in love with him.
What we think they're thinking....
I'm so ready to get out of this relationship.
What we want them to think.....
" "

 

by AssClown
7-13-02
Gordon attempts to make it right.
Look Shellie, I know that I sometimes show how insecure I am. And I'm sorry, really.
Notice how he emphasizes words alot?
But you must understand, I'm a guy. A very lucky guy. With a very awesome girl whom he loves very very much.
Failure.
Please accept this poorly oppressed Mexican immigrant as a token of such a love.

 

by AssClown
7-13-02
My male cats are gay.
Oh yeah?
They lick each other, and don't pay attention the female.
Hmmm...
I know what you're thinking, and the answer is "No, we will not be making movies."
Damn.

 

by AssClown
7-13-02
Whenever someone is singing a good song badly, I like to ask them who sings it. And then when they tell me I go "WELL WHY DON'T YOU LET THEM?!"
Yeah...soo....
You get hit in the face a lot, don't you?

 

by AssClown
7-13-02
Oh shit...my nuts itch.

 

by AssClown
7-14-02
[remark about incredible sexual ability]
[modest disbelief]
[reassuring rebuttle]
[reluctant acceptance of truth]
Sex
[noises of copulation]
[fap fap fap]

 

by AssClown
7-14-02
Hey Pip
Hey John
...
Your ass is glued to that stool again, isn't it?
-sigh-

 

by AssClown
7-14-02
I got you a present.
I know. I saw it.
Well aren't you going to play with it?
It's a box. An empty box.
All squirrels like empty boxes.
Get an empty squirrel.

 

by AssClown
8-09-02
So...No sex?
I'm sick Gordon. So, no. No sex.
Damn...
Sorry babe.
Hmmm....
And stay the hell away from my pets.

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