All comics by BigEvilDan

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by BigEvilDan
1-07-01
The quest for the world's funniest comic...
Don't comics usually have dialog?
They usually make sense, too.

 

by BigEvilDan
1-07-01
Oh my god! It's my exact double!
I'm not really that boring, am I?

 

by BigEvilDan
1-07-01
The quest for the world's funniest comic continues...
It seems our readers didn't respond to the "dog on ball" in the last strip.
So?
I'm afraid we're going to have to remove you from this comic.
But..!
God, I hope that makes this strip funny...

 

by BigEvilDan
1-08-01
Step 1 - Add two completely unrelated characters.
I'm a hideous freak!
I'm Jesus!
Step 2 - Use at least two of the following words: sex, gay, ass, shit, bastard.
Gay. Ass.
Bastard. Sex.
Step 3 - Make sure the last panel has nothing to do with the previous two.
I like chicken.

 

by BigEvilDan
1-08-01
Tip 1 - Grammar, spelling and capital letters are your enemy. Avoid them at all costs.
hello yuo hot ladie
ph3ar my l33t skills!
Tip 2 - If a male and female character are in the same panel, they should have sex.
lets have hot sex
okay
Tip 3 - The sex thing applies for just about any two characters.
Crap!

 

by BigEvilDan
1-08-01
There's too many comics on this site that are just bad sexual references and not the least bit funny.
I'm not going to allow this comic turn into another grab for votes by using sex.
Sex! Sex! SEXXXXX!!!!
You know, I should smite you for that...

 

by BigEvilDan
1-08-01
Robot, I'm afraid you are obsolete, and must be scrapped.
I know it doesn't seem fair, but I'm sure you will find a way to deal with this.
Well, he did find a way...

 

by BigEvilDan
1-08-01
...so then the dog on ball says to Jesus "ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US". That's it.
And nobody laughed at this comic, you say...
Any idea on how I can improve my comics?
Just one...
You sure this will work?
Either that or kill you, so it's a win/win situation.

 

by BigEvilDan
1-08-01
It appears that my "Making a Lowpass Strip In Three Easy Steps" has been bumped from first by multiple qwert comics...
While I could hammer a nail into my head to relieve the pain, I won't.
But there's other ways to vent my frustration...
MUST...KILL...QWERT!

 

by BigEvilDan
1-08-01
Branded as an outcast after the nailgun incident, Timmy's only friend was that old hammer.
I love you...

 

by BigEvilDan
1-08-01
At last, my evil robot is complete! What do you have to say, oh creation?
PIKA!
Hmm...this may be a bit *too* evil, even for me...
PIKA PIKA! CHU!

 

by BigEvilDan
1-09-01
The curse of writer's block

 

by BigEvilDan
1-09-01
An interview with Jesus
So, Jesus, what made you want to appear in these Lowpass comics?
Well, with today's media-obsessed youth, I thought it would be a great way to spread my message of compassion.
Although that would be easier if I wasn't swearing or having sex in every comic...

 

by BigEvilDan
1-09-01
An interview with the Ball Dog
So, how does it feel being the least popular of the Strip Creator's characters?
I'm not the least popular! I have leigons of Dog on Ball fans!!
I do...really...

 

by BigEvilDan
1-09-01
Interview with the Exploding Dog Stick Man
Do you have anything to say to Stick Man fans out there?
Yes. As people have noticed, I am the most poseable character at Lowpass, so I have just one question...
Why am I always in the "nail in head" pose. Do you have any idea how much that @#$%ing hurts?

 

by BigEvilDan
1-10-01
Interview with that wierd 3 Reasons Feet-for-Ears Thing
Mr. Ears, are you enjoying your stay at Lowpass?
i ownz j00! sex with jebus!
Umm..okay. Do you have any favourite artists or strips?
fart boobies fart!!
I, um, see. Have you written any strips yourself?
I've written about 15-20 strips, Helmut. And please, just call me Feet.

 

by BigEvilDan
1-10-01
Interview with Asian Girl 2
A lot of people claim you are only in comics because you are the default character. How do you respond to this?
That claim is absolute nonsense, Mr. Helmut.
Everyone knows that there are no other characters besides that other girl and myself! Say, where is she anyway?

 

by BigEvilDan
1-10-01
A group interview with the Diesel Sweeties cast
What made you decide to make the jump from Diesel Sweeties to Lowpass?
Well, we've each faced the prejudice of being pixellated...
So we thought we could bridge the gap by appearing in such 'high-res' comics like this.
AND IF THAT FAILS, WE SHALL EXTERMINATE THE HIGH-RESOLUTION FLESHBAGS!!
We've discussed this, Red Robot. No exterminations!!

 

by BigEvilDan
1-10-01
They say that ignorance is bliss.
But if that were true...
Why do idiots piss me off so much?

 

by BigEvilDan
1-13-01
I watched one of those Reality Television shows last night.
Neat.
It had people dealing with critical situations. It had action, tragedy, suspense and everything. A real human struggle.
What was it called?
The news.

 

by BigEvilDan
1-13-01
Oh boy! Voting is back up on Lowpass.net! I've got to try out this new system...
Okay...guy with nail in head, -5. Jesus asking for sex, -5. Dog on ball talks about his private parts, -5. Bad Ally McBeal joke, -5...
You know, without the cheating, there just doesn't seem to be a point...

 

by BigEvilDan
1-15-01
Interview with the brand-new characters from Goats
So, how does it feel to be here at Lowpass?
All these Jesus strips are offensive to my Satanist beliefs.
I finally get a Goats storyline that involves dating a stable, beautiful woman, and then I get pulled into here! It's not FAIR!!
Where did that pixellated chick go?
Pudding, anyone?

 

by BigEvilDan
1-16-01
We'd like to step out of character for a moment to address a matter of importance.
Many people seem to think that, because we have the same name, we are the same girl.
This is clearly not true. Her head is slightly bigger, and she has a different hairstyle.
...and I don't wear those ugly clothes, plus the fact that I clearly have shoulders.
*sigh* Now I remember why I hate being mistaken for you so much.
...and since you brought it up before, we do have different hairstyles..only mine is better. And believe it or not, my mouth opens! It's nice to not mumble like you do....

 

by BigEvilDan
1-16-01
What exactly were you expecting?
It sure is hot in this desert.
Yes, I'm very hot. I could use a drink of water.

 

What? Are we not naked enough for you?
by BigEvilDan, 1-17-01

 

by BigEvilDan
1-18-01
I'm going to do it, Jon. I'm going to cross the road.
But why? Why must you risk your life by crossing this road, chicken?
Like it or not, there is only one way to get to the other side...and I must take it.
Goodbye, chicken. I will miss you...*sniff*
Do you think we overacted that comic a bit? I'd hate to think we were messing up a classic.
Nah, seems pretty natural to me...

 

by BigEvilDan
1-18-01
So, Big Evil Dan, what was the response to the "Remaking a classic" strip?
Well, Diablo, there were many opinions. Maura said that she liked the original better.
What!? The old one is so dry and cliche! I thought the used car dealership in the background was a powerful metaphor for life. What other comments were there?
Well, the dog on the ball says "Woof!", and Inde Rock Pete claims that you are a "sellout".
Sellout? I got paid in chicken feed! He's just jealous.
On the bright side, the cowboy is stalking you, so you have at least one fan...

 

by BigEvilDan
1-18-01
Interview with the props
So, do you see certain Lowpass strips as metaphors for life, love and hate?
Today on the six o'clock news: Props can't talk, dumbass!

 

by BigEvilDan
1-19-01
So naturally, after the success of "Why Did the Chicken..", you made a sequel. Was it harder than working on the original?
Well there were a few script problems, but I'd have to say we pulled through. This clip is my favourite scene in the movie.
Scene from "Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road II: Heavy Traffic"
Why? *sniff* Why did you leave me, Diablo?
Jon, I'm not dead! I'm just over here across the street!
You do realize that is utter crap, right?
Probably why the movie only sold four tickets...

 

by BigEvilDan
1-20-01
Jon and Diablo blamed each other for the "Road" sequel's failure, and each went their seperate ways.
I hate you and I'm leaving!
You know, I should've eaten you when I had the chance!!
Diablo's first and only project was the action film "How Many Chickens Does It Take To Change A Lightbulb?", which was dismissed as being too cliche...
Hurry and change that lightbulb, before it's too late!
While Jon's horror flick "Knock Knock" went down in history as the worst film ever made...and thus retained a huge cult following.
Who.....who's there?
A psychopath! Now let me in so I can kill you!

 

by BigEvilDan
1-23-01
A life of failure comes to an end for Diablo...
Diablo, due to your crimes in life, you are doomed to an eternity in Bad Actor's Hell!!
W-w-what are you going to do to me?
You will be forced to play one of the most annoying, degrading roles imaginable.
You don't mean....
"That's right, Diablo. The Lowpass Jesus!"
Hi, I'm here to take over for you.
Finally! You wouldn't believe the lines I'm forced to read....

 

by BigEvilDan
1-28-01
I was thinking about something the other day...
Really? What?
If Diablo is doomed to be the Lowpass Jesus for making those crappy films you were in as well, what happens when you die?
Oh my god, you're right! I should just stand right here, so nothing can hurt me. Can't be punished if I'm not de--what's that noise?
Seems it was someone tossing a pile of your old films out the window.
*urk* Damn irony.

 

by BigEvilDan
1-28-01
Well, now that you're dead, I'm afraid you must be punished with a cheesy Lowpass role.
Please not the cowboy...please not the cowboy....
Now if you'd been the star of those films, you'd get a real tough position like the cowboy, but as a co-star, you simply get to take my place.
Yes! I can live with that!
Alright then. Take this pitchfork and go harass your best friend Diab--er, I mean Jesus.
Wait. This is that irony thing again, isn't it? I'm really beginning to hate my afterlife.

 

by BigEvilDan
1-31-01
Hmmm...crazy background, weird looking creature, meaningless dialouge...aw man, not another acid-trip strip.
That's right! And all your base are belong to us!
So what horrifying visions await me here?
You shall see. ph3ar the monkey!!
NO! NO! NOOOO!!!
And now the world television premiere of "Dude, Where's My Pants?"

 

by BigEvilDan
1-31-01
I'm here to prove that you don't need to be asian to be a killer martial artist! Now fight me!
Come on! Fight back!
Why won't you accept my challenge?
I'm trying to to prove that you don't need to be a killer martial artist to be asian.

 

by BigEvilDan
1-31-01
First Rule of Fight Club: You do not talk about Fight Club. Second Rule of Fight Club--
Wait a second!
What?
You just talked about...that thing. You know, the F-Club. You aren't allowed to talk about it.
But...I mean...you can't...okay, you're first to fight. Just let me get my lead pipe.
Just forget I said anything.

 

by BigEvilDan
1-31-01
Welcome to a strip beyond your imagination...
It is a place where reality has no meaning...
Where logic has no rule...
Where order has no existence...
Actually it's quite logical. Dan just took the first character from each group and the first three backgrounds.
Shut up! You're ruining the mood!

 

by BigEvilDan
1-31-01
Dr. Badniks lab. A home to evil. It has spawned such evil creations as the radioactive mutant Fishnor....
GrahHHGGggAAR!!!
The sinister cyborg Gabebot-9000....
if (target==person) { gabebot.kill; }...
And worst of all, seven crappy Lowpass Jesus strips....
I need sex...

 

by BigEvilDan
1-31-01
Interview with Holly
So, Holly, why do you think the strip authors will use you in their comics?
Well my size, my outfit and my personality make me a great character for any strip. I'm like an asian girl, but cuter.
Oh, and I have this pose....

 

by BigEvilDan
1-31-01
Interview with the Ko Fight Club penguin
Now Penguin, do you...er...what do you think of....
Damn. Does this character even need a punchline?
Not really.

 

by BigEvilDan
1-31-01
Interview with Donkey
So, tell us a bit about yourself, Donkey.
Why bother, Helmut? We've been woking together since the start of When I Grow Up. You already know everything.
I'm not Helmut. I'm the Lowpass interview guy and we've never met before.
That doesn't make any sense. How come you can interview the Goats characters as if they were from their old strip, but you yourself deny ever being on WIGU?
If this is the most nonsensical thing you see on this site today, consider yourself lucky.
True. At least all my base are not belong to you...

 

by BigEvilDan
1-31-01
What are you doing?
I'm attempting to remove the border of this frame.
Why, exactly?
So we can have a big one panel comic...
So you'd prefer one big pointless panel to three smaller pointless panels?
When you put it that way, it does seem kind of a waste of time.

 

by BigEvilDan
1-31-01
Oof!
Ow!
This wouldn't be so embarassing if she was actually making contact...

 

by BigEvilDan
2-01-01
Geez, Dan, you look really stressed out.
Yeah I know. Midterms are coming up, I'm looking for a job...I've got too much to do.
You've got to prioritize then. What's the most important thing on that list?
You're right. I know exactly what I need to do.
So, there's these new Ko Fight Club characters on Lowpass. How can I use them in a strip....?

 

by BigEvilDan
2-01-01
I'd like to hire you to sue the media for corrupting my little Jimmy.
Let me guess, he commited a violent act after viewing a movie or TV show...
Well, it wasn't a TV show, exactly...
Dude, you sure this is going to work?
Don't worry. I've seen it done hundreds of times on that Lowpass site. Later we can nail you to a cross like that Jesus dude.

 

by BigEvilDan
2-03-01
Die puny humans! You planet is ours!
YOU SHALL BE ELIMINATED, FLESHLINGS!!
Whoa, hold on. You can't destroy this planet. We hated it first.
I AM PROGRAMMED TO DESTROY HUMANS. I MUST THEREFORE DESTROY THE HUMANS.
FLIP A COIN FOR THE PLANET, THEN?

 

by BigEvilDan
2-03-01
Captain Obvious bravely patrols the streets...
You're Asian!
Thank you Captain Obvious!
You probably don't like being nailed to a cross.
Good job, Captain Obvious!
You...you...what the hell are you supposed to be?
Bwhahaha! Your powers are useless against me, Captain Obvious! I shall defeat you...

 

by BigEvilDan
2-04-01
Look, I'm sorry we swiched punishments. I had no idea you were so intent on keeping us in our assigned jobs.
Now if we could just forget this happened, I'll get back to being in the source of all evil...
What do you mean you filled our old positions? We've been gone for five minutes!
So what *are* we doing, then?
Stop complaining, Jon, and look on the bright side.
There's a bright side to fart jokes?

 

by BigEvilDan
2-04-01
Before we start, I should warn you about something.
I'm not a female penguin. I'm actually a male chicken playing a female penguin as punishment for my entertainment sins.
So? Do you think that, if I'm hiring a penguin whore, I can afford to have standards?
That's exactly what I was afraid of...

 

by BigEvilDan
2-05-01
Well, we finally made it into the enemy bunker.
It was a long, terrible fight, but we've now won the right to shout...
ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!
Aren't you supposed to shout something fear inspiring?

Showing page 1.

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