All comics by Bile

Profile

 

by Bile
8-29-02
I have a problem, Jesus. My faith in the Lord has dwindled lately, seeing as how I lost my job, my girlfriend dumped me, and I was castrated in a parking lot with a crumpled Fresca can. Any advice?
That's wonderful! One time I wiped my ass with the Shroud of Turan. Nachos, he-he.
....
?
When was the last time you had a cat-scan?

 

by Bile
8-29-02
Bwahaha! Welcome to the end of of your life, and I promise it's going to hurt!
dah-na-na-na, dahnana!
That's right, I'm your worst nightmare! Prepare to.. meet your fate.. by my cold aluminum ...are you even listening to me?
supa, supa-schnazzy! uga buga chow chomp!
You smell like curdled yogurt.

 

by Bile
8-29-02
I am Nerfling, from the Plaxin quadrant of your galaxy. I'm on a mission to enslave the human species!
Succumb to my hideous appearance, tremble in fear at the sound of my extra-terrestrial squirks and whistling noises.. I command you, Earthling!
...
So.. you wanna make some money?

 

by Bile
8-29-02
Hey man, how are ya?
Same shit, different day.. you know how it is.
Of course I know how it is. I'm your reflection, dumbass.
...
Who the fuck asked you anyways!?

 

by Bile
8-30-02
Say Chad, what's that you've got there?
It's a letter I just received today from my family in St. Louis
Really? What's it say man?
My God.. apparently my mother was thrown through the plate glass elevator wall at the top of the St. Louis Arch, and landed on a thumb tack 600 feet below. She's.. she's dead.
Oh c'mon now, try and look on the bright side. At least prostitution in St. Louis will decline roughly 94% now that she's pushing up daisies.
...I hate you.

 

by Bile
8-30-02
Have you seen any young delicious little boys running around here?
Have you looked in the mirror and asked yourself that same question lately?

 

?
by Bile
8-30-02
Shut the fuck up.

 

by Bile
9-02-02
Well, here we are again.
Yeah. So, how'd ya' sleep?
Alright I suppose, and yourself?
...How stupid *are* you?

 

by Bile
9-02-02
Well, I did murder the guy.. maybe I should bag his ashes?
It would be the polite thing to do, after all.
Ahh fuck it, I'll just set him on fire again.

 

by Bile
9-02-02
*sigh* I sure do wish Chad was around. I miss him, and TV blows rabid dalmations.
MTV News: You hear it.. *dah-na-na na-nuh-nuh-nuh-nana!* ..first.
Welcome back to TRL! I'm Carson Daly and have we got a show for you! N'Sync will be performing *LIVE*, for your viewing pleasure!
God help me.
BYE BYE BYE!

 

by Bile
9-02-02
Maybe HBO will prove to be more effective at keeping me entertained until Chad shows up..
It's Russell Simmon's Def Comedy Jam, starring Martin Lawrence, and all those other black guys!
Maybe VH1?
Welcome to another edition of Behind The Music! Today we'll be taking a more revealing look into the depths of the B-52's rough experiences throughout their rise to fame, and then.. it's FACTOID!
SON OF A BITCH!

 

by Bile
9-02-02
Finally, something decent!
Now it's time for Cinemax: Late Night Passions.. mmm.
What the fuck!?
You're in my way you god damn idiot!

 

by Bile
9-02-02
Fuck, my balls itch.

 

by Bile
9-03-02
ooo i pway to ewe mai fodda
uhh..
dew thou noza heara meh? I pway to ewe!
I heard you, but I simply don't comprehend what in the name of God you're talking about.
I rarf whew!
Do you even know that you're an oriental owl wearing a maroon tuxedo?

 

by Bile
9-03-02
Our hero sets out on his quest of revenge.. what's in store for him, remains to be seen.
Now, after years of waiting, I will finally have my revenge. The time has come at last!
God damn, Prodigy kicks ass.
But wait, our hero is having doubts about his noble mission!
Ya' know, I just considered what it would be like for him if I were to stab him to death.. I almost feel sorry for him. In fact, I don't know if I want to do this anymore..
I could really use some crystal meth and a *brisk* Peppermint Schnapps!
Regardless, his resolve is once again solidifed by the victim's hideous personality.
Did you just say "peppermint"? BANANA RAPE MY SEVERED TOILET PAPER STEAK! ANNIHILATE! KILL! KILL! KILL!

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