All comics by Bismont_lord_of_doom

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blahblahblah Evil blahblahblah I shall conqour the world blahblahblah Ultamit power blah.
Are you even listening to me?
I like puppies...

 

Look, Froog, if you're going to be my evil minion, you have to pay ATTENTION to my evil rants!
Puppies are cute...
Kitties are cute too....
That constitutes acknowlidging my presence.
But puppies give you kisses...

 

Froogle... Froogle... FROOGLE!!!!
Sheesh, you don't have to shout.
"Become a super villian" mom said. "They get a great salary" she said.
So where are we anyway?

 

Okay, I'll say it AGAIN. We're in a swirling vortex of evil, soon to become my evil base.
You, Froogle, are now in the service of me, Jax, as my evil lacky. Got it?
Yeah. Except the first part. And the last part. And the part in between.

 

So, which do you like better- flood California, or cause earthquakes in Texas?
I like pie.
Focus, dammit!
Mmm... pie...

 

We join Jax taking a leisurely stroll.
**Whistle**
!!!
The plot thickins...
Jesus Christ!
That's my name, don't wear it out!

 

Might I ask what the HELL you're doin' down here?
It's my day off.
Wouldn't it be more comfortable if you weren't crusified?
Yeah, but this site doesn't have clip art for that.
Really, they don't. I think.
I see...
You get used to it after awhile.

 

Jax talks with Jesus on his day off.
Wait- if I'm a demon, and you're the ultamit good, shouldn't we fight or something?
Maybe, but you can't do that in these comics.
Don't worry, I've come to terms with it.
Hmm, you have a point.
You bet I do.
I like chocolate-vanilla swirl.
So... you like ice cream?
Yeah, with sprinkles.

 

Back at the swirling vortex nexus of evil lair-type place thingy...
So you had ICE CREAM with JESUS CHRIST?!?
Yep.
Man, that was a mouthfull.
...
It was good, too.
Isn't that couter-intuitive to your evil objectives?
Hey, since when do you know what those words mean? You're an idiot in the OTHER comics.

 

Somewhere in Jax's evil lair...
Alright, Froogle, I've come up with a sure-fire way to dominate the universe!!! Muahahahaha!!!
Cool.
Now, all we have to do is get over to my orbital evil laboroatory.
Your what?
Now, down to buisness.
Huh? How'd we get here?

 

ANd now, for Jax's evil plan.
Alright, here's my evil plan.
To take over the world?
Yeah, to take over the world. Well, actually the universe.
Ooh, the universe.
Or not.
Yeah, the universe.
Coooooooooool.

 

Several hours after the time frame of the last comic...
YEAH, THE FRICKIN' UNIVERSE!!! NOW SHUT UO SO I CAN TELL YOU MY PLAN!!
Okee-doky.
Now, it's kinda complex, so pay close attention.
Got it.
No comment.
I'm gonna threaten world leaders with a doomsday device.
Wow, that's DEEP.

 

Okay, now go set up the doomsday device. I have a press release.
You got it, boss.
*Ahem*
Greetings, citizins of the World- and Beverly Hills...
Ooh, what's this thingy do?

 

Now behold, as I unleash the fury of my doomsday device. Froogle! Fire the device at the moon! BWAHAHAHA!!!
Wha? Froogle, fire the device?
Umm...
Raise your hand if you didn't see this coming.
No good- err- evil can come of this.
Well, there's this thing that's... hehheh... umm.... *Gulp*.

 

Investigating the doomsday device's malfunction...
Why isn't the doomsday device firing?
Well, I couldn't find the power source.
What do you mean? It was right next to the big red button!
I didn't see it...
It was frickin GLOWING! How could you not see it?!?
Glowing...?

 

Jax is looking for the power source of his doomsday device...
Y'know, the glowing green round thing?
Oh, that. I though it was a doughnut, so I ate it.
You ATE his device's power source?!?
You ATE my device's power source?!?
Yup.
Ooh, that's not gonna be good for his digestive system...
I hate you so much right now.
I know, I love you too, buddy.

 

We're still waiting to see this doomsday device, mr. Jax.
That WOULD be great if Froogle hadn't eatin it's power source.
DAMN you, Froogle!

 

After the failure of his plan (mostly due to the stupidity of his minion), Jax has set up a temporary base camp in the desert...
Now come along, Froog. I've found an oil reserve we can aquire. And by "aquire, I mean "steal."
Halt, vile villian! In the naaaaaaaaame of the laaaaaaw!
You gotta be kidding me.

 

We join our... villian confronting a rather... odd cowboy...
I am cowboy Bopbee, defender of the weak, protecter of the freeeeeeeeee!!
Okayyyy...
Now, I comand you to halt!
Oh yeah, and what if I do this?
Ooooooh, pyrotechnics.
Ahh!
HALAGABOOM!!

 

We join Jax & Froogle after Jax has barbecued cowboy Bopbee...
Oooh...
Hey, Jax, how'd you do that thing with the fire and the burning?
Well, it probably has something to do with me being a demon.
Ahh.

 

We join Jax & Froogle at Jax's evil lair...
Hey Froogle.
What?
HALAGABOOM!!!
YEOUCH!!
Mm, toasty.
Why, you ask? ...because I can.
This is even more painful than it looks.

 

Okay. I re-built the power supply, and this time, I'LL intall it.
Okay.
Now while I do that, you look up the number for the most powerful man in the US...
The President?
No, the Guvonator.

 

Do you have the Guvonator on the line.
Yep!
Excellent.
Attention, muscle-bound political official. I have threats to make!
DUN DUN DUN!

 

Zis is da Govunator. Vat cahn I do foh yoo?
Give me total control of Beverly Hills or I'll destroy you with my convieniently operational doomsday device!
Okaey.
What, just like that?
Yah.
Dang, and I spent all night coming up with threats too...

 

Okay, now hardwire me into all Beverly Hills TV stations.
Okey-dokey!
*Ahem* Attention citizens of Beverly Hills...
'Que passa?
FROOGLE!!!

 

After contacting the CORRECT number...
*Ahem*
Attention, citizens of Beverly Hils...
I PWN YOU!!1!1!

 

Wait, that didn't come out right. Let me try again.
*Ahem*
ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US! ...D'oh!

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