All comics by CrustyJones

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by CrustyJones
2-07-03
Meanwhile.
I have taken over the universe!
Oh?
Later.
Yes I will make it into food.
Then.
And then I will eat it.
You're such a cunt.

 

by CrustyJones
2-07-03
Tuesday
So, yeah I was walking down this road and this guy walks up to me...
Uh, yeah.
.5 seconds later.
And he was all "oh you're the son of God" and shit....
Then what did you do?
.5 seconds later.
Turned him in to wine.
You're such a cunt.

 

by CrustyJones
2-07-03
Here
So you want a job?
Yes I do.
There
What are your qualifications?
I am prince of darkness.
Nowhere.
You wont be getting the job.
You're such a cunt

 

by CrustyJones
2-08-03
Hey Satan, so why do you keep calling people cunts?
Well, it's a long story.
Son, I want you to know that I think you're a cunt.
Cunt?
So that's how it happened!
You're such a cunt.

 

by CrustyJones
2-08-03
Hi is Satan in?
Yes! But I think he is having a dump! Ah HAH! AHAHAHAHAHAH!
Can you get him?
Hold on.
You're not Satan!
Fuck off!

 

by CrustyJones
2-08-03
I'm going out to buy some milk.
But you're allergic, maaan.
So?
Wait! Don't go!
Cunt.

 

by CrustyJones
2-08-03
Please?
I'm not touching it and that's final!

 

by CrustyJones
2-08-03
Told you we should have gone more easy on the poison.

 

by CrustyJones
2-09-03
Earlier.
Hey, wouldn't it be funny if I called people fags and mentioned rape and racist shit in my comics?
Yes, yes it would. But if anyone else did it it would be unfunny because it just would be.
Earlier.
I think I might rip off someone elses joke too and use that!
Great! but call anyone trying to be original cunts because otherwise it will make you look like a humourless twat with no sense of humour of your own.
I don't know why you're reading this it doesn't have any effect on the joke.
So i'm finished! Shall we go to the forums and mock anyone whos jokes don't resemble our own?
Yes. Yes we shall, and after that we shall do the dishes our parents have been nagging us to do.

 

by CrustyJones
2-09-03
Uh, guys?
Guys!
Being the son of God rules!

 

by CrustyJones
2-09-03
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by CrustyJones
2-09-03
So I can't make a point or offer criticism, what should I do?
Why don't you offer up a crap joke and claim it is "ideal"?
Well, I might just do that, you have a nice bum.
Fuck off!
I have seen the light!

 

by CrustyJones
2-09-03

 

by CrustyJones
2-09-03
Hi! Can I get you a drink?
Oh come on! Just one drink, I don't bite!
Fucking whore.

 

by CrustyJones
2-09-03
Great star! What would your happiness be, if you had not those to whom you shine!
Like you I must go down- as men, to whom I want to descend, call it.
Could it be possible! This old saint has not yet heard in his forest that God is dead!

 

by CrustyJones
2-10-03
Can you pass the salt please?
Why certainly!
Can you scrub me back please?
Well, uh, yeah.
Can you massage my toes please?
LIVING WITH YOU IS LIKE LIVING IN A LIVING NIGHTMARE!

 

by CrustyJones
6-24-03
Yesterday
HELLO SATAN YOU HAVE RETURNED!
Indeed I have, friend, and I feel much better about myself too.
All my troubles seemed so far away
No more persecution complex?
No.
duh dun-dun-dun-dun here to stay
OW!
And I can also turn people into skeletons which isn't all that funny for anyone but me.

 

by CrustyJones
6-24-03
Today
Hey satan me love you long time!
Hey baby you want some action?
Today
Oh baby you make me so horny.
What do you think of this monster?
Today
You couldn't please a polo mint with that thing.
I am upset.

 

by CrustyJones
6-24-03
This is my worst trip yet.

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