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| Okay, so my sister was drunk and on crack when she transformed me. | |
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| Now I have to go through life as a Christmas elf. | |
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| All my friends are gonna laugh their arses off when they see me. | |
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| And I have a strange compulsion to make lots of little toys for good children. Could my life get any worse?? | |
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| Wade, some guy named "Big Vinnie" just called for you. Said you owe him money, and now he's sending hired goons to break yer thumbs. | |
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