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| Hello sir and welcome to Sporks. Would you like to try our new Tofu sloppy joes? | |
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| Hmm, no thanks. Got any BLT's? | |
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| Bean sprouts, Lettuce, Tofu. Yes sir, would you like that as a combo meal? | |
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| Tofu? TOFU?! Look at me! I'm fucking BACON. I can't be replaced by some bean curd turd! | |
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| I'm sorry sir but we don't sell or make meat products here. This is a meat-free restaurant. | |
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| MEAT FREE? OH YEAH? WHAT AM I THEN? A FUCKING FIGMENT OF YOUR IMAGINATION? HOW ABOUT I GO BACK THERE AND TOUCH EVERYTHING? RUB MY DELICIOUS BODY JUICES ALL OVER YOUR GOD DAMNED FOOD! | |
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