All comics by DrMorton

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by DrMorton
5-12-07
Something funny happened on the way to the apocalypse ...
Grrr! I´m the Bacon of Doom! Repent!
F**king freak!
That was rude! Sobb!
But entirely appropriate ...
There may be a moral to this story.
Yeah, don´t read other people´s minds ...

 

by DrMorton
5-12-07
As the apocalypse goes forth ...
Repent ye sinners!
Oh no! Another one!
God will punish thee for thy sins!
On second thought, maybe he won´t ...

 

by DrMorton
5-12-07
Things heat up for the damned souls ...
This hurts!
It does. Like hell.

 

by DrMorton
5-12-07
An unusual display of plot continuity ...
Hick!
Hick! Hick!
Now I´ve seen everything ...

 

by DrMorton
5-12-07
The bacon subplot thickens.
Grrr! I´m the Bacon of Doom! Repent!
Grrr!
Really? Then I am the Bacon Burger Fry Cook of Doom! What do you intend to do now?
Uhm, let´s see ... In that case I´ll have the veggie burger meal. Medium. With coke.
To go, I assume ...

 

by DrMorton
5-12-07
Ooooh! Shiny! It´s 666.6.
Grrr! I´m here to invoke Armageddon! Immanentize the Eschaton!! Initialize the End of Days!!!
Way cool, dude! Wanna hang out tonight?
Uhm, I don´t think we´ll be finished so soon. For we are the harvesters of souls. And there´s too many souls out there, all ripe and rotten at the same time.
Gardening sucks.

 

by DrMorton
5-12-07
For those who did not realize yet ...
No, really. It is.
He´s right, you know.

 

by DrMorton
5-12-07
Hmm, should I dare and try once more ... ?
Grrr! I am the Bacon of Doom! Repent!
That´s very nice of you, young man, but I´d rather keep on sinning. Thank you very much!
Aaargh! I think I´m going to fry myself!

 

by DrMorton
5-12-07
Meanwhile in hell´s own screening room ... ...
This apocalypse is no revelation to me. I don´t buy the story. In fact, there is no storyline at all. It´s all random nonsense!
Yes, and the characters come and go. Who is this about? Also the visual effects are all lame. We´ve seen better. Is this some Jerry Bruckheimer crap? They should have let Peter Jackson handle it!
The book was a lot better. At least that John the Revelator guy knew how to build up suspense and throw in some real action. BOOOORING!
The Bacon character is even more annoying than Jar Jar Binks! And that Devil guy is shorter than Tom Cruise!
I hate those wisecracking critics!

 

by DrMorton
5-13-07
He was bound to turn up sooner or later.
Grrr! I´m the Grim Reaper! I´ve come to take you all!
What is it with you apocalypse people going "grrr!" all the time? It´s a bit childish, you know. Not scary at all ...
Uhm ...
Grrrr?
Oh boy !

 

by DrMorton
5-14-07
Games to play for burning souls.
We Didn´t Start the Fire! ... Burning Down the House! ...
Keep the Fire Burning! ... The Unforgettable Fire! ...
I´m on Fire! ... Catch a Fire! ... Fires at Midnight! ... Baby´s on Fire! ...
Heaven´s on Fire! ... Eternal Flame! ... House on Fire! ... Fire on the Water! ...
That was fun.
This still hurts ...

 

by DrMorton
5-15-07
Stealing punchlines from other webcomics Vol. 1
Grrr!
Grrr!
Hick!
I´m really pissed off! Why are there no f**king comments on our strips?
Closest to a ferret there was ...
Because you suck!

 

by DrMorton
5-15-07
Hi, kid! How was your day?
Okay, mom. Met the devil. That was cool.
Good. Finally you´ve found a friend who´s got a job.
He was shorter than I expected. And he is into gardening, obviously.
That´s nice! Me, too. Invite him over! Maybe he could fix the snail problem?
Mom!

 

by DrMorton
5-20-07
Sobb!
What´s your problem, again?
Nobody is willing to repent! I´m useless!
Okay, if it´s that important to you - I will repent! What happens next?
Hmm, I don´t know. Didn´t think it through past the first step ...
Oh, boy!

 

by DrMorton
5-20-07
Mr. President, I strongly advise you to enter our underground security facilities now! It´s the apocalypse, good heavens!
Don´t worry, son. God is on my side.
Aaargh!
He´s all yours.
Always was, old chap, always was ...

 

by DrMorton
5-21-07
Bad jokes, Lord I love them, bad jokes, ... ooh ooh ooh whee!
... and then the horse says: "That´s not my intestines, that´s the pope!"
Hehehe ...
... ahahahaha. Ouch! All that laughing makes my belly ache.
Your belly´s on fire.

 

by DrMorton
5-21-07
Persistent little bastard!
Grrr! I´m the Bacon of Doom! Repent!
Haven´t I heard that one before ...
Grrr!
You have thought that whole repenting thing through to the end, then?
No, but I hoped you might have ...
F**king freak!

 

by DrMorton
5-21-07
Never, never ever do this!
Ok, let´s see, what we´ve got here. Causing nationwide panic, that´s a one thousand dollar fine for you, Sir!
Aaargh! What the hell?
Exactly.

 

by DrMorton
5-22-07
At the eternal bad trailer show.
I still think that devil guy stinks. And he´s really too short for the part.
Will you guys in the front row just shut the fuck up?
Yup. They should´ve cast Kevin Spacey. Or Dirk Nowitzki.
I second that.
They´re like cockroaches. You have to step on them twice. Minimum.

 

by DrMorton
5-22-07
Don´t do this either.
Ok Sir, we might have had a bad start there. Let´s try again. What is your business here?
Grrr! Behold, for we are the harvesters of souls.
You got a licence for that?
Nope.
Aaargh!

 

by DrMorton
5-23-07
What?

 

by DrMorton
5-23-07
Satan meets Sarah Vol. 1
Grrr! Gotta find me some damned souls to burn!
Go, go, Satan!
It is.
Tremble, filthy mortal! FOR MY NAME IS LEGION!
My name is Sarah.
He does!
You smell.

 

by DrMorton
5-23-07
As the sun sets on all of mankind ...
Satan! Satan?!
F**k! I´m lost! Right in the f**king middle of the f**king apocalypse!
Also my headlights don´t work.

 

by DrMorton
5-23-07
A moment of contemplation ...
Think, bacon! Think hard! There has to be a way to pull this off. Okay, so I found a guy who is willing to repent. What could possibly happen after that?
...
Grrr! What are you looking at? Nothing to see here! Can´t a guy have a quiet moment alone?
You can thank god that I´m a vegetarian, dude!

 

by DrMorton
5-23-07
Some smartass readers felt the need to point out that there are no headlights on a bat.
They also said bats don´t need to see in the dark because they navigate by echolocation. - Let me tell you one thing ...
You people know f**k about me!

 

by DrMorton
5-23-07
Pretty Miss, me excuse, this is? Question this is. Help Hieronymus this is.
Wha...at?
Planet earth this is? Apocalypse time this is? Great demon Hieronymus for harvest work apprentice right place this is?
The bacon guy said so ... why?
Then Hieronymus soul and body yours grab this is.
If you grab my soul you will fall on your ass. If you grab anything else falling on your ass will be your least concern.

 

by DrMorton
5-23-07
Satan meets Sarah Vol. 2
How dare you insult the Lord of the Flies himself, filthy little mortal? I will show you what ...
Do the flies like you because you smell?
What the ... ?
Flies like dog poo.
Aaargh!
Also you´re short.

 

by DrMorton
5-24-07
You saw that coming, didn´t you?
Mr. President, there´s fire everywhere! I really urge you ... - Wait! You´re not the President! - You´re Abe Vigoda!
I am not!
Yes, you are!
I am not!
Also I´m not dead.

 

by DrMorton
5-25-07
Meanwhile in the back row.
Hmm, that apocalypse seems to take an eternity. I wonder what´s slowing them down?
Hmm, I can´t decide if I should super-size my veggie burger meal ... Or should I make someone repent first - as an appetizer?
Why always me, Lord, why always me?
I got nothing to do with it, poor girl. When shit happens, it´s just an act of god ... wait no, it isn´t ... I mean not literally. F**k, you know what I mean.

 

by DrMorton
5-25-07
Hey, did I just see Abe Vigoda run out of the office?
You did, Mr. President. He tried to pose as you.
So, how did you know it wasn´t me?
Well, for one thing, he wasn´t on fire.
Also he wasn´t dead.

 

by DrMorton
5-26-07
Satan meets Sarah Vol. 3
Ok, I´ve had it, filthy little mortal! I´m gonna rip your soul out and let it burn for eternity!
I like you. Even if you smell.
Aaargh!
I wanna hug you like a teddybear and then give you a big smooch.
Where did the cute little guy go?

 

by DrMorton
5-26-07
At the "Ye Olde Hell Hole".
I heard they had a great Satan impersonator here.
Behold! For I am the farmer of souls! Which I got no licence for. Also I´m shorter than Tom Cruise.
Bravo! An uncanny resemblance!

 

by DrMorton
5-26-07
C´mon, people. Condemning everybody to eternal agony can´t take that long!
Ok, Sir. You opened a portal to purgatory right in the centre of a towaway zone. That´s gonna cost!
I´ll be damned if I let him pay all those fines from his expenses account.

 

by DrMorton
5-26-07
No translation provided. Also you don´t want to know.
1, 2 - Sauferei!
Dedicated to "The Legendary Film Corporation".
3, 4 - Krügerl Bier!
To be continued ...
5, 6 - obe geht´s!

 

by DrMorton
5-26-07
7, 8 - die ganze Nacht!
9, 10 - speiben gehn!
[The sound of one hand clapping.]
Thank you very much. You´ve been a wonderful audience tonight! Prost!

 

by DrMorton
5-31-07
Uh ... oh! I have been raised from the dead!
This must be the apocalypse then ...
I shouldn´t have paid for my tomb 20 years in advance. I wonder if there´s a refund?

 

by DrMorton
5-31-07
Contemporary poetry night at the "Ye Olde Hell Hole".
Thanks!

 

by DrMorton
6-01-07
Are you the Christ?
What makes you think that, elephant?
I was told the Christ had nails in his body.
I´m working on it. So far I didn´t even manage to get this one fully in.
I´m afraid I won´t be able to hold the hammer once I´ve got nails in my palms ...

 

by DrMorton
6-01-07
Freeze, Tobor! Finally we meet again!
But this time you are at the wrong end of the gun ...
Drop your pants!
BEEP!

 

by DrMorton
6-01-07
Fly, little fish, fly! I have released you from your prison!
Aaargh! Cough! Cough! Water!
He could´ve just said thank you, you know.

 

by DrMorton
6-01-07
Left owl: "Oops! I´m sorry!"
Right owl: "You should be. You promised me you wouldn´t miss the damn squirrel this time!"

 

by DrMorton
6-01-07
Ok, then throw the damn apple! Do ya think I don´t know you hide it behind your back?

 

by DrMorton
6-02-07
June 1st, 2007, 16:57 CET
Hey, what´s up? You look so sad?
I dunno. I got the feeling nothing in my life is working out.
If it isn´t your lucky day. I´m a wishing fairy. I will grant you one wish!
Hmm, I wish you had come earlier in my life ...
June 1st, 2007, 16:56 CET
Hey, what´s up? You look so sad?

 

by DrMorton
6-02-07
Pfff! That was close. Thank god I had enough nails!
CAN I LOOK NOW?
No. You didn´t count to 100.

 

by DrMorton
6-02-07
Mission accomplished?
Yes. I cut the body in half. It should fit into the trunk now.
Great.
That´s $ 10.000 then.
Cut that in half, too.

 

by DrMorton
6-02-07
Hello? I thought I heard the doorbell ring.
No one there. Just another trick of the mind.
Unfortunately I´m just a dumb donkey. So the tricks my mind plays on me are neither elaborate nor funny. Sorry, folks.

 

by DrMorton
6-02-07
C´mon, people! No one?

 

by DrMorton
6-04-07
Have you noticed that in random comic layout modus one out of five layouts seems to feature the plain black background?
I can´t see my feet and hands ...

 

by DrMorton
6-10-07
Could you show me the way to the next whisky bar?
It´s right over there past Uranus. But that´s a bad part of the solar system. What´s your business there?
Oh, don´t ask why.
Could you also show me the way to the next little girl?

 

by DrMorton
6-10-07
Neat! A fresh fish tail!
If only I had a mouth, I could eat it.
And if I had feet, I could get away before it´s going to smell.

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