All comics by Duck_King

 

by Duck_King
2-28-01
Hi! We're a couple of politically correct, small, asian children
Due to the overwhelming amount of people who have been asking "When will Action Half-Life beta 4 be done?", we have decided to provide you with some helpfull information!
When its done...
Now fuck off!

 

by Duck_King
2-28-01
Ahhhhh... a nice, relaxing rest in my garbage can... time to get re-aquainted with 'ol Captain Winky... OH! Hello there Mr. Bug!
Hey there creampuff. I heard you have information on Valve's new super-secret class for Team Fortress Classic.
Indeed I do you pathetic wretch... I know all! Now if you'll kindly step aside, I will show you, and the rest of the world as well! Muahahahha!! No uncle Marvin! Dont make me sit on your lap! I..
What a frickin' nut.
And the new, super secret class is... DOG ON BALL Z!! Great for taking out those f4g0t demomen!! 1337!
Someone set us up the bomb!

 

by Duck_King
2-28-01
In a world we wish we lived in...
"... and in other news today, a 12 year old was caught using a wall hack and spamming a game of Day of Defeat."
"Since the recent law passed requiring all gamers to have IQ's over that of grapes, the 12 year old who went by the name "Ne0DarthM4ul420" will be put to death tomorrow."
"Punishment for breaking this law includes having your testicles squeezed by your mouse cable while having your moniter dropped on your head... repeatedly until all trace of brain has leaked out.."

 

by Duck_King
2-28-01
"Dear Bravo-Tango-Green. I found your writings on why penguins make lousy sexual partners, shall I say... odd. Stop sending me these letters.
"Furthurmore, I did not find the picture you sent me of you bent over, showing your enflamed butthole to the world enticing at all, contrary to what you wrote in your original letter. -George Clooney"
...........

 

by Duck_King
2-28-01
One day, in happy, fun internet land...
You again? Why the hell do you even bother hanging around our server and forums, Grayfox? You know everyone thinks you have the brains of drying paint!
ahahahhahhahahgasahaha! fuck yuo Duck_king!!!!11 Yup aer ghey adn yup aer teh gheyest plaiyer evar!! haahah!!!!111 But then agaian, I am tsns bitch!!11 can i coem to teh LAN party? PLaese!?!???!11
Oh gods of the internet, give me the power to destroy this creature that was not meant to procreate!
hahahhahahhahahah!!!11 i fuond a bee once. it had wings adn it... ahahahhah ghey!! fuck yuo!!!`~* Yuo aear fuckning fga and teh Chuckee Cheeze si teh best...
You fragged Grayfox!
Score!
ARGH!!! IT BURNS!!! MY EYES! GHEY!!!

 

by Duck_King
2-28-01
*ticatac ticatac ticatac* So how did the LAN go? Everyone show up?
Bravo: Yeah everyone was there, even Grayfox.
Duck_King: Really? Khufu actually gave him his address? I wish I'd gone now. So what happened?
Well, after Khuf made Gray cook bacon with nothing but a pot holder on his wing-wang, we used his overly large buck-teeth to open our Mountain Dews. Oh yeah, Green got drunk and fell out a window.
So other than that, how was Counter-Strike?
Bravo: We didn't play. We figured throwing stray dogs at Grayfox was alot more fun. I was 14-2. Then Khuf kicked him out for lagging.

 

by Duck_King
2-28-01
No one can defeat me now that I have cable. I am the Alpha and the Beta 5.2 (or some shit like that)
Look out world! Bravo-Tango-Green is here to destroy you in one fell swoop with his mighty Mac 10! You will cower before me! I will...
Bravo-Tango-Green was torn a new asshole by Jenny's AWP
I wonder how many people I'll be able to take with me when this thing goes off...

 

by Duck_King
2-28-01
"Do do do do do do do doooo... DAY-TON-AAAAAAA!!"
Duck! There you are! Hey remember that 20 bucks I loaned you when you where hypnotized and probably dont remember it?
Ummmmmm... no Arch, I dont. Why do you want 20 bucks?
Ok, well, see there's this guy on TV name Don Lapre or something like that. Anyway, he says I can make millions by buying his tapes!! Each one of 40 is only 20 dollars!
Sooooo... basically you buy all these tapes, and then sell them to suckers for 20 bucks a piece right?
Dude, how did you know that?! Did you buy his tapes? Can I borrow them? I wanna be rich! Hey! Where you goin'?

 

by Duck_King
2-28-01
Ok, so there's this guy, right? And he has this like, dog, or something. Stop me if you've heard this one... and so he see's this other guy right, and he's like "Hey guy" and stuff, right? And he..
"then he goes, 'that a dog?' and the other guy's like 'Yeah.', so he's like 'Really', and the other guy's like 'Yeah' and stuff, and he like..."
..........
..........
Do you want to kill him, Jenny, or should I?
Dont worry about it. I told a bunch of Counter-Strike players he said Daikatana was a superior game, and that Mihn Lee was John Romero's love child. Did you bring the camera?

 

by Duck_King
3-01-01
Hwody all!!11 Thsi is teh grayfox "Taech u hwo to spel" show!!!11 Today u will lern hwo to spel liek me, grayfox, and be teh mastar speler!!!11 f|_| ( K u!
Tuday on my shwo i haev a smal azian gurl form duck_kins fist comci stripe!!!~1 i dotn now if shee hsa a naem so i wil call her teh gurl!!!111 shwo thme wut i taut u gurl!!!!111
Well, frankly mister Grayfox, I find you to be an utterly moronic individual, whom I wouldn't find fit to flip the burgers where I order my "Happy Meals" from, and you go to TSN's forum in a feeble...
STFU!!!!!!111 u weer supost to say hwo kewl i am fro teechign u hwo to spel from me teh mastar speler grayfox!!!!1111
Yeah, well, YU0 = F4G0t.

 

by Duck_King
3-01-01
CRAP!
Whats the matter Arch?
I downloaded this warez version of "Daikatana" right? Well, I think it had a virus on it, because when I put it in, all I saw was this funky green color all over my moniter and all these frogs...
No man, thats the game... Daikatana.
Really? Whew! I thought I had a serious problem on my hands! I'll just delete it then and...
Well, I'd still recommend you burn your harddrive and toss the remains somewhere over the Atlantic...you can never be too sure.

 

by Duck_King
3-01-01
This isnt nearly as fun as the catalogue said it would be...

 

by Duck_King
3-02-01
Ya know somethin' Bob? I'm really starting to think I made a bad career move. Those ad's on the posotronic imaging device make this look like fun...
What are you talking about Bob?
Well, I thought I'd be doing neat things like planting my embryo in a humans chest and watching all hell break loose, but all I do is take cow penis samples and make crop circles.
We're preparing, Bob. Finding out the humans weakness so we can conquer them and make them do our bidding... they are a crafty and warlike race, and every member of thier species is bent on killing.
Hehehe. Dancing hamsters are funny. I wonder if I can get the techno remix on Napster...

 

by Duck_King
3-03-01
How are you gentlemen? All your base are belong to us!
u need the STFU!!!!11
You are on the way to destruction!
fuck u faggot!!!!
You have no chance to survive make your time.
Take off every 'fag'! Move 'fag'! For great justice!

 

by Duck_King
3-04-01
Poetry night at "The Beatnick Bongo" (formerly Tom's Hosiery Empourium, formerly Hal's Sausage Shed)
*snap* *snap* *snap* *snap*
I wrote this one after waking up in a pool of my own vomit. This goes out to all you cool cats out there. Its called "Hark! The Low Ping Bastard!"
Hark! The low ping bastard! The AWP is gay! The lady bug is dead within my soul! Hark! Where is The Opera? I sit on my stool of sorrow and await! Hark! Your god is dead, and my pubes itch!
*snap* *snap* *snap* *snap*
You're all hypocrits! Thank you. If you want to hear more, you can find me in my parents basement, or at the Plasma Donation Center. Groovy man, groovy!

 

by Duck_King
3-11-01
Whats wrong Grayfox?
oh wo si me!!!!!1 i gto baned of teh TSN sver adn khufu si a FAG!! u need the STFU!!
Well, if you got banned from the server, why dont you find another one to play on? I mean, there's thousands out there, and you dont have alotta fans on ours...
FUKC YUO FAGGOT!!!!11 Yuo dotn no teh hole story! i haev a 181 IQ, adn i type at 90 werds pre minete, and yuo Khufu si a FAGGOT!!!11
Three hours later...
....
*Grayfox was killed by (4)Player's glock* Fukcing faggot fag fuckign hadhsadhasdk u need the STFU!!!!11

 

by Duck_King
3-12-01
Hey Jenny... huh huh huh huh. Are you really a girl? Huh huh huh huh. Can I see you naked? Huh huh huh huh
Yes, I am really a female, and no, you will see me naked on a cold day in hell when the devil is playing "Old Maid" with Mathew Perry.
Huh huh huh huh. I'll bet you're really a guy. Huh huh huh huh. Or your ugly. Huh huh huh huh. Or a lesbian. Huh huh huh
I swear to god, you are about 2 seconds shy of getting your balls kicked to the back of your skull...
2 seconds later that day...
DEAR GOD!! THERE IS BLOOD IN MY PEE-PEE! The sky is swimming! ARGH!
Damn right there is. Huh huh huh.

 

by Duck_King
3-12-01
I've got my hand so far down my pants, it's in my left sock!!

 

by Duck_King
3-12-01
*hic* Lemme tell you shumthin'... *hic* Yer *hic* nuthin to me! I *hic* dun need you anymer! *hic* Who the hell *hic* are you!
Are you drunk again Green?
*hic* I aint *hic* drunk! I only *hic* had one or two 'lil martoonis! *hic*
Is that why there's a giant urine stain on your crotch? And, whew, is that vomit on your shoes?
*Thud!* I dun *hic* need yer help! *hic* I can git up myshelf! *hic*
I'll get the push-broom...

 

by Duck_King
3-13-01
Hey man, whats up? Remember me?
Ummmm no... dont think I do... who are you?
..........
.........
Wanna buy me a hot-dog? I like ferrets.
That does it, I'm outta here!

 

by Duck_King
3-13-01
The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about fight club!
You again?! Would you stop following me already?! I dont wanna see your tree house or whatever it is...
The second rule of Fight Club is...
Look, if I buy you your damn hotdog with you leave me the hell alone?
With mustard, no onion.
*mumble mumble* Asshole... *mumble mumble*

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