All comics by FatJordan

Profile

 

by FatJordan
4-12-04
Hey Chris, I just downloaded the new Bad Religion!
Really? What's it like?
Have you heard any of their other albums?
Yeah.
You already know.

 

by FatJordan
4-13-04
Boo-yah! Only 45 more minutes until The Shield is on!
BIGunitJOHN: It's gonna kick ass. Is FX running the Bush speech?
Hold up a second. Let me check.
Ironically enough, they are showing the Will Smith classic, Enemy Of The State

 

by FatJordan
4-14-04
You know what you guys? I'm sick of all the Bush bashing.
The guy is our President for Christ's sake. Give him a break.
I mean, he can't be perfect. Sure, he should be close, but come on.
We should just chill out and realize we all would have done the same thing.
I just wished something funny happened today, so I could have planned for this moment.
Non-Partisan parties ripping into the President. More at 10.

 

by FatJordan
4-15-04
Hey Jon, what did you think of my newest comic?
14 Minutes Later...
What do you think? Not so good?
Shoe999: Oh sorry. I'm watching Ninja Turtle porn.

 

by FatJordan
4-17-04
Shit. I'm so sick of everything. I'm gonna end it all.
Oh man, nothing could make me feel better.
Please come again!

 

by FatJordan
4-18-04
Dude, I'm so sick of girls.
Dude, don't say that.
No, for real. I don't think there's such a thing as true love anymore. I mean, 50% of marriage ends in divorce.
One minute later...
Stop making me so depressed.

 

by FatJordan
4-19-04
Oh man, look at this one. It's for a facial!
Haha. Silent auctions are awesome.
Inspiration strikes our hero!
Hey, if you bid on the facial and lose, I'll hook you up with one for free!
Nice try, ass.
Inspiration strikes our hero...again!
Hey, if you bid on the facial and lose, I'll hook you up with one for free!
Oh Jordan! You're the sweetest!

 

by FatJordan
4-20-04
7:40 A.M., Sociology, 49 Degrees and Cloudy
Today in class we're going to talk about goals in life.
I hate first period.
Jordan! What is one of your goals in life?
...
Well, I've always wanted to join a softball league or a bowling team. I think that would give me a sense of belonging.

 

by FatJordan
4-21-04
Awww crap, here comes that stoner.
Hey there Mr. Butts.
Hi-Di-Ho, Jordan! Wanna get high?
Wasn't April 20th yesterday?
Oh shoot. I must be chronically late.

 

by FatJordan
4-22-04
Yes, the McRib does suck. But anywho, anyone who says the balloons were good in the poem is stupid! They were the whole poem!
I'm just saying, I liked when he...
NO! THE BALLOONS WERE THE WHOLE POEM!
THAT'S IT! I'M SICK OF THIS CLASS!
Huh?
It's not even that you were making fun of me for liking the balloons. But you had to make fun of the McRib that can't defend itself! Real mature.

 

by FatJordan
4-28-04
Well, at least I've had enough to forget about my Calc final.
...
And I've got a few Halo wins under my belt.
...
STOP LOOKING AT ME SWAN!
...

 

by FatJordan
5-01-04
Hey LeShawn!
AWW HELL NAW! I'ma havta BUST a cap.

 

by FatJordan
5-03-04
My Thoughts On The Movie Mean Girls...
That girl's last name was Wieners. Haha.

 

by FatJordan
5-06-04
I don't care if you have a boyfriend, I'd still do you.
No you wouldn't, you're so respectful and such a good friend.
I would never take our friendship for granted!
...so...does that mean the backdoor is open for business?

 

by FatJordan
5-09-04
Hmm...I'll have an Atkins-Style Burger.
As the Nun turns around...
What's wrong with eating healthy?
Nothing, but why would you eat a SANDWICH without bread? I've got a meal for you that's Atkins-approved without bread for you.
What's that?
MY COCK!

 

by FatJordan
5-11-04
Hello default Asian girl. Have you seen the movie Akira?
Of course!

 

by FatJordan
5-16-04
After showing my mom a video I taped of two girls kissing which was interupted by her coming home...
Mom, you totally cockblocked me from watching lesbians go down on each other!
Shut up Jordan! They kissed, that's all.
They said they would have done things involving "carpet" and "munching".
Well you should have called me and I wouldn't have come home!
Oh yeah, "Hey mom, can you not come home? I'm about to watch two chicks go down on each other. Thanks!"
Touche.

 

by FatJordan
5-31-04
I found a quarter!

 

by FatJordan
5-31-04
Why hello Ian, fancy seeing you here.
Yeah. Thanks for the beer mannnnnn.
It was no problem my man. Just please be safe with it. And you still owe me $5. Didn't you say one of these kids has it?
Yeahhhhhhhh, but he's not here. I'll give it to you Tuesday.
Could I just have it now? It would really help me to pursue an exciting night.
I'LL GIVE IT TO YOU MONDAYYYYYYYYYY!

 

by FatJordan
6-15-04
I know what you're thinking.
No you don't.
"Whatever happened to Mario Van Peebles." He's staring in a movie about his dad. It has a funny title.
YOU'RE A GENIUS!

 

by FatJordan
8-04-04
Hey there.
What up Jordan? Did you hear about the Chyna and X-pac porn video?
What!? You gotta be kidding me, that's sick!
Kid you not, young'un.
I'm guessing it's one hell of a slobberknocker.

 

by FatJordan
8-26-04
Hey, what's up man? I'm Jordan, I'm your roommate!
Hey.
What's your name?
Scott Peterson.

 

by FatJordan
1-06-05
Enter Password:
Heh...p-e-n-i-s
Password not long enough.

 

by FatJordan
6-28-05
...ancient Chinese secret.

 

by FatJordan
6-28-05
Seriously. You haven't written a comic in like six months. What gives man? Are you just going to forget about your comic counterpart?
You're welcome, my friend.

 

by FatJordan
5-01-06
He...um...what are you doing?
Hey neighbor! I'm just working on sorting my ancient Chinese Pottery Barn collection!
No you're not. You realize I'm on the same side of the fence as you, right?
...don't judge me.
Have you heard about the movie Hard Candy? Guy like you...gets his...parts...MANGLED.
And you are trying to make me stop?

 

by FatJordan
5-06-06
Never again will I say that boning Ms. Pac Man is worth the hassle.

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