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| Jack Renfield is a man of family values. He'll bring back wholesome, child-safe education. You can count on Jack. | |
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| Lars Norseberg isn't stuck in the past when it comes to political correctness. It's time for you to turn Jack off. | |
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| And in just minutes, you can feel the hair so loose, you can just wipe it away! Just rub Nad's wherever you have that nasty hair! | |
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| Hair-B-Gone just dissolves the hair away! Not painful like those other Australian hair removers! Wow! | |
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| Oh, Dick, I love you! I'm really a man, but I had a sex change operation, and I'm carrying your quintuplets! | |
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