All comics by GreatSoulMachine

 

One day, in Hardline...
Crinity's map is wonderful!
* RRRRIIINNNGGG!!!! *
What the hell?...
What the hell?... 6 months of work.

 

Damn she's hot!
Excuse me.. My name is Brett. Will you go out with me?
No way, loser.
She actually spoke to me! Maybe next time I'll get a little nookie...

 

Somewhere...
Tell me again why I need to stay right here?
A few hours later.
Fucking God...
AAAAAIIIIEEEEE!!!!!
Don't fuck with me... My son.

 

One evil day..
* Poke Poke Poke*
Ouch!
One evil thought later..
* Poke Poke *
God dammit, stop that. OW! Thats it. I'm getting God. Your in big trouble now...!
A few pokes later.
Hehehe... *Poke*
God?

 

* Xaio Xaio 5 Auditions TODAY *
...
* clears throat *
YAAAAAAAAAA!!!
Is this the Easy level?

 

Sunday...
Jesus himself has called upon me. That is right. With love in my heart and stuffing in my head, I call to you O' Lord. O' Mighty Lord...
A few countless paragraphs later.
...feel that the mark of the beast is really nothing to fear. Fear has no meaning because we trust in God. That's right ladies and gentlemen, God is Great.
Later...
Mommy? Who was that man?
Just a liar, sweetheart.

 

Excuse me?
I'm serious officer. He was just crossing the street then *BLAM!*... Flatter then the breasts on my Aunt Mabel.
Where the hell am I?
Exactly.
Oh shit! A talking goat.
OH.. I mean. *BAAHHHH!!!*

 

Be out in a sec!
Ok, hun...
I just had to put my face on. *tee hee*
*click*
Looks like she took it off and put the blender on "Disembowel".

 

A hungry squirel...
Hey, can I have one of your big nuts?
...
Hey, come back! I'm a squirel, get it? It's a joke!

 

TIMMAY!
Sometimes it's better to say nothing at all.

 

Nothing you have will stop me, Captain Fume!
You evil-doer, take this!
*BBRRRAAAPPP*
A few lung bursting seconds later...
*gasp* *choke* *cough* *pant*
My Silent Death technique will "cut" you down. Get it? As in, cut the cheese? Ha-ha.

 

What a cute little girl.
A weird rumble...
I'M THE FIRE-STARTER... TWISTED FIRE STARTER...
???
Tee-hee.
ouch.

 

A recent band audition...
Hi, I'm Kris. This is Kross.
Together we are...
WYLD STALYONS!!!
WYLD STALYONS!!!
Wait. That's not right...

 

One day, walking home from school...
Hey baby. Wanna wrestle?
- YOU WILL DIE A HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE DEATH, FOR I AM KARRIE! -
ZZZzzzztttt!!!
NNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!
Good enough.

 
Suddenly, a rabid squirel appears...
Life is good.

 

Lucy ...
In the sky with ....
Diamonds ...
Hammm-ueerrorn-woway..
Trippy.

 

Somewhere...
Shiggity shiggity shway.
What?
Say it!
Huh?
Say it!
Ok, ok. Shiggity shway..

 

And now, a theatrical dance by a man on fire...
I am fire. Ouch, it is hot.
See how I writhe in pain, my skin turning to a deep crisp.
And thus ends our performance...
I'm burning. Put me out. Ouch. No, really! Ow, god dammit! Someone get a hose! The pain!
*clap clap clap*

 

A dorm in Ashland, Oregon...
Hi. My name's Andy. Will you be my friend?
* Is this the way you always talk to your PC's before you start downloading sock-puppet porn? *
Mmmmm... Sock porn...
* ... Why are your hands in your pockets?... *

 

Monday...
That guy looks exactly like me...
So...
Don't talk to me.

 

* Nyuck Nyuck* Want a baloon, little girl?
Hey, ouch. Thats my funny bone. * Nyuck Nyuck*
OUCH. How did you fit that in there? Mama!!
Gwa...
I hate clowns.

 

One fine day...
People want to know why you say "Shway" instead of "Shwa"...
Want to know why? Come closer...
...
*BLAM!*
THATS WHY.. Now shut the hell up.
Ooohhh....

 

A fight begins...
My ChiChiMon can beeat your ChiChiMon easily.
Not huh, let's just see about that.
Kango, I choose you!
Go! Jebus!
* FIGHT *
Kango! Kang kango!
Oh shit...

 

Jacob reveals his new painting...
Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to present. My new masterpiece... Unleash!
Hey! Get out of the way.
Oops, so sorry. I'll just move over here...
I call this. "Ode to Suffering." From the two strokes on top you can actually feel the painting. And in the center the dots represent negativity.
Oooh... Ahhh... (Was that a floating head I just saw?) Shhh..

 

Excuse me. Is this the Matrox?
...
Matrox?
Isn't that a printer?

 

One sweet-filled day...
Government... Another boundry for girls like me to utterly destroy...
Karrie uses her powers to destroy the whitehouse...
I love my work.
*groan*

 

I'm taking the time out now to talk to my comic watchers...
This isn't REAL. None of this is. If you think it is real, your are a complete and utter moron and God himself should put you over his knee and give you the beating you deserve.
Thank you... And don't send me any emails asking me why I don't have a lower torso. I just don't know...

 

Midnight...
So, what're you in for?
Some bastard hacked me to pieces with an axe... Been here ever since. You?
You mean that isn't a Halloween costume?
...
*WOOSH*
Stupid kid.

 

Afternoon...
So.. How's it going?
What? I can't hear you... I have feet-for-ears.
Ok, that was pointless.
WHAT?

 

Another Karrie Adventure...
What?
You thought I was going to zap that squirel? How heartless do you think I am?
*Squeek?*

 

Again?
FINE...
* SQUEEEEEEEEK! *
* sigh *

 

Aboard an alien spacecraft...
Oh no... Not this again.
Ok, I know the drill. Bend over... Insert... But be quick about it.
Ow.
* beep beep beep *

 

Distant sirens...
What's that?
Oh, sheeit. It be the man. The man be comin'.
It be popo! Run foe it! Hide da weed!
Who? Ahh!! Shit..
Later...
Ahh.. sheeit... we's got caught. Where you be hidin' da weed?
You don't want to know.

 

Space, the anal frontier.
Stick em up! Turn around!
You don't have a gun, all you've got is your finger pointing me in the back.
...So?
Don't mock me.
Whatever.

 

Hollywood Blvd...
Are you, like, that guy from The Mummy?
Why yes I am. Pleased to meet you, I'm Billy Zane.
Are you the reason that movie sucked so badly?
No, that was Brandon Fraser.

 
THE END

 

One misty dark evening...
Wanna be "friends with benefits"? Let's get busy! *points down*
Maybe if I close my eyes he will go away.
Viola!
Nice touch..
Would you like to be *MY* "friend with benefits"?

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