All comics by JadeDeath1984

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by JadeDeath1984
1-15-03
Pinky the "Gay" Donkey meets Douglas the roaming christmas tree...
I'ma donkey...
I'ma christmas tree!
A challenge is made...
(2)Pfft... I could be a Christmas tree... (4)Yeah, lemmie just bust out my mad, l33t donkey skillz! *grunts*
(1)Christmas trees are better than donkeys... we're festive... your just... odd. (3) Oh yeah? I'd like to see that...
Oh jesus christ... can some one get a mop out here?
*snicker*

 

by JadeDeath1984
1-17-03
Matt and Jen have a heated discussion...
(1)Torrid.com is only for fat people and like... there underwear size is like 3X. (3)You may be surprised, but I don't wear 3X undies. (5)Thanks, I'll write that down.
(2)*Gasp* (4)I don't wear 3x either. Just for your records.
Take notes... there will be a test later...
(1)*writes it down backwards on her head*
(2)I wrote yours down...*reads* January 17, 2003 7:39 PM Jen told me she doesn't wear 3x underware.
Needless to say, I'm a bit shaken.
(1)Omfg. I just found a pair that only comes in 4X, that means that there are a bunch of 3X pantie wearing fatties running around in bikini cut Nightmare Before Christmas undies!
(2) HEHEHEHE!!!

 

by JadeDeath1984
1-17-03
After a night of "relations" with Tommy, it was brought to Harriet's attention, by her doctor, that she had genital warts...
(1)Do you think it's easy to be in a monestary when you have genital worts!? HUH DO YA!?
(2)HEHE! I'm not wearing any pants!!!
After getting no answers from Tommy, she wonders - how is she going to explain this to the other sisters?
(1)Do you think it's morally acceptable to scratch your private area with your rosarey beads during sunday mass!?
(2)HEHE! I'm STILL not wearing any pants!!!
Boy that's believable...
(1)WELL IT ISN'T!!! Genital worts have cost me many a hail mary!!! (3)WHAT!? Have you been listening!?
(2)HEHE! I'm not wearing any pants!!! (3)Huh? I mean... I sure in the hell didn't give them to you!

 

by JadeDeath1984
1-19-03
You see, Matthew's birthday was ... a while ago... and I didn't have money, or brains enough to do anything about it, I didn't wanna send him a e-card, because you can never find the right one...
I'm pretty sure that... I'm a idiot and all... so! I've decided to sing happy birthday to Matthew on here! I'm also thinking that, you know, I'm going to get him a very nice gift...
When I get the money of course! Which may be in 20 years! But dammit I'll get him a gift! I promise... I'll prove it to you all!!! And to Mr. Quackers!!! You damn duck!!! You wont be laughing soon!!!
Now! To the singing! Happy Birfday tew yew! I can't sing! But, hey, at least it's something... as late as it may be!!! Damn my mortal brain! Damn it to Hades!
Oh you will learn the value of smartness! Anywho... I'd like to make a public apology, to Maffhew, I am sorry... that I haves no moneys, and I can't pick out the correct e-card.
Oh... I feel so dirty... *sobsob* Happy Birthday Maffhew, yew is my bestest friend, and I love yew!

 

by JadeDeath1984
1-19-03
Ok, Mr. Bull, you're gunna take control over that cow, and you're gunna demand at least 5 hours of cow luvin'! Barnyard bumpin'! Farm fuckin'! Crop creamin'! ... You get the idea...
... Moo ... ?
Just ... be forceful! She'll get the point!
Moo!
Fucking MOO!
TAKE ME NOW!

 

by JadeDeath1984
1-20-03
Do0t do0t...
(2) She is in the shower... she'll probably be out in about 20 minutes...
(1) Where is Jessie? (3) Oh... well I'll go wait in the livingroom then.
Oh boy...
What the hell is she doing in there?
OH YES! YESSSSSSS! Ohhhhhhhh! YES, YES, YES!!!
Ewww...
Have fun in the shower?
Love the new shower head...

 

by JadeDeath1984
1-20-03
Morning at the Paws Playhouse Pet Shop.
Can you say Billy? BILL-EE?
Eat shit!
Hey bird... can you say 'Polly wants a cracker?'
HELP! HELP! I'm being raped!!!
...
WHAT?

 

by JadeDeath1984
1-20-03
Hehe... Maffhew is the only one that'll get this and think this is funny...
...
They're pretty...
...
They're popular...
Pretty popular?
They're...

 

by JadeDeath1984
1-20-03
The word Assosiation game...
(2)Tyrana-sore-ass
(1)Kevin...
(1)Angelina Jolie...
(2)Nice boobies...
(2)A dirty slut who needs to die a horrible death in which she is first humiliated, and after being laughed at till she cries, will be slowly screwed to death by a passing llama...
(1) Jen Carter... (2)Ok...

 

by JadeDeath1984
1-20-03
I'm bored... sue me...
(2)Was it Matthew, was it?
(1)Jen, that was pretty mean...
...
...
I didn't think so... HEHEHEHE
No... HEHEHEHEHE

 

by JadeDeath1984
1-21-03
Wo0t!!!
(1)Mock... (3)Ing... (5)Bird... (7)Yeah (9) Yeah
(2)Yeah (4)Yeah (6)Yeah (8) Yeah
Here comes the big finish!
(1)Mocking Bird, everybody have you heard... (3) She's gunna buy me a mocking bird!
(2) Have you heard?
Er...
Hehe... well... I'm done...
Hehe... me too!

 

by JadeDeath1984
1-21-03
Just gunna clear up some thing... about characters... if anyone even reads my comics... the Brunette girl in this panel is usually going to be me, if not said otherwise...
Yeah, I'll be playing Jen, tho she has informed me she'd never wear pink, and my boobies are far to pointy...
And this here will be Matthew...
Yes, and I'd be Matthew... mhm... I suppose I'm a pretty good Matt... yet I'm lacing in the clothes and hair type stuffs...
Mhm... there it be.
Hehe, Matthew... your a stud.
I know Jen, I know...

 

by JadeDeath1984
1-22-03
Matt paints a pretty picture...
(1) Jen? (3) Imagine this...
(2) Yeah? (3) Ok...
(1) 25, 8-10 year olds, hopping around grabbing at their crotches yelling about how much their pee pees hurt trying to come to a conclusion, when they have NOTHING TO CONCLUDE!
(2) Wow...
Yeah, it was like fucking 'Nam all over again.
Hehe.

 

by JadeDeath1984
1-29-03
Jen meets Matt in the hall.
Hey Matt! How's it...
I'm Michael Jackson!!! Eee hee hee!!!
...
...
What the fuck?
I don't know...

 

by JadeDeath1984
2-22-03
What Matt and me go thorugh everyday...
I'll wash your mouth out... WITH URINE!
... *blink blink* ...
...
I'll was your mouth out... WITH SEMEN!!!
Holy shit...
*drifts in and out of sleep*
Welcome to my office, make yourself comfortable... take off your bra if you'd like...
Wait a minute... this is MY office... make YOURSELF comfortable... take off MY bra if you'd like.

 

by JadeDeath1984
2-22-03
(1) Hey Matt, hows it going? (3) Really? *pokes Matt's leg*
(2) Agh.. I dunno, my leg is feeling all explodie... ergs...
MATTHEW! NOOO! *cries*
*whoosh*
*depressed whoosh*
*sizzle*

 

by JadeDeath1984
2-26-03
Matt and me want to go to a new school... you'll see why...
Oh god... tomorrow is "Wacky day" ... my lord I'm going to barf... *gags*
Yeah... I hope they don't expect us to dress up...
Go to another school... in another country
(1)Hi Jen, hi Matt... Why aren't you guys dressed up? (3)That's just WACKY enough to work!!!
(2)We're dressed as ourselves... isn't that WACKY!?
Please... send money...
Oye... poke out my short-term memory?
Don't mind if I do!

 

by JadeDeath1984
3-25-03
The guy in the black is Iain. He's my boyfriend.
Hi, Jen. I is back.
Dear god he's sexy.
(1)So what's up?... (3)how'd we get in the bedroom?
(2)Not a lot *snickers* (4) TAKE ME NOW!
uh... okies. *breaths heavily*
Alright! Let's do "it"! *breaths heavily*

 

by JadeDeath1984
7-07-03
[1] I'm going to go home and have a cold beer... and shoot my cat...
[2] But... you don't have a cat...
[2] !
[1] Oh yeah... that's right... I guess I'll just shoot yours.
[2] So maybe I wont... I'm going to go visit Sally... didn't she just get a new cat?
[1] I'm pretty sure you wont...

 

by JadeDeath1984
7-07-03
[1] Hey Sally... I heard you got a new cat... [3] Can I see him?
[2] Yesh, and his name is mister Fluff'ems... I lub hims. [4] Sure!
A shot is fired and the screams of "NOOOOO!!! Mister Fluff'ems!!!!" is heard through out the neighborhood.
What the hell was that?
Meow?
Translation: Mew... = You stupid fucking clod...
Oh, Hello little Boots!!! Are you hungry? Do you want mommy to get you some food? Did that mean, mentally unstable drunk scare you?
Mew...

 

by JadeDeath1984
2-10-04
While walking along a street downtown, Billy runs into a suspicious character.
Hey... Whatcha got there?
...Porn...
Delicious porn?
Is there any other kind?
Well... there's good porn...
Who told you?

 

by JadeDeath1984
3-03-04
Oh powerful wizard, can you help me? I hear you can do anything, is this true?
Yes, it is true... I can do ANYTHNG!
Can you make me young again?
...Well... I.... NO!
...Shit.

 

by JadeDeath1984
3-03-04
y0. Wizzzzard! I needs yous to do the family a little favor... Can you help us?
I am the Wise Wizard, what can I do for you?
I'd like you to make is soes my father will be no more, so I can move up on the... I would've ask my cousin Danny, but he's being closely watched, and you're a power wizard, so you'll have no problem.
Well... you see... I don't usually... NO!
... You wont get away with this! The family has ways of finding you!

 

by JadeDeath1984
3-03-04
Mister powerful wizard, what has brought you to my humble undersea lair?
I, the wise wizard came here to grant you assistance if any is needed. And... a large group of Italians strapped cement blocks to my feet and threw me of a dock.
Well, can you please make me either into a man or a shark? I am shunned by both men and sharks.
Well... I guess I could... that is if... NO!!!!
50 years later.
So... still working on the spell?

 

by JadeDeath1984
3-04-04
Ahem.

 

by JadeDeath1984
4-14-05
These two smart looking men are Iain and Bob, they're a buncha big dumb animals, aren't they?
You know what would be really fun, huh, do ya?
Uhh... no? What would be really fun?
Jen and Kali, are off to the right a tad...... Over there... ---->
Hey JEN! KALI! You two should hug... yes, that's right. Now smell her hair...
Ehehehe... *watches*
I couldn't find a good Kali, so the part of Kalika will be played by that thar busty school girl...
I'm going to keeeeeeel them now.
...

 

by JadeDeath1984
4-14-05
Are we in heaven?
Yes, I think we are... you know, I heard that when my mom died, she came here...
Oh, she came alright, but it wasn't here, ehehehe...
...what?
SHE'S LIKE BUTTAH!!!
...

 

by JadeDeath1984
3-25-06
Little Timmy, do you know what christmas is all about? 3.) Would you like me to explaine it all to you?
2.) No, Father Richard, I don't. 4.) Would I!
Well, christmas is a time when all little boys and girls get... RAPED BY THEIR PRIEST AND FORCED TO LIVE A LIE FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES!
OH MY GOD!
You bet your ass, timmy. You bet your ass.
*cries*

 

You're sweet, sweet ass.
You bet your sweet ass.
by JadeDeath1984, 3-25-06

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