All comics by Killer_Beer_Coaster

Profile

 

They will put anything on TV today, I'm going out.
When animals that attack magicians who have little children that break toys that belonged to Alfred Hitchcock, Next on FOX!
Hi KBC! Its Minkee! How are you today? I am fine, blah blah blah blah blah!
Maybe if i concentrate hard enough, he will spontaniously combust...
AIEEEEEEE!!!! MAKE THE PAIN STOP!
Maybe that was a little too much...

 

Lets see, I've destroyed the world, causing everyone to die a horrible, horrible death, AND I missed COPS, dammit!
Hey, I was able to destroy the world, maybe I can fix it and still watch COPs. Must....try....hard!
Goddamnit! I didn't want him back! And if I destroy the world again, I will miss COPS for sure! What a dilemma...
Hey KBC! What happened? The last thing i remember was being hot then it was all a blur!

 

Lets see, I've destroyed the world, causing everyone to die a horrible, horrible death, AND I missed COPS, dammit!
Hey, I was able to destroy the world, maybe I can fix it and still watch COPs. Must....try....hard!
Goddamnit! I didn't want him back! And if I destroy the world again, I will miss COPS for sure! What a dilemma...
Hey KBC! What happened? The last thing i remember was being hot then it was all a blur!

 

FloatingTorsoMan breaking into the room
You gotta help me KBC! They are after me!
Oh God, what now? Why can't I watch COPS in peace? Maybe if I help him, I can also steal his wallet...
CRASH!!!
Oh no! They found me! You go that way, I'll go this way! Meet me at the secret place!
Maybe I can fake going that way, but insted stay here and watch the rest of COPS
Enter...DEATH!!!! Well...Its his brother, Bob (We don't have the budget to get the real Death)
I cannot speak, and I cannot hear, but I can read minds, so which way did FloatingTorsoMan go?
You think I care? Now fuck off, I'm watching COPS

 

Where the hell am I?
This is the transition from the moral plane to the afterlife
WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?!
That should have killed you out of dire fear...you are strong willed.

 

So this is Hell? Hmmm...i would have thought it looked like FloatingTorsoMan's room with dildos and Goatse.cx posters all over the place
God no! That scares the shit out of us too, I just wanted to talk to him because i found his wallet
You gotta be shittin me!
No, its the truth, he was walking past me and it fell out.
Really....give it to me and i will make sure it gets back to him.
OK. Wait, one small problem, you are in HELL!

 

OK, I'm bored now, I want out
I'm sorry, but once you are here, you have to get past me to get out.
Burn, baby, burn!
No. Hey, what are you doi...AIEEEE!!!!
Thats just damned scary.
Don't tell anyone how i live...

 
That's just wrong, no matter how you look at it

 

Dammit! Being stuck in Hell took up too much time, I missed COPS!
Now, Worlds Scariest Midget Wrestlers, Only On FOX!
I guess i should go meet FloatingTorsoMan at the secret spot
Hey...where did my TV go? And what the hell is that thing in the background?

 

Don't you just love nature?
Well now, this is boring.
Burn you cute little animals.

 

Why won't this robot get out of my way?
Hey, how are ya? Lets do lunch!
Maybe I can use my super powers again.
Arn't very talkative, are ya?
I don't sink because I have super powers, the robot on the other hand...
GLUB!

 

Water is blue...
Might as well go see FloatingTorsoMan again, maybe give him back his wallet.
He doesn't see me, maybe I can pull that stool out from under him and he won't notice until it's too late.
Where the hell is KBC? I hope Death didn't get him! Oh no! He's dead! Its all my fault!

 
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
He looked stupid before, now he looks better, and the pain he suffered changing was more painful than just kicking his stool out.
What the hell happened to me?

 

Knock knock.
Who's there?
I guess we'll never know, we are out of space.
Damn...

 
WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?
I don't know, but tonight we be eatin' chicken and ham!

 

Because of you, I went to hell and back!
Hmm...yeah, that wasn't suppose to happen....
I'm gonna kick your ass!
I'll cut ya, bitch!
Seems FloatingTorsoMan forgot Killer_Beer_Coaster had them magical powers.
Moron.
Ugh.

 

SOMEBODY SET US UP THE BOMB!!!!11
Umm...that's funny, you should be laughing.
Fire is funny.
Oh God! Make the hurting stop!

 

Hey...lets review all the characters that have been in this comic so far.
This panel and the next one match up.
Hi! I am Minkee! I dont admit it to anyone, but I am a raging heterosexual! I pretend I'm gay, it confuses a lot of people.
And I'm Bob! Death is my brother, but this crappy comic couldn't afford him, so they are stuck with me.
This panel and the last one match up.
I'm FloatingTorsoMan, and I'd rather be dead than be in Killer_Beer_Coaster's stupid comic.
And I'm Kate! Wait, I haven't been introduced yet. Dammit! I'll be in my trailer if anyone needs me.

 

Well now, wasn't that fun? Let us meet some more people that will be popping up in the future.
Hello, my name is MovingTarget. Some people think i have a loose 3/4 bolt, but its actually my penis.
Hi, i am DarkBurolli. This is the only time my name will be spelt right in the whole comic series, so cherish it.
This better be the right one! I'm Kate! Now leave me alone!
Hi, I'm not really a character, I'm actually a prop, and you will see a lot of me, especially when Moving Target is around.

 

Hmm...
Now that i know who i will meet in the future, where will this story go?
Oh well, no time for that, Clerks is on TV!
You know, there's a million fine-looking women in the world, but they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of them just cheat on you.

 

Welcome two more characters to the world of Killer_Beer_Coaster!
I'm bored here and I don't feel like meeting anyone else yet, so I am going to name my TV and the most popular character in this strip.
With my special powers, I can make anything happen, like this TV just appear and give it life. TV! You are called JavaBomberman!
What the hell? What happened? Oh my God! I'm alive! Alive! Wait...I can't move my legs!
The funny part is they only talk when Killer_Beer_Coaster wants them to talk.
Where the hell am I? What happened? How am I talking?
Fire! The most popular character in this strip...besides me. Fire, you will know be known as Carlos!

 

What happened to you?
Clone #625137! Help me out!
Here are the instructions! Wait, I can't read.
All you have to do is grab my arms and pull me out.
*cry* I cannot live like this! I cannot read! I am stupid! I am going to kill myself!
NO! FOOL! Help me out! Damn, another perfectly clone dead, the 27th who has died trying to get me out. And I'm still stuck in here. Maybe I should give them brains...

 

What are you doing here FloatingTorsoMan? Shouldn't you be in a garbage can somewhere in New Mexico?
I got a letter today, it's bad news.
Oh no! Kevin Smith isn't dead, is he?
No, let me read it. "Guys, you have to save me, Satan has taken me to hell because after that South Park movie, all the damned souls thinks he is gay and gives him no respect, save me!"
Oh....well, at least Kevin Smith is alive and well.
Yeah, that's true.

 

While packing for the trip to hell...
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Polish Burgler.
...Yeah, that seems about right
Come on, open up.
I'm going to go now.

 

So are you ready to go to Hell and back?
Yeah, I got a knife so we can dig our way to Hell.
......
I said something stupid, didn't I?
Oh yeah.
Oh well, lets go to hell!

 

Get ready, we are on the way to Hell, it will get scary in a second.
What the hell you talking about? Besides thinking that I am tripping, this trip is fine so far!
Kill me now!

 

While FloatingTorsoMan pulls himself together, lets check up on Satan and Kate
Hahahaha! You will forever be mine!
Are you flammable?
What the hell are you talking about? We're in lava!
Are you flammable, yes or no?
Silly Satan, never call Kate a freak.
You're a freak!
I'm not a freak!

 

Where are we?
We are in the fiery depths of Hell.
It's not as hot as I thought it would be. Say, do you smell something burning?
Oh God...
AHHHHH!!! SAVE ME!!!!!
Bad Carlos, BAD! Lay down! Play dead!

 

Who the hell is Carlos?
Get your ass out of the garbage! Carlos is the fires name, now hurry up, we only have three panels to find Kate.
They could be anywhere, there are billions of souls down here.
I have a feeling we will find them somewhere.
Let me check the note, maybe they left instructions on how to find them.
Hey! There they are! Damn, we are out of space.

 

Damn, they have found us.
About time. What happened? Killer_Beer_Coaster find some porno mags?
I am going to have to take care of them it seems.
Good. No one will be able to beat those two when they are together!
Vulcan logic? What the fuck?
As yes, but you forget, StripCreator only allows two characters in one panel at a time
Damn you and your Vulcan logic!

 

Hmm...since only one of us can fight him at one time, we have to see who goes first.
He doesn't look so tough. You can take him.
Umm...this isn't in my contract.
One- You don't have a contract. Two- I am the creator of this strip and i command you to face him one on one.
NO WAY! I'LL CUT YA, BITCH!
Remember what happened last time you tried that, or do you want me to bring back the magical pain?

 

Lets see, this says I am to kick your ass.
Silly....whatever you are. I have powers far beyond your imagination. I can make you do anything I want.
Ahh! No! Stop! This hurts so very, very much!
This is too much fun!
I'm not going to like this, am I?
Ever want to see the moon?

 

Let Kate go.
No.
.....
.....
Well, the writer can't think of anything else to put in this set, so next strip you die or something.
Stupid creator.

 

BURN YOU INSOLENT LITTLE MAGGOT!
You...you...you should be dead!
Yeah, funny thing I'm not, being the main character and all.
Anybody got any s'mores?

 

Hmm...just needs a little more.
Fire good....
Much better, let us leave this place now.

 

Ok, I hope you're ready, we be getting outta here.
What? Why should I do what you tell me to do?
Do you want out of here or not?
Depends, are you flammable?
Fuck this, I'm gone.
Dammit! Just give me a second!

 

So what took you so long? Get lost in traffic? Take a wrong turn somewhe...
I dont know think I'll ever get used to that...
...WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT! Kill them! Kill them all!

 

When master's away, the props will play
I'm bored.
So am I.
We need to be in more comics.
Damn straight, we should have contracts.
If I'm not in more comics, I swear I will post nothing but goatse.cx on his TV during COPS.
Sounds like a good idea. I will burn his genitals when he sits down.

 

The Introduction Of Moving Target!!
My God! What a large penis you have!
Umm...oh, its you again, leave me alone you freak!
I BURN YOU! THEN WE HAVE ANAL SEX!
Damn Moving Target scares me...
How I love being a robot with super powers! Up with anal sex! Slap my ass!
unF! unF! unF!

 

http://www.stripcreator.com/view.php?ID=27893 for the first part of the story
When Robots With Super Powers Get It Up The Rear By Skeletons Next On FOX!
Oh yeah, this is why we save the funny until the last panel...
"How I love being a robot with super powers! Up with anal sex! Slap my ass!" "unF! unF! unF!"

 

Hey Kate, i just realized something.
What is that KBC?
You have more facial expressions that me, and I'm the main character
Maybe it's because I am so special!
I'm special because I can light people on fire with my mind.

 

When Clerks Go To India And Cause World War III, Next On FOX
Heh...this is a good one.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?
Kate's back...
I MAY NOT HAVE SUPER POWERS, BUT I DO HAVE PMS!!!
Why couldn't she just have super powers? It would be a lot less painful on me...

 

Much better.
Is she gone yet?
God, that was painful. I'm going to have to use my super powers to make me a new body.
YEARGGGG! That was painful. Hey, I am transparent...first stop, YMCA female showers!

 

Hmm...it has been a while since we seen FloatingTorsoMan.
By golly KBC, you are right!
Shut up Minkee. I'm serious, the last time I saw him he was in hell and Satan blasted him up to the moon, think he is actually there?
No, I don't think so. Satan doesn't have the power to send somoene to the moon, he is a weak 2-bit has been.
Meanwhile, on the moon...
Hello? Where is everyone? Is anyone here? KBC? Kate? Ugh...Minkee?

 

More people being introduced, leave me alone, I'm watching TV. Kate broke my last one, so this is a new set.
Lets do the time warp agaaaaaaaain!
G'day, I am EnigmatikIX, a knowledgable fellow who will provide insight sometimes.
And I'm NeutralBot! Anyone who gets in my way shall be destroyed! Fear my power!
Billygoats eat metal, thats the funny.
Hmm....he looks damn tasty, I wonder if he is made of tin...
Hey, what's with that look in your eye? I'm getting scared. Stop, please, stop!

 

Don't
Do
Drugs
I think i see Jesus....

 

Hmm...yes, this seems fine, I will send it back to Earth and hope that KBC will rescue me.
Go FloatingTorsoMan, it's your birthday!
*FWOOM*
Wait a second...I could have gone back in that rocket...and it's taking the long way through the moon...

 

Ability to light furnature on fire with mind, yes.
*FWOOM*
Ability to light little animals such as whales on fire, with mind, yes.
*FWOOM*
Umm...why are you lighting all your things in the apartment on fire with your mind?
Bill Gates is coming to town, need to be ready for him. Ability to turn oxygen into fire, yes.

 

Hey FloatingTorsoMan, nice to see you are back.
I'm not FloatingTorsoMan, I am clone #729164430172B. He sent me a note to read to you.
How many clones does he have? *sigh* Read it, but only the important parts.
He is on the moon and would like a ride home. Also, aliens are planning to attack the earth.
...That's foreshadowing, isn't it?
Yes, I am going to kill myself now before some alien butch comes and makes me his bitch.

 

Hey KBC, where are you going?
To the moon and I will save FloatingTorsoMan, wanna come?
Sure!
Good good...
There isn't a funny for this comic, is there?
Nope, not one that I can see.

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