All comics by Kuki

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by Kuki
5-25-05
The hell?
Hi there.
Oooo...
Tee hee...
WHA' YOU DOIN' THAR, HENRY!
Oh snap! RUN FOR IT!
I got nothin'
I AM JESUS!
I hate you. DIE. *stab*

 

by Kuki
5-25-05
Mupp in the city. Being himself. Hehehe. He's a clown! =D
So...what's going on here?
I may not laugh, I may not cry, but god dammit, I'm gonna punch a clown!
Oh noes!...I had nothing.
YOU BASTARD!
Don't make me pull out mah gun and shoot you full a lead, pardner.
Don't pick on Kuki! He's got a knife. HE HAD A BARNEY BACK PACK. HE'LL STAB YOUR ASS.
Shut up, Kuki. You're such a god damn liar.
NO I'M NOT! ;-;

 

by Kuki
5-25-05
o.o Kuki is confused. LOST AND DAZED IN CHINA LAND. Or some other equally weird and dazing place.
Whoa...little Asian kids...
Beep beep!
Kuki becomes a bit frustrated.
Why are you beeping at me? Who are you?
Sucky sucky five dollah?
Kuki gives into his need to die. NOW. And escape the little Asian kids. Bastards...
GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD!
...sucky sucky five dollah?

 

by Kuki
5-25-05
Jesus? A stand up comedian?
So...how about that airplane food?
Robot man has no tact.
OMG! JESUS! HIGH FIVE!
...go to hell. Bastard.
Did you see that one coming? HMM!?
Jesus. I have a confession to make. I'm Atheist.
...so am I.

 

by Kuki
5-25-05
You know what?
...hold the nail between thumb and index finger...
Blahblahblahblahblah *whines*
Kuki hates people that whine over nothing.
Ah...sweet relief...
Blahblahblah and blah *whines*
It makes him cry. On the inside.
Blubbering pansies...
And then, and then...

 

by Kuki
5-25-05
Kuki ponders the meaning of life.
Hmm...what are we here for?
Perhaps he's thinking too hard.
I mean, all life seems to be for naught, and it does a good job of seeming that way.
Or maybe he's just crazy.
Or maybe life is just plain stupid. Or somesuch.
Life's a burrito!

 

by Kuki
5-25-05
Jesus deigns to speak to Kuki.
The meaning of life is...
Yes? Yes!?
Kuki treads dangerous gro.und
I like beans.
Friggin' cinnamon sniffer...
Jesus pwns Kuki. So sad.
I HEARD THAT! I KNOW YOUR SECRETS!
Dammit! Stupid mind reading Jesus...

 

by Kuki
5-25-05
Kuki never could understand this blue blob...thingy.
I am me.
Yes, I see.
Kuki senses a familiarity.
I really really like cheese.
Well...maybe you're right...
Kuki no longer cares.
I like you.
My brain needs more air.

 

by Kuki
5-25-05
Mupp is the first victim.
Mupp. You're a clown. A big stupid poopy head clown. I secretly hate you, and plan your downfall as we speak.
Mupp is unavailable. Due to smoke induced brain damage.
Nate. He's so...
Nate. You're...you're...
Oh...oh...meh...
Kuki is scarred. Forever more.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THAT POOR CREATURE!?
Bray for me baby!

 

by Kuki
5-25-05
Mupp and Nate take stabs at each other.
Nate ****s donkeys.
Mupps an asshole.
They're so witty.
Nate ****s donkeys, and thats how he got herpes.
Mupps an asshole, and that's why everyone hates him.
You knew it was coming.
...wanna ****?
Sure.

 

by Kuki
5-25-05
Oooo...
Man, this place used to be so much more funnier.
GFYAD, you Commo-Nazi-Jew.
Ahhh...
Wha?
Go forth, young asian dentist, you dumbass.
Witty.
But I'm a terrorist. And Arabian.
No ****, Sherlock.

 

by Kuki
5-25-05
Nate and Stixx duke it out.
I'm Bruce Willis. Ask Josh.
LIES!
Kuki haphazardly agrees...
Sure.
Ask Jesse, too. I'm Bruce Willis, aren't I?
And suddenly becomes George Clooney, while Nate prattles on in his debate with Stixx.
Did I see that coming? No way in hell.
Yeah, he really is.

 

by Kuki
5-25-05
An encounter!
Wha?
Life's a burrito.
Wha...?
I see....
Life's a burrito.
The shocking conclusion.
Blaghargle...
Dood, you got problems.

 

by Kuki
5-25-05
Stixx is some random kid.
I am Stixx.
Happy now, Ass?
I don't know him very well...
Why aren't I doing anything?
Because you're a dumb kid, you dumb kid.
Shocking conclusion? No, just more whining. You ungrateful ass. <_<
I hate you. Don't talk to me anymore.
Fine by me. I need some quiet before I...OW!

 

by Kuki
5-25-05
This is Darky and Mupp.
Hm...
What are you doing in my room, Darky? Couldn't resist me for long, could you?
Darky is a Prinny Goddess. And part time Communist Spy.
I don't have to explain myself to you! XO
My room my rules.
Don't ask. PLEASE.
*long detailed explanation involving spying and Communism*
I'm going to commit seppuku for the obvious suck ass fool that you made me realize I was.

 

by Kuki
5-26-05
Kuki recounts a story of what may or may not have happened to him.
Alright, so I'm standing here, doing nothing, when all of a sudden...
It was an interesting story, I'll admit.
BAM! Tea bags rain from the sky as run for my life. Their used...tea bag...ebilness falling all around me, oozing onto the concrete!
Really?
Kuki. Lonely as ever. Girls think he's crazy. They're probably right.
Yeah, it was fucking nuts.
Why oh why do I talk to the crazy ones?

 

by Kuki
5-26-05
He tries again.
Hi there. My name's Jesse.
Hi, I'm Donnaly.
He shoots.
It's nice to meet you. Most girls won't talk to me.
Oh? Why's that?
Off. Again. By miles. PHAIL.
Most say I'm crazy.
Ohhh, you're THAT Jesse.

 

by Kuki
5-26-05
Kuki is confused.
Um...hey, isn't there a reason you're standing in front of the men's restroom? I REALLY need to go.
*gibberish*
Kuki decides something's wrong.
I'm sorry, I didn't catch that.
*more gibberish*
Kuki, denied toilet and sanity. What next?
Oh, you're THAT creepy Asian kid.
Sucky sucky five dollah?

 

by Kuki
5-26-05
And here Kuki goes again.
So, I bought myself this ninja suit...
Ninja?
He's so tactless. And a braggart.
I snuck up behind this guy. Really creepy looking. Bloody mask, shirt and scythe.
Stupid Ninja suit. Didn't hide my identity at all! I'm returning it once I get out of the hospital.
And I gave him a wedgie! ^-^
You. Die. NOW.

 

by Kuki
5-26-05
And Kuki encounters Jesus again.
So, I thought I might ask you the meaning of life.
Yes, you did. I know this. I KNOW YOUR SECRETS!
Stupid mind reading Jesus...Holy Bastard.
Er, right. So, what is it?
I can't tell you. I'd lose my job.
Kuki. Shot down again. Will he ever be happy? Or will Jesus shoot his ass down again?
So...will I ever have a girlfriend?
No.

 

by Kuki
5-26-05
Toomy's at work.
Mmmm...chocolate...
He has chocolate.
Normally, I'd say that out loud, but if I do, then people sitting around me will notice, and I don't want to share.
Toomy doesn't like to share. Especially with other people.
DAMMIT! >_<
Hey, can I have a piece of that?

 

by Kuki
5-26-05
Kuki needs shtuff to do.
Mupp. I should kill you.
Why?
Yeah, he really does.
You see, my own personal computer has stopped working. I need someone to blame, and I hate you anyway.
I see.
Kuki sees profit in this.
And I'll take the donkey's vibrator and sell it to Jen! BLACKMAIL MATERIAL!
You bastard.

 

by Kuki
5-26-05
Kuki buys a wizard outfit!
I always wanted to be a wizard!
Well...the outfit is nice...but...
Uh oh, there he goes, thinking when he really shouldn't.
I'm gonna go zap someone with lightning, freeze them when they chase me, and then melt them and do it all over again!
Er, Kuki, that may be a bad idea...
Bastard...I really should have read the damn instructions on that staff.
HARAPPA PAPA! What? Why isn't it working!? AH! DON'T HURT MEEEE!
I tried to warn you, dumbass.

 

by Kuki
5-26-05
Kuki encounters an alien.
Whoa, an alien! DON'T PROBE ME!
What are you talking about?
A rather precarious predicament of random confusion.
Well, you are an alien, aren't you? And we ARE on a spaceship...
Oh, you mean that?
Kuki suddenly sees how the universe fits together.
Oh, I see. Can I go now?
You'll have to wait in line over there. Watch for Nate, though. He keeps cutting in line for another shot.

 

by Kuki
5-26-05
Kuki is sorry.
I'd like to apologize to everyone here.
He's not been very good at comics.
Lately, and by that I mean not even in the 24 hours I've been making these, I've been pulling things out of my ass.
However, he is confused as to who's been sneaking in his room at night.
But I must ask you. How the hell did all of that get there?

 

by Kuki
5-26-05
Animals also hate Kuki.
Hi there. What's with the long face?
Heehaw!
Which is unfortunate considering his which State of residence he lives in.
It was just a simple question. No need to get uppity about it.
Heehaw!
Kuki's made a startling discovery. What a screwed up world we live in.
Ohhhh, so you're THAT donkey...
Heehaw!

 

by Kuki
5-26-05
Private Eye Snoop de Loop is on the case.
So, why'dya do it, CEH.
He was an ass. I hated him.
He's not very bright.
So you admit to doing it?
No, you just think that.
Ooooo...fancy. CEH, the witty one.
Oh. In that case, would you like a brochure?
Sure. I need something to wipe my kni-er, wipe this blood off my shi-er, I need some life insurance.

 

by Kuki
5-26-05
Dear reader, why are you hear? Do I amuse you? Or are you a glutton for punishment? Or is it that you aren't very bright?
At times, even I don't know.
I mean, you COULD be doing other, far better things. THEORETICALLY, anyway. I mean really, why waste your precious time here?
I suppose you have a point. I haven't really done anything with my life...
I seriously have nothing. Really. No, truely, honestly, and all that jazz.
Shut up, Ass.
;-;

 

by Kuki
5-27-05
Ho ho HO! Cheese.
Whoa...robots on the moon. Do you happen to like-
-don't you dare say it.
Ho ho HO! Fake money!
It's Uncle Moneybags!
Yes, yes it is. See the shiny monocle?
Geez, Monoply sure was creepy. @.@
What are you doing?
You will give me your wallet. Uncle Moneybags is short of change.

 

by Kuki
6-02-05
Kuki has conversation...
So, lately I've had problems making coherent thoughts.
Who are you?
...about thinking about his lack of things to think about...
I mean, I can't think of a single thing to think of.
Why are you telling me this?
...I apparently hate myself. If you couldn't see that by now, then you're a dumbass. >_>
However, I do have the most interesting conversations with myself.
You have about two seconds to leave me be or I'll be forced to call in the big guns. And by that, I mean mace.

 

by Kuki
6-02-05
A convo with myself.
You're an idiot!
No I'm not, you are!
It was fun for the few minutes it lasted while on my way home from work.
Stop destroying my world!
Well, why not!? You destroyed mine!
You know, it'd be funnier if it weren't true...
That's on the point! I mean, it isn't fair!
Oh shut up and watch your precious psycho zone crumble around you! SUFFER!!!

 

by Kuki
6-16-05
A Mupp, a Mupp! A Mupp I do see. How irritating.
I'm Mupp, and this is my board. My little haven for flaming and fucking people over.
Enter the Kuki.
The first order of business, my business, is to...
...*hammers Mupp with a mace*
For the fucking win. Take that, you flaming fucktard. >_>
...ergh...
Shut the fuck up, Mupp! I'M IN CONTROL!

 

by Kuki
10-23-06
What. The. Hell. Making this is like...making me think of hangovers.
It's like, I've been dead. FOREVER.
And hangovers, are bad.
I could only wish.
GAH! DEVIL WOMAN!
I'll see what I can do.
Oh get over yourself.
WAAAAAAAAH!

 

by Kuki
10-23-06
Dammit, I keep getting ganked!
You play WoW entirely too much.
FUCK YOU WOMAN!
God, why can't you be normal?
Because then I'd be as boring as you, and then I'd probably kill myself. Which would make you entirely too happy.
You go to hell.

 

by Kuki
3-18-08
I told you I don't like you.
Why! WHY MUST YOU BE SO CRUEL!
Because.
That's no reason at all!
D:
Get me a sandwich.
I'M LEAVING!

 

by Kuki
3-18-08
I constantly forget I have this thing, and only notice it when I get bursts of creativity.
And then, and then she told me to get her a sandwich!
...who are you?
This is not one of those times.
You...you're supposed to be comforting me.
Leave, now, before I get angry.
...lawl.
You, you're a bitch too! I HATE YOU ALL.
I'm not applying for these comics anymore...

 

by Kuki
3-18-08
What did I eat for dinner..?
Oh god, please don't let him recognize me.
Mebbe it was a sandwich..or even stew..
Looks like he didn't notice me...
HAHAHAH HIPPIE!
God DAMMIT.

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