All comics by Lizardboy

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by Lizardboy
8-17-02
Lizardboy's adventures begin!
Yo B-man what's with tha gettup?
We're getting the crap blown out of us for prank calling george Dubya.
Whoa, what are the chances of this happening to just me!?

 

by Lizardboy
8-17-02
Lizardboy gets used to his new appearance
Doh! Those americans will pay for destroying my homeland!
I wouldn't bet on it, they have considerable militaristic might
(gasp) a talking flame, how unlike real life!
My eyes are down here, pal

 

by Lizardboy
8-17-02
Having been turned into his reptilian element, Lizardboy seeks solace...
Oh lord, how can I cope with being a non-humanoid life form?
Well, that coffee cup is a step in the right direction
Now try a copy of the 'Daily worker'

 

by Lizardboy
8-17-02
Lizardboy discovers a part of the web he never knew was there
Who are you?
I am Lizardboy, mutant creation! Who are you?
I am Croga, mighty scottish warrior!
Small world

 

by Lizardboy
8-18-02
H..hey, is that 'Doc LB'? I'm looking for about a kilo in white?
You got 'im. 'Doc LB, LSD, reefer, crack n' nose candy' Like they be sayin' n' shit.
Can you handle that kinda weight?
Yo betya, mo' fucka, ever wondered why they call tha white house 'Tha white house' ?

 

by Lizardboy
8-18-02
Ya mo' fucka why tha fuck d'you make Faith No More split up?
Lissen shortarse, I spread discord and hatred, plus as a good american it is my duty to abloush communism.
Die capitalist scum! I summon the angel of marxism to send you back to hell!
w' uh oh
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

by Lizardboy
8-18-02
Don't look at us, we're default characters. we haven't ever been interesting.
That's right, we were put here by a mad god who wanted vengeance upon the hosts of the living.
Dammit sheila, you just broke a perfect record.
anyone here into figure skating?

 

by Lizardboy
8-18-02
And another thing, keep your wallet someplace that's safe, cos you know what'll happen. Yes, it''l get nicked and I'm not lending you any more money.
Keep it down, these woods are probably full to busting with 'cong.
Relax, they cleaned these woods out back in '66. Waht's the worst that could happen?
Well our boys could napalm the woods if they saw any people like us there.
I think i saw somebody.
it's all in your head...

 

by Lizardboy
8-18-02
America was once a proud nation of frontiersmen and bold adventurers...
Well I'll be darned, Zeke.
You're Zeke. I'm Jed.
Soon those illustrious ancestors would be forgotten...
Bravo-1 this is echo alpha 2-7, Charlies sited.
Bhao Dai, pass me the kalashnikov, there's a dear.
What does the future hold for this vast nation??
It wasn't funny the first time.
Shocking thing is that we are the british.

 

by Lizardboy
8-18-02
Hey mike, there's a bird headed for your window
Where?
Bitchin, saves the missis from cooking tea!

 

by Lizardboy
8-19-02
Weeeell, looks like our aircraft is going down in a ball of flame
So much for going with EasyJet
At least it's sunny
I can see your house from here.

 

by Lizardboy
8-19-02
Soon our plans wil be complete! The world will be ruined forever!
What is your plan, Satan my master?
Something that will throw the world into disarray!
Ooh! can't wait.
What are you making, Bill gates?
I shall call it microsoft, it was an inspiration.

 

by Lizardboy
8-20-02
How's the evil going?
Excellent, soon my new company, microsoft, will monopolize the market!
Phase 1, Windows 95, will soon be done...
I'll go tell satan, he'll be pleased
...and when we find a bug, we'll make the customers pay for an upgrade!
Astonishing! That's even better than my idea for McDonalds.

 

by Lizardboy
8-20-02
We're married at last!
We sure are... but there's just one thing...
yes?
Who invited that retard Lizardboy?
Try and look innocent
I'm not letting him in our bathroom again.

 

by Lizardboy
9-22-02
Yo lobsta G! 'Sup with tha gettup?
uh huh... uh huh
Yo' pimpin biatch, what ya tryin' to say?
Uh, right, keeping cool, uh, dudes.
fuck's sake
Hey man I... still got some toast in my pocket... heh, wannit?

 

by Lizardboy
9-22-02
All the cool kids are doing it.
uh huh
Bow down to god now and get a free baseball cap with Jesus written on it.
Alpha, this is bravo, hostiles sited in sector 1-4
Can you feel the spirit of the lord?
LIke dude, I'm jewish

 

by Lizardboy
9-22-02
Lobster G, I am the spirit of the past...
All my toast is wet
retard

 

by Lizardboy
9-24-02
Another Unreal Tournament 'capture the flag' game...
You be dead!
argh!
At the red base...
HEY MAN, WHERE'S OUR FLAG?
I thought... you had it?
meanwhile...
Don't make a sound
Hark! What is that low hum I hear? 'Tis the sound of the redeemer, surely... I'm glad I'm immortal.

 

by Lizardboy
9-27-02
Hey lobster G, why are you in the sea?
Well like, why are like, you here?
Well, I can't survive above water
Interesting theory...
*Munch* Alright! that was good... hey lobster G, why are you in the sea?
Because I can't survive above water

 

by Lizardboy
9-27-02
Yo lobster G, not seen yo' long time
Well croga, I was in the atlantic ocean.
You mean, like, that sea between UK and america? Or the one in Lizardboy's cellar?
I need more toast

 

by Lizardboy
9-27-02
Lizardboy tries to get toast
Hey lobster G, got any toast?
Of course I have toast, but you already have coffee.
It's not very nice coffee
Then why are you always drinking it?

 

by Lizardboy
9-27-02
At last! the weekend! blissful peace at last!
Yes now I can get back to what i was doing...
What was that?
Ysbreker: and the air tastes sweeter! says: Lizardboy, give me that fucking Deus Ex level NOW.

 

by Lizardboy
9-27-02
Hey webbie
Hey merl, why are you so remarkably thin all of a sudden?
Why are you taller than me all of a sudden?
I blame lizardboy for creating this comic
I dunno...
How else would you explain my sudden good taste in clothing?

 

by Lizardboy
9-27-02
Raaah!
I'm bored

 

by Lizardboy
9-28-02
fredthebigpimp has joined #mechwars
i think i gotta put a standard of who i recruit
most of the retards in my clan keep saying to me
"get me unbanned in #mechwars"

 

by Lizardboy
9-28-02
The battle commences!
*blinks*
I am the winner!

 

by Lizardboy
9-30-02
Crap I just blinked. good thing I'm wearing this hood...
Sorcy wins!
*blinks*
I am the winner! hahaha!

 

by Lizardboy
9-30-02
So I said, 'Well those turbine rotors sure ain't gonna generate gravitons by themselves!'
Alpha, this is bravo, hostiles sited , preparing to use lethal force, over.
Flub is through to semi finals with Lizardboy and sorcy...
I'm the winner! yehaaw!
*blink*

 

by Lizardboy
9-30-02
Artanix wins by 0.00012 seconds
*blinks*
*blinks*

 

by Lizardboy
10-05-02
Welcome to Hanoi, north vietnam, where the vietcong and the US forces are engaged in a deadly staring contest that could decide the war!
It's looking bad for the vietcong... the US outstaring 10 to every 1 that the VC can outstare...
Well look at these fantastic guerilla tactics! Communism may just yet thrive!
*blinks*

 

by Lizardboy
10-05-02
Welcome to the forests of the mekong delta, where US forces are continuing the long staring contest against the North vietnamese army.
With most of the US forces obliterated by surprise staring attacks by NVA using sunglasses, Private jones is looking worried...
Well would you look at that! Incredible tactics! Charlie had better watch out!
*blink*

 

by Lizardboy
11-04-02
Fredthebigpimp has joined #wicca
y0
'sup fred
What will become of our hero? Find out... next!

 

by Lizardboy
11-08-02
fredthebigpimp and platon talk in the Suggestions forum...
I suggest: Unit Member --> Unit Leader --> Squad Member --> Squad Commander in my eyes it makes sense =)
Wouldn't it make more sense with: Unit Member -> Squad Member -> Unit Commander -> Squad CommanderOr? :-) Martin
well it depends what ranking system you use i think. i use one where there is an elite squad and 'Squad Member' would benefit nicely =P
oh yeh make a gimp mech too

 

by Lizardboy
11-09-02
While cruisin' the streets, fredthebigpimp is confronted my a ghostly phantom...
Behold, fred! I am Ezekiel, the arch nemesis of terror!
Uhhuh? Whassup bro?
You cannot stop me! My powerul fortress shall keep thee out!
Now hol' up bro, You on my turf sucka. You're fortress is mine.
Fool!

 

by Lizardboy
11-09-02
fredthebigpimp goes in search of Ezekiel's fortress, so he can hexpand his territoreh.
Yo hippie shit, where's the secret fortress of ezekiel?
Next to the post office maaan. Want a pamphlet about peace n' stuff?
Hol'up there, is this da fortress of ezekiel?
It is, but thou shalt not enter, ever! Muahahahaha! I guard this entrance... forever!
Hey look, I found this leaflet about peace n' stuff... want it?
*Gasp* That's it, I be gone.

 

by Lizardboy
11-09-02
fredthebigpimp enters ezekiel's fortress
Aaagh! A pimp!!! How did you get inside!?
Coolit man, I showed the guard some hippie propaganda.
Damn you and your commie allies! You shall not pass!
I'm looking for tha toilets.
Okay, third corridor on the left.

 

by Lizardboy
11-10-02
Fred infiltrates Ezekiel's fortress
Ezekiel! You be dead, motherfucker!
Fool! you cannot destroy me! I am just a holographic image! I don't even look like a paperclip in real life!
Real paperclips don't have eyes, Biatch.
Sure they do, Except they keep them closed when they're being watched.
Uh, right. Did I mention I'm gonna cap yo ass?
Fool!

 

by Lizardboy
11-10-02
Owing to recent develpments, this comic will not be available.
It appears that Fredthebigpimp hexpanded onto lizardboy's territoreh after sending him anthrax in the post.
'The adventures of fredthebigpimp' Will be back when lizardboy has recovered and Fred gets the tag off his ankle.

 

by Lizardboy
11-13-02
Fredthebigpimp meets the assassin who speaks in Bar codes.
Bitch, what yo got in that bag?
I||II||I|I|
Oh right, thasscool.
|I|I|I|I|I|I
Now lissen bud, that ain't nice.
|I||I|||I

 

by Lizardboy
11-13-02
Don't make me use my 1337 powers, bar code man.
II||I||I||I
*thwop*
You either got it or yo haven't, and buddy yo ain't even close.

 

by Lizardboy
11-13-02
Having defeated the Bar code assassin, Our hero reaches the Lab in ezekiels fortress.
Man, you one bald fucka! Who tha fuck is yo?
Fool! I am Doctor Slinkenstein, and my creation will destroy you! Glork, Attack!
It's a fucking squirrel.
Shit

 

by Lizardboy
11-13-02
You may have defeated my squirrel, but you cannot defeat my new creation!
Hooome hooome on the raaaaange, where the deers and the antelopes plaaaaay, where seldom is heard a discouraging word, and the skies are not cloudy all daaaay
You must be stopped.
Yes, I suppose so.

 

by Lizardboy
11-13-02
Within Ezekiel's fortress, Fred does battle with Slinkenstein's monster.
I don't stand a chance, even my 1337 powers bounce off it!
Rollin rollin rollin, though the streets are swollen, keep them dogies rollin, rawhiiiiide
Yo monster thingy
What?
Yup, me too
Can I audition you for a musical of 'Lucky luke' ?
Aaaaaagh! I'm gone already!

 

by Lizardboy
11-14-02
Nooo! You scared off my monster! Eat Paralysis Ray, Pimp!
Thinking quickly, Fred unleashes his 1337 powers against Dr. Slinkenstein...
*thwop*
Being a streetwise man, fredthebigpimp would never quite realise the evil he had just defeated. Indeed, fred considered nothing more evil than the country/western music he had so far survived.
Sucka

 

by Lizardboy
11-14-02
The evil Ezekiel plots against the brave fredthebigpimp
Thootar, Activate the Funky purple swirling vortex generator!
Yes my liege.
Fred is sucked into the Funky Purple Swirling Vortex...
Whoa Mama
How will our hero escape this predicament? find out, next!
Wank.
Howdy

 

by Lizardboy
11-14-02
Fredthebigpimp is confronted by a being of absolute evil...
Now I'm gonna sing y'all a little song...
Gotta get outta here...
A fortuitous cosmic ray eliminates the demon...
*WOOMPH*
Hot damn
Greetings earth creature. I was just off to Kentucky to make some crop circles, and noticed your predicament. Want a lift home?
Sounds good little grey buddy.

 

by Lizardboy
11-14-02
Fredthebigpimp is rescued from certain country/western music by an alien creature.
I owe ya one homeboy.
No worries, Earth pimp.
Oh and thanks for the lift, too.
No problem. Ready to head back to your city?
Sure, drop me at Ezekiel's fortress of evil...
Is that a strip joint?

 

by Lizardboy
11-14-02
Fredthebigpimp lands on the roof of Ezekiel's fortress...
Shouts for da trip, Throogaz.
Always a pleasure, Fred.
Now to defeat... Ezekiel!
Moments later, Fred finds the top floor entrance.
Is this da top floor entrance?
None shall pass!

 

by Lizardboy
11-14-02
Fred fights his way past ezekiel's Guards using his 1337 powers
*thwop*
None shall pa...
*thwop*
None sha...
This is too easy, what's the catch?
Brains!

 

by Lizardboy
11-14-02
Fred comes up against.... a Zombie!
Uh, you be a Zombie, uh huh?
Brains!
Yo ripped yo arm off. Do yo attack people with it?
Brains!
So it's like 'Armed combat' then. Ha ha ha ha ha.
Brains!

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