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Upon returning from vacation...
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| Good afternoon. You must be the rightful owner of this house. I am the elderly squatter who has taken up residence within your domicile while you were away. Note my horrible odor and lack of a shirt. | |
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| You're welcome to stay with us if you like. Oh, just make sure you avoid the basement-- thirty or so hobos live down there now. And some of them are quite territorial. | |
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| Sir! Tarry a moment, please! We're about to cook and eat your cat-- would you like to join us? | |
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