The Suicide File

Thank God I don't do this for a living.

Hello, you have reached The Suicide File Hotline, how are you going to die today?
I just got a damn virus on my computer! My computer won't even turn on! MY COMPUTER IS MY LIFE!
Whoah, whoah... your computer is your life?
YES, YES! I HAVE NO NEED TO LIVE ANYMORE!!!
Don't do it. There is life after the computer.
NO! I'M DOWNLOADING THE TROJAN VIRUS INTO MY BODY AS WE SPEAK!

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The Suicide File

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