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| Welcome back to Channel Juan News. In Entertainment today, Hollywood is honoring emoting-challenged actor Freddie Prinze Jr. with a star on the Walk of Fame. | |
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| It is rumored that Sarah Michelle Gellar purchased this star as a way to convince her hubby Mr. Prinze to stop saying 'I'm going to stake YOU, Buffy!' every time they have sex. | |
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| Yesterday in an exclusive press junket, Mr. Prinze thanked Chuck Norris, and the Chuck Norris School of Acting, for teaching him the acting methods that helped him excel. | |
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| The ceremony went off without a hitch, despite protests by Hollywood trees, who claim that Hollywood is discriminatory in hiring Mr. Prinze when they could do the job so much better. | |
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| Mr. Prinze was quoted today as saying, "Latinos everywhere will rejoice knowing that another one of their own has a star on the Walk of Fame. There are so few of us there as it is." | |
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| In related news, police have arrested Edward James Olmos, Rita Moreno, Jimmy Smits, Andy Garcia, and Antonio Banderas for the savage beating death of Freddie Prinze, Jr. | |
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