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| *Ring ring* "Hi, you rang Jesus's phone. I'm not in right now, I'm probably out dieing for your sins or something. Leave a message after the beep, and I'll get back to you." | |
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| *Beep* "Hi. Jesus, could you pick up? You were acting like a total asshole today Jesus. Could you pick up?" | |
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| I can't pick up! I'm tied to a cross! | |
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