All comics by Ms_Guided

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by Ms_Guided
9-23-04
Friday 6:32pm Doo & Marco in their apartment...
Doo...there's a nail in your head! Wassup with that?!?
I got a BIGGER one with YOUR NAME on it, Pony-Boy!!!
7 minutes earlier...
Dear Doo-Little...I never knew that nickname would become so poignant...I'm sorry, but size does matter. Oh by the way...I've also been sleeping with your roommate Marco. -I'm Outtie, Jillian
23 minutes earlier...
Yeah, I'm not going to the show tonite. Jillian says she has somethin special waitin for me in my bedroom....What can I say, Dude?!?!? The chick can't get enough of my package!!!
Lucky Bastard!!!

 

by Ms_Guided
9-23-04
Once again, Jim can't leave Hellen Uff alone!
Aw, crap! Don't tell me it's Pagan Date Night at the coffee house again???
It's called "Witches Meet-Up", Mocky McClueless! It's a great way to mingle with other Solitary Practioners and learn the craft...
The whole thing's a sham...All you're going to meet are horny 43 yr old ex-hippies named Dragon, or at best some Gothic Prick with black nails and a bootleg Bau Haus CD in his mom's Buick Le Sabre!
Look, Jim, don't make me call the 4 corners on your ass!
What'd I say?????????
I wonder if that hot High Priest RavenSpit will be there?? "...La la la...Bela Lugosi is Deaddddd..."

 

by Ms_Guided
9-23-04
After another chafing conversation with my mom...
"Ruh-roh!! Raggggy!!!! Relp! Relp!!!"
I can't believe my mother...How can she say I need to grow up???
I search through the recesses of my mind, listing all the qualities within me that show I'm a responsible adult!!!
"Hey, Fred, it sounds like Scooby-Doo is in trouble!!!!"
I mean... I got my own place, I have a great job, I'm raisin my kid by myself....
Ahhh...The Sweet Nectar of Self-Clarity!!!!
"Jinkies, there are 3 ghosts in the Ice Cream factory...Chocolate, Vanilla & Strawberry!!!!"
No fuckin way!!! This is the one where the Gang meets Mama Cass!!!!

 

by Ms_Guided
9-24-04
Marco and Limey Pete take a road trip to our nation's capital...
Hey, Marco...Thanks for the road trip to D.C.! I always wanted to see the White House...plus I heard you can score some cheap blow at Lincoln's Memorial!!!
No problemo. Steve's tired of me crashin on his couch, anyway. He keeps bitchin about me eatin all his Hot Pockets. It's a total drag.
Why are you ridin his sofa? You have a sweet apartment with Doo.
Naw, Man. He kicked my ass out the last Friday for bangin his girl...Now she had a "Hot Pocket!"
Hey isn't that the room where Monica smoked the President???
Dude, you gotta be P.C. in D.C. ...the correct phrase is she "Hailed the Chief!"

 

by Ms_Guided
9-24-04
After finishing Dr. Phil's "Self Matters"...I could see the forest, despite the trees...
"Hey Gang, let's hurry up and go to the barn dance! Ret's ro, Raggy!! Gee, even Scooby's ready to get going!!"
Wow, that Dr. Phil really knows what he's talkin about. My life finally has order and makes sense.
"Gee, Scoob...this banana, mustard, pickle, salami, tuna, sauerkraut sundae sure was a great idea...Yoiks! Who turned out the lights???"
My check book's balanced, my bed is made, dvd's alphabetized. Mandy, you are FINALLY a MATURE ADULT!!!
Well, crap...nothing lasts forever.
"CREEEEEPER!!! CREEEEEEPER!!!!!!!!"
Oh, HOT DAMN!!! The Creeper episode!!! (singin)"Daydreamin, head's in the sand. Daydreamin, gee but it's grand..."

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