All comics by NoNewWitticisms

Profile

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-20-02
at the cophie shoppe: jon and leslie discuss their hobbies.
i like porn.
yeah. me too.
but, o! they are the same person!
i like porn.
yeah. me too.
at the cophie shoppe: jon and leslie die at an earlie age.
i like porn.
yeah. me too.

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-20-02
jon reflects upon his life.
i'm so alone..
someday i'm gonna have a meaningful relationship.
and then i'm going to die.
*sigh*
..at least i have that sandwich to look forward to..

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-20-02
a reflection upon the meaning of life
b'kaw!
the end

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-20-02
jon encounters a beatnik
y'gotta open your miiind, man..
avra kedavra
o, the black bile

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-20-02
at the cophie shoppe:
..why are you me?

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-20-02
jon reflects upon his life.
i always knew i was special..
... . ..i've been wrong before.
the end

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-20-02
jon reflects upon the meaning of life
once i saw a dead dog amongst the reflective orange barrell alongside the road.
it made me start think about reincarnation.
and porn.
the end

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-20-02
jon reflects upon the meaning of life
once i saw a dead dog amongst the orange reflective barrels alongside the road
it made me start thinking about reincarnation
and porn
the end

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-20-02
drunken, jon asks fifi to marry him.
marry *hic* me!
uh-oh.. scary gay man wants to marry me!
fifi deftly dodges the subject.
you're drunk.
mission accomplished.
MY MAKEUP!

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-20-02
876-430traaaain!
876-430traaaain!
(he escaped from my nose)

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-20-02
11:00 AM
12:00 PM
*sigh*
1:00 PM

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-20-02
Hello. my name is LiceJournal.
I reccommend doing as I say, for I am your new God.
BRING ME MUFFINS!

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-20-02
Yes, it is I, LiceJournal, your new God, and this is Petunia, my Oral Sex Minion.
mmrfl
As you can imagine, there was quite a bit of competition for her job, but she had excellent references.
mmrmfml
And her resume was printed on the scrotum-skin of her enemies.
mmrfl

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-20-02
i told them i was going to have a makeover/gay porn party, and that they were all invited.
but they live in canada.

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-20-02
then i told them that all the boys had to do shirley temple impersonations to get in.
no takers.

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-20-02
i said i'd make brian buy alcohol.
i did that.

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-20-02
Hello, LiceJournal here! It has come to my attention that a certain someone has STOLEN my idea, mutilated it, and is doing a fuck-of-alot better job at it than am I!
"Dear Fuckwad: Piss Off!!! Love, LiceJournal"

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-20-02
so i was walking down the street the other day and saw this midget with a toupee.
..uh-huh?
right--and he keeps walking towards me, and i realize that it's not a toupee, it's a soccer ball..
..uh-huh?
jon's television's sound kicks out at a most inopportune moment.
when he finally reaches me, ask him, "hey, what's up with the soccer ball?" and he says, "what, this? it's to ke__ ___ ___ ____ ___s!"
b'WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! damn, that was funny!!

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-20-02
Hi, my name is Osama bin Laden.
You may know me from such programs as "CNN News Today" and "Gettin' Fit with Richard Simmons."
an evil genious, to be sure.
My next appearance will be on prime time CBS. No one will ever see me!
bwahaha..

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-20-02
They say that God is forgiving. But I don't believe in God.
Some others say that God is vengeful. I still don't believe in God.

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-20-02
Current Music: "Fight Club"
ZZZZZZ
Current Mood: Asleep
ZZZZZZ
Sorry, LiceJournal is experiencing technical difficulties. Fuck off and we'll deal with it when we bloody well feel like it.
ZZZZZZ

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-20-02
your approval means more to me than is probably healthy.
jon, you scare me.
want me to write a strip about it?
weirdo.

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-20-02
jon runs away to become a hermit.
wow. it's lonley out here.
the end

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-20-02
i'm an alcoholic
but it doesn't matter
i like porn
feh

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-20-02
every group i'm in, i'm the gay one.
...............jon ponders briefly...............
people call each other cocksucker, and it's an insult. they never say it to me.
people are fucking tools.

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-20-02
humor.
jon..
you're out of blood..
o, the black bile.
indeed.

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-20-02
jon reflects upon the meaning of life.
yeah.
i suck cock.
got a problem with it?
what a tool.

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-20-02
jon is under attack.
so you didn't like being a whorebunny.
well, really! was it that hard to find a decent-looking girl?
err.. um.. well..
yeah, that's what i thought, y'shmuck.
i still controll you. i'm writing this, y'know.
fuck. you.

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-20-02
LiceJournal speaks to the huddled masses:
Having recieved several threatening emails, I fixed the small glitch on the LiceJournal server.
hmm..
You remember when we had gay waiters and frumpy waitresses? Now all we have are servers. Servers SUCK.
[insert punchline here]

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-20-02
LiceJournal speaks to the huddled masses:
Having recieved several threatening emails, I fixed the small glitch on the LiceJournal server.
hmm..
You remember when we had gay waiters and frumpy waitresses? Now all we have are servers. Servers SUCK.
[insert punchline here]

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-21-02
monkeygirl reflects
i never thought i'd make someone sink to this level. i'm forcing jon to create a more flattering comic about me.
so far it's not going so well, is it?
i'm a cynical bastard, what can i say?

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-21-02
i'm getting frustrated. jon's making me into something i'm not.
i'm not a frumpy helen hunt wannabe, am i?
they don't have monkeys on stripcreator.
that's no excuse.

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-21-02
jon reflects.
i'm too pretty for my own good.

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-21-02
jon gets a job babysitting:
..and that's how anal sex works!
i wonder if that was appropriate.

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-21-02
Introducing: LiceJournal's mama.
Hello! It is I, Mrs. Liza Journal, Licey's mother.
Licey's been feeling a bit under the weather for the last four years.
Something about a virus.
f33t

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-21-02
Hank has a question.
Jesus, what's the meaning of life?-
. . .
Your eyes look like boobs.

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-21-02
Jon recites Poe's Annabelle Lee.
It was many and many a year ago, In a kingdom by the sea, That a maiden there lived whom you may know By the name of Annabelle Lee...
..And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side Of my darling, my darling, my life and my bride, In the sepulcher there by the sea, In her tomb by the sounding sea.

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-21-02
One hundred percent of smokers DIE.
..Or so they'd have us believe.

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-21-02
i LOVE boys who don't wear underpants.
Or overpants.

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-21-02
straight boys SUCK!
ironic, isn't it?

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-22-02
i always thought that no matter how blue your rectangle got, there was always hope.
god, i was dense.

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-22-02
hey, look at me, i'm flying!
AND i'm naked from the waist down!

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-22-02
jon reflects upon his life.
sometimes i wish i had somewhere to go.
never again.

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-22-02
..and so, the day was saved, thanks to: The Good Humor Man!

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-22-02
i do.
i do.
see ya later..
he didn't.

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-23-02
i've been standing here for thirty-six hours.
damn, i wish i had a stool.
..sorry, can't help you. doctor's orders.
o, the black bile!

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-24-02
jon reflects upon his stripcreator existence.
i'm beginning to wonder why i associate myself with this pink donkey.
there's so many more logical characters to use, but this one..
this one definately captures the essence of jon.
wouldn't you say?

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-24-02
(insert punchline here)

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-27-02

 

by NoNewWitticisms
1-28-02
ohh..
this is just wrong..
i *LIKE* it!

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