All comics by OMG_DaGmAr_6481987

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INTRODUCING...LZOORUMEKSLKJHUH!
I AM A BUM. MY NAME IS LZOORUMEKSLKJHUH.
IN HELL WITH A SNOWMAN.
OH THE AGONY. WOE IS ME.
Frohlichte Weinachten und eine gluckliches neues Jahr!!
WHY AM I STANDING HERE IN HELL WITH A SNOWMAN?
WHAT?!

 

Bob comes on a mighty steed to bring a message from the king.
I have come on a mighty steed to bring a message from the king.
I need to get out of here.
Bob comes on a mighty steed to bring a message from the king.
I have come on a mighty steed to bring a message from the king.
What is it?
Bob comes on a mighty steed to bring a message from the king.
*explosion*
I hate technology...

 

The genie.
I am the genie of the lamp and I will grant you...well I can't count past one so I'll grant you a wish.
Get me out of hell.
Not in hell anymore.
Great. Now I am stuck in a dungeon. Thank you.
Are you making fun of me? You know, I ought to just put you back.
In hell again.
Dangit.
I've been getting lonely without you.

 

I am TIRED of hell! I will do myself in!
No! I will get lonely again!!
Go melt.
...
Introducing...frozen Brad!
...
Cold...so...cold...

 

Hey. Let's play "Jacques a dit." (Jahkz ay diht.)
...
...
I thought it was French, like "Jacques a dit." (Jahks ah deet.)
The text in this panel has been censored due to obscene language used by the character "LZOORUMEKSLKJHUH."
lol! I thought you said "Spread it, bit*h!"
...

 

LZOORUMEKSLKJHUH recieves a letter...
Dear Miss/Ms./Mrs. LZOORUMEKSLKJHUH:"
It is very boring.
Due to the use of obscene language... blah blah yada yada...2nd article 4th code...mmhmm...you are exiled from hell.....blah blah blah
Frozen Brad is cold.
Did you hear that? I'm going home!
Poor poor LZOORUMEKSLKJHUH! It's even COLDER out there!

 

LZOORUMEKSLKJHUH is stuck in the dungeon again.
I HATE it in here.
Uhh...hi again.
YOU again! Did you do this?
You know, you can't blame me for everything.
Well, you're right. You ARE better than the snowman or Frozen Brad.
You know how much I hate you?

 

The genie has something to tell LZOORUMEKSLKJHUH.
I have something to tell you.
What is it?
I'M BIPOLAR.
OMG OMG OK THINK LZOORUMEKSLKJHUH, THINK
Okay. I'm ready to die. Take me now.
Shut up. I'm reading!

 

Wait a minute. Why can't you just get us out of here with your genie magic?
...Well...It's like this:
I can only give 1 wish every 200 years.
So we're stuck in here for 200 years.
Basically.

 

I will now do myself in!
You gotta stop doing that. How many times have you done that so far?
Uhh...this'll be the second.
Why don't you just get it over with already?
Don't hurt me!!!
I like flowers.

 

The Genie has something to tell LZOORUMEKSLKJHUH.
I have something to tell you.
You're bipolar. I know.
No. Something else.
What is it then?
The Genie has something to tell LZOORUMEKSLKJHUH.
Remember when I used to ride your school bus and you used to call me "Hot Pants" and always said I was an arrogant jerk?
Omi gosh. This is definately worse.

 

The chances of us escaping from this cubicle are 1 in 2. I will calculate the distance from here to the window...
::nodding off:: zZzzZZzzz...
Blah blah Blah blah Blah blah Blah blah Blah blah Blah blah Blah blah Blah blah...::echo::
LZOORUMEKSLKJHUH... hey are you there? ::echo::
Huh? oh...I'm awake.
Grr.

 

So what's your big idea?
I suppose that if we could just find a sample of rope, we can easily use the rope to climb ourselves out of the prison.
Umm, you're kind of stupid.
Why do you say that?
We can climb without the rope. I am as tall as the window.
I was just making sure you were awake.

 

I'm free! ::celebrates::
Wait. Where are we?
The bottom of the ocean. What does it look like?
That was a rhetorical question.
What is a ree-tohr-ik-al question?
You just asked one.

 

Wait. If I'm under the ocean...
Yes...?
How am I supposed to be breathing?
...
I hope that was a rhetorical question.

 

LZOORUMEKSLKJHUH tries to do herself in again...
I HATE THIS PLACE! I WILL NOW TRY TO DO MYSELF IN!
Ok. Putting a nail through your head obviously is not working, although it seems like a conventional method to commit this horrid and cowardly crime against oneself we call "suicide."
Umm.
Fine. Umm...
Umm?
Why are we standing under the sand?
Stupid comic rendering program.

 

LZOORUMEKSLKJHUH has thought of something.
You know, I've finally thought of something.
What?
If we're under the ocean, why can't we just swim out?
I've never contemplated that.
I don't like contemporary. I prefer old and majestic. AND I don't like plates. I prefer dishes.
No...

 

What shall I do with my newfound freedom? I know! I'll go get a face lift.
Physical deformities do not determine someone's personality.
Maybe we should go talk to Dagmar.
But she's got an ugly nose.
Ahem: "Physical deformities do not determine someone's personality."
Did I say that?

 

Dagmar! How has life been?
It was good up until you brought Hot Pants here.
Why? I thought you liked him.
No, I think he's hot. He's such a jerk. I deserve better.
You do. And what have I told you all these years?
That I should go out with him.

 

You know what happened while I was gone?
No. What happened?
I was in hell with a snowman and then Frozen Brad showed up and then I was in prison with Hot Pants and he turned into the genie and we escaped and fell into the ocean.
What kind of drugs are you on?
None. Why?
That's what I was afraid of.

 

So when did you become a hippie?
When I found the shirt at Wal-mart for about 5 bucks.
And the sunglasses?
Wal-mart.
The shoes? The pants? The accessories? The drugs?! Wal-mart, right?
No. I got them from the Internet.

 

Do you want to come see my house?
You have a house?
ANNOUNCEMENT: LZOORUMEKSLKJHUH has a house.
Yeah. It's the first pane of the first comic, remember?
Oh. Ok. Let's go.
ANNOUNCEMENT: LZOORUMEKSLKJHUH no longer has a house.
WHERE is my HOUSE?!
You have a house?

 

I no longer have a house, so I shall do myself in!
OH MY GOSH SHE'S KILLING HERSELF ::runs around screaming::
Don't freak out. She's done it a hundred times. Hey! Did you know that I'm a genie?
Wow...that is sooooo...unimpressive.
Come on. I'm tring to make conversation.
You spelled "trying" wrong.

 

What am I going to do now? I have no house.
Become a hippie like me.
LZOORUMEKSLKJHUH becomes a hippie!
Ok. How's this?
Good. Ok let's go.
Now that I am a hippie like you, can we have drugs now?
Umm...the drugs don't want you.

 

Ok, so the hippie thing didn't exactly work. What now?
Hmm...
Hmm.
OO. I know!
That is not EVEN funny.

 

Okay. Now I'm in the middle of the South Pole with a fish.
Not very talkative, are you?
It's so hot...
Don't sing.
::sings:: It's getting hot in here...

 

Who are you?
Uhh, I'm Satan's nephew Ray and I'm not allowed in hell anymore.
Where did the fish go?
I ate it.
You. ate. the fish.
It's hot out here.

 

How come I keep ending up in obscure places like this?
Well, I don't want to tell you...
It's you, isn't it?
No, it's not me.
Then who is it?
That girl Dagmar you hang with...she's kinda creepy, isn't she?

 

Dagmar, I hate you.
It's not me. It's the snowman. Haven't you figured that out yet?
I mean really. Why would I be here too?
Good point.
The snowman must like boats.

 

What am I doing here again?
Well, I don't know, but I decided to put back on my costume and act like an idiot for fun again.
I want some cvhocolate.
Oo! Cvhocolate! Cvhocolate is my favorite flavor in the whole wide world! I love cvhocolate!
That was a typo, smarta**.
Lighten up.

 

This is another one of those banishment letters.
Oh boy.
There is nothing interesting about this letter.
Can I read it?
AAUGH! HE'S GONNA KILL ME AGAIN! ::squeal::
I honestly don't know where the knife came from! I swear!

 

OO. I know a new game to play.
What?
Let's see how long we can keep up a conversation without laughing.
Umm...that's really stupid.
Why?
Only insane people laugh.

 

Will you stop laughing? We have to start playing the game!
Hee hee!
Come on, work with me!
Hee hee ha ha!
OMG HE'S CRAZY!!!
Hee....

 

OK. Here we go. Hi.
Hi. ::chuckle::
YOU BROKE IT! Let's start again. Hi.
Hi.
Uhh...what is with the box?
Hee hee...

 

OK! LET US TRY AGAIN! Hi.
Hi...::snicker::
You broke it once again!!! Hi.
Look. I am SICK and TIRED of this stupid game! Why don't we just climb out the window again?!
Every time we climb out a window or get banished, we always end up in a different place.
That's true. Ok let's play. Hi.

 

Ok. Why aren't we in the prison?
Umm...I don't know.
You know, I'm gonna kill this snowman.
Did you...say...the word...
"Kill?"
OMG OMG OMG OMG...

 

Ok...That's enough...
Stop the background changes...
WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!
::sniffle:: You told me to go melt!

 

I'm not apologizing.
Fine.
::sigh:: How long will I have to go through this?
Until I find a good place where you can go without getting banished or being able to escape.
Ok...::waits::
Shut up.

 

::waits::
::waits::
::waits::

 

::waits::
::waits::
WILL YOU STOP STARING AT ME?!
You told me to shut up.
Do as I say, not as I do...or something like that!

 

Ok, I'm bored.
Let's sing a song! ~I love you...
No oh gosh no!!!!
~You love mee....
You don't like Barney?
Yes! I do! I DOO!!!

 

Uhh...who are you and what did you do with the genie?
I ate it.
You...how could you?!
Woo hoo!!! ::celebrates:: No more genie! No more Hot Pants!
?

 

::celebrating::
::celebrating::
::ZAP!::
EEP! ::freezes::
No more genie, huh?

 

OH MY GOSH It's a floating arm!!
Wait a minute...If there is a floating arm here...
That means there's no more genie! ::Celebrates::

 

You know, if you haven't figured it out yet, I am changing myself into all these stupid shapes to entertain myself.
I knew that.
Oh really?
I am celebrating to endertain myself.
You spelled entertain wrong.
Oh shut up.

 

You know, Halloween is coming up soon.
Yeah, and...?
What are you going to be?
Umm...I think I'll be...
A serial killer.
EEK!

 

Why did I find a block of cheese in my suitcase full of drugs?
That is not a block of cheese. That is a knife.
Oh. I'm sorry. Let me put this back.
Maybe you should get your eyes checked.
What did you say?
I'm sorry!

 

I'm so tired of this place!!! Mein Gott, Mein Gott, warum haben Sie forsaken mich?
Je ne parle pas francais.
I was speaking German, not French. If I were to speak French I would say "Mon Dieu, mon Dieu, pourquoi avez-vous abandonné moi?"
Ich spreche kein Deutsch.
Oh my gosh you're so stupid.
No, I'm just capable of responding to what you say with a different language.

 

LZOORUMEKSLKJHUH and the Genie (Hot Pants) speak French
Je voudrais une pizza du fromage.
I would like a pizza with cheese.
The snowman and Frozen Brad speak French
Je voudrais un hamburger du fromage.
I would like a hamburger with cheese.
Dagmar and Noonie(as in NooniePuuBunny) speak French
Je voudrais une glace du fromage.
I would like an ice cream with cheese.

 

LZOORUMEKSLKJHUH and the genie (Hot Pants) speak German
Ich möchte eine Kartoffel mit Schlagsahne.
I would like a potato with whipped cream.
The snowman and Frozen Brad speak German
Ich möchte ein Eis mit Schlagsahne.
I would like an ice cream with whipped cream.
Dagmar and Noonie speak German
Ich möchte eine Wurst(sausage) mit Schlagsahne.
Das geht. (That's ok)

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