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www.planetside.com - the new Digital Crack(tm)

 

Serpus vs. Elian by PenguinPS 6-05-03
A typical day on the forums... WTF WHY ARE U SO LAME STFU N00B1!!1!! CRBYBAY PHOOHD WYH R U SOP MEEEANIEE!?1!/! HELOOOOOO!!1!1	UR LMAE STFU WWW.DICTIONARY.COM U MUSHHEAD I DON TLIKE U!! I MEEN HEEELLLLLOOOOOOO!1/1? HAHHAHAHA	Don't you get tired of this, Spork? Quiet, this is the only fun I get on the forums.

 

Research... by PenguinPS 6-05-03
Chavr hard at work ...and unanchored RoF (5.4 rps). This is if every round hits. Considering misses due to CoF expansion I'd say this number is more likely 50dps (1.8 misses out of 5.4 rounds). The CoF unanchored is...	...confusing. The VS shot does plasma like damage. Your basically seeing 30dmg for each pulse and the shot does 3 pulses. If you hit every single round and don't allow time for burn then the shots...	Wow, how do his numbers compare to ours, Smoke? What numbers?

 

Need a Ride? by PenguinPS 6-05-03
Just another day...	...	I hate the vehicle term...

 

Much Ado About MAXes by PenguinPS 6-05-03
One fateful day... Hey Twist, you seen Spork around?		I'm down here.

 

Comic Junkies by PenguinPS 6-05-03
Heh, a Serpus bot...why didn't I think of this earlier? Serpus=Elian=Spork! Everyone's going to love this...	Oh man...MAX nerfs...I'm going to have a field day with this...bring in the Serpus bot. Spork buried in flames. This is genius!	Hey Penguin, you think we might ever actually play the game? Why? This is so much fun.

 

Base Cappin' by PenguinPS 6-05-03
After a long, grueling battle: How long we got left on the hack? 13:49		So how's the wife?

 

Patch Aftermath by PenguinPS 6-05-03
Two months after the TR MAX change... I think they're almost done, Spork. Really?	Whew...	We're cutting down the jackhammer next week. Mommy.

 

Wishful Thinking? by PenguinPS 6-05-03
Hey, Intrepid, Penguin, Gravecross and JohnnySmash are pretty funny guys. I think I'll give them a free month.	I just have to press this button, and... Don't even think about it, Spork.	Maybe not.

 

Primetime on Emerald by PenguinPS 6-05-03
Heh, this guy is sooooo dead...	Oh no, he saw me!	What are you doing? I killed you two minutes ago. You're a backpack, dude. ^%@#! lag!

 

What? by PenguinPS 6-06-03
Hey, check out this comic I made about the MAX nerfs.	I don't get it... Are you joking? Look at it. That's Spork, and he's BURIED in FLAMES. I MEEEN, HELLLLOOOOOO!!?1/1/?? HAHAHHAAHHHA!!1/!?1//?	. . . . . . what?

 

Serpus vs. Serpus??? by PenguinPS 6-06-03
WTF? STFU NOOB TAKE THAT BRIEFCASE AND SHOVE IT!!!!	Damn, this thing really does act like me on the forums. WHY DON'T U GO BACK TO SCHOOL AND PLAY KIDDIE STFU WTF!!!11!1!!	LEARN TO SPELL WWW.DICTIONARY.COM DIDN'T UR MOM TEACH YOU!11!11!!! Intrepid, how the hell did you do that? It's creeping me out.

 

Motives... by PenguinPS 6-06-03
Maybe if I put Spork in enough of my comics, he'll notice my threads more often...	Hehehe...and now for a "Comic"-class stealth bump...	At SOE's offices... Are you kidding me? This one isn't even funny.

 

24/7 by PenguinPS 6-06-03
Brought to you by the minds at SOE... AAAAARGH! Help me!!	...a battleground where war rages, 24/7... DIE DIE STFU DIE BEEP BEEP BEEP!!!1!!1! You'll pay for that, I'll see to it!	...and you don't even need to bring a gun. Man, these forums are rough... Yeah. I hope the game is just as intense.

 

Aesthetics by PenguinPS 6-07-03
Another day, another patch... Did you see the new patch notes? The devs are going to nerf us into oblivion!	Uh, do you even know what aesthetic means? That was the only weapon I ever used, too. Now it's going to be totally useless!	Dude, all they did was paint the barrel black... TEH DEVS HATE US!!!1!1!

 

Petitions by PenguinPS 6-09-03
One fine morning... Good morning, sir. I represent the Society of Soldiers Committee for the Reduction of Terran Power...	We've been motivated by the recent decision to downgrade the Terran MAXes, and are currently circulating a petition to reduce the striker's effectiveness. I was wondering if you...ah...er...

 

Serpus vs. Elian Redux by PenguinPS 6-12-03
Serpus and Elian at it again... U MUSH HED!1 UR HED IS SOOO MUSHHHHH!!! I MEEN HELLLLOOOOOO!!!1!!1! HAHHAHAHAHAHA!! WHY DONT U STFU NOOB U GOT SARS OR SUMTHING!?!!? POST UR LUNCH OR STFU!!1!!1! WTF!1?!1/1	UR MOM SHOULD HAVE READ U BEDTIME STORIES FROM WWW.DICTIONARY.COM INSTEAD OF WWW.STFU.COM!1!11!! who the hell is this guy? wtf is your problem, serpus? stop being such a damn troll and grow up. ur such a sorry excuse for a human being. put urself out of ur misery	u must be starved for attn. did ur daddy beat u or sumthing? i dont know why you havnet been banned yet. sum1 ban his sorry a$$ so i can get back to discussing the game plzkthx You're new, aren't you?

 

Empirical Data by PenguinPS 6-16-03
Hey, man...I've found undeniable PROOF that the Jackhammer is overpowered! Wait here while I get it! Uh, alright...	Alright, come on over...that's it..almost there... . . .	You're kidding me, right?

 

Serpus vs. ralphdipietro by PenguinPS 6-17-03
I PWND UR ASS U KINDA SUX U GOT SARS TOO EASY HAHHAHHAHAA!!1!! I GOT A SUPER SPECIAL HANUKKAH STFU FOR U!!!! you have to be the must deinteligunt person to post in a forum evar	my 9yr old brother makes more inteligunt comments then you, You do realize that's just a persona I've assumed on the forums to make a satirical statement about the general attitude of the typical poster, don't you?	. . . your mom.

 

The Death of Serpus by PenguinPS 6-18-03
STFU NOOB DID U SWALLOW UR LEGOS OR SUMTHING?/?/? TAKE UR SARS AND GO HOME1!11!!!!!1! I THINK U NEED A SPECIAL KWANZAA STFU FOR UR ROOM TO HANG IN UR WINDOW FOR UR NEIGHBOURS TO SEE!1!!1	U SHOULD SUBSCRIBE TO THE WWW.DICTionary.com newsletter and. . . *beep*. . . malfunction. . . caps disabled. . . unable to compensate. . . lower case tolerance reaching critical levels. . . *beep*

 

Forum Woes by PenguinPS 6-19-03
The day after... Nerf the jackhammer, VS sucks, this game is boring, spawn camping is lame, Spork read this, XP system sucks...	I'm cancelling now, devs are clueless, fix it now, lose the grief system, NC is overpowered, fix the lag, Magriders are lame...	I miss Serpus, damnit.

 

Parting Words by PenguinPS 6-20-03
This game is only half-finished, and the devs aren't doing anything to improve it! I'm not going to pay to play a beta anymore, and neither is my outfit. We're all leaving!		Weren't you leaving? Please talk me out of this.

 

Roadkill by PenguinPS 7-04-03
Dude, what happened to you? Mag.		But...we're playing Quake... I know.

 

Air Travel by PenguinPS 7-17-03
Hey, whatcha lookin at? It's the Lodestar	Oh neat, it looks like it's carrying something. Yeah, I can barely make it out. Looks sort of like a...	...Magrider...

 

Commentary by PenguinPS 7-21-03
Awesome! Time to make a comic about the new lasher! Oh, yeah...make another comic. Doesn't this guy have anything better to do?	Hey genius, your comics might be funnier if they weren't filled with total LOSERS. Hahahahaha!	Hey cool, the Mystery Science Theatre guys! Aw, crud.

 

Lasherphobia by PenguinPS 7-22-03
Penguin visits Johari... Hello?	Is anybody here?	Scatter MAX LFS...

 

It's A Living by PenguinPS 7-22-03
Another fine day at the SOE offices. . .	Uh, Spork. . .	You want me to get you an extinguisher or something? Nah. It's actually getting kind of comfortable.

 

It's A Living, Part 2 by PenguinPS 7-23-03
Day 2. . .		Alright, now it's starting to get a tad warm.

 

Progress by PenguinPS 7-24-03
Alright, it's been over a month since we announced those new facility benefits. Do you guys have anything I can show the players? Yeah, hold on. I'll get it.		To be, or not to be... I'll have my agent call you tomorrow to work out a deal.

 

SporkfirePS: Fanmail by PenguinPS 7-24-03
Spork at the office Dear SporkfirePS, I think you're doing a great job. We really appreciate the job you're doing, and want you to know we're behind you 100%.	Don't let all these haters get you down. I tattooed your name on my left butt cheek to show my support. What are you wearing? I want to have your children.	If you were here right now, I'd tie you to my bed and...

 

Consequences by PenguinPS 7-25-03
Patch day at SOE You ready? As ready as I'll ever be.	Here goes...	And...done! You okay back there? Yeah. It's the anticipation that's the hard part.

 

Objectivity by PenguinPS 7-29-03
Wow, this arguement has been going on for hours. Yeah. It's starting to get pretty heated.	Why can't they just agree on something so we can go? Who knows. I hope they wrap it up soon, though. I'm getting hungry.	Are you retarded? We had steak for dinner yesterday! Stop being such an asswipe. Look. All I'm saying is it's got more protein than water fowl. Protein is good, right?

 

Interpretation by PenguinPS 7-31-03
Hey, check out this reply - "See? Spork said himself that the devs know the empires are unbalanced, but they're not going to do a damn thing about it. "	"The gross preferential treatment that the devs are showing has to stop now. They need to pull their heads out of their asses and..." and it goes on.	Woah, venomous. What the hell did you tell them? That the vending machine was out of teriyaki sticks.

 

Marketing by PenguinPS 8-08-03
A visit from the suits... Are you really sure you want me to post this Future Plans update? Yeah, it'll make all the players wild with anticipation!	Yeah, but two weeks...isn't that pushing it a little? Didn't you hear Smoke himself say two weeks at the last meeting?	I think he was talking about his root canal... What did I tell you about thinking?

 

One-Shots: Volume I by PenguinPS 8-18-03
Advice Yeah, like this is really fair. How am I supposed to have a chance to kill you like this? Use tactics.	New Blood So, you said this was a kind, caring and understanding community, Smoke? Uh, yeah Tsloth... understanding... that's the word...	Meeting Expectations ****ing there. A new ****ing comic. Are you ****ing happy now, Halifax? Dumb****.

 

The New Guy by PenguinPS 8-21-03
Hey, this new guy TSloth seems to be really on top of things. I think it's about time we gave him a typical GC welcome...	Soon after... how big is auraxis? in kilo metres/miles/metres squaredif u could The continent map areas themselves are 8 kilometers by 8 kilometers. This is per continent.	So, when you bring up the overhead map ('M'), that is the total area... HEY BOON UR IN MY WAY

 

Serpus vs. The Impostor by PenguinPS 8-28-03
STFU J00 NEWB WHAT DID J00 HAVE 4 LUNCH???? WTF U DONT SOUND LIKE ME AND UR NOT HALF AS GOOD LOOKING!!! STOP TRYING TO BE SOMETHING UR NOT!!!! WHO ARE U BOON???		EYE EM REEL SIPROS!!!!!?? NO???? YES!!1!!!!!! I KNEW IT!!!!!

 

General Chat: The Return by PenguinPS 6-08-04
One fateful day The Penguin has returned . . . I must inform the others! -TCZ Ah, GC...my old stomping grounds...	It's actually looking kind of bland around here.	Good thing I brought the spare along. *BEEPBEEP* STFU BOON *BEEP*

 

Details at 6 by PenguinPS 6-08-04
Ba da bam bam bam bam bam bam ba dam~ This breaking news just in: Recruit Penguin of General Chat has been admitted to the Auraxis General Hospital.	He is reported to have received severe beatings, and is suffering from intense head trauma and internal bleeding.	Witnesses say the victim made a wrong turn on the way to New Player Help, and got caught in a crossfire in Planetside Discussion. Details at 6.

 

Old Friends by PenguinPS 6-10-04
Planetside : Community : Planetside Discussion		So how's work been, Spork? Same old, same old.

 

A day in the life of SporkFirePS. by PenguinPS 2-22-06
SporkFirePS gets to work. This person is hacking cause he is to high in BR...The DC MAX is way to strong...	The GRIEF SYSTEM SUCKS, 500+ for crashing off a cliff... THE PULSAR SUCKS WHEN WILL YOU LISTEN

 

Intrepid00 and Serpus meet. by PenguinPS 2-22-06
At the first PS meet. Who the hell are you? I AM FKING 11 1!!! SERPUS.		I always suspected you were a bot programmed by SmokeJumper when he was 12 for our amusement. STFU J00 N00B11!!

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