All comics by Pionir

Profile

 

by Pionir
9-26-01
Coding SQL and ASP requires a deep understanding of the complexities of all kinds of technologies...
...which takes years of experience and mastery which culminates in incredible resource of knowledge
I'm right and you're wrong

 

by Pionir
9-26-01
Crap game
yeah, enjoyed that almost as much as having my teeth pulled
Q50 never moved from the yellow armour once
aye, he's such a talent
I wonder if we'll ever see the likes of him again
Only in Tim Burton's planet of the apes

 

by Pionir
9-29-01
First thing one afternoon
I really must finish my floor today...
...although maybe there's time for a quick game of Q3F...
Oooh, neon!

 

by Pionir
9-30-01
In World War II the average age of the combat soldier was 26...
Liberation and freedom for Europe! We must stop Hitler...
In the Vietnam war he was 19...
I'm not really sure what's going on. Wtf am i doing here? We must stop the communists...
In counterstrike he is 12...
I am l33t sn1p3r d00d and will I 0wn j00 all

 

by Pionir
10-10-01
Foolish Humans
They are totally unprepared for the consequences of Space Travel
They have alerted us to their presence and now we shall crush them
Their primative technology will be no match for our superior weapons
But... the scanner shows they have iMacs and Powerbooks
SHIT, LETS GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!

 

by Pionir
11-23-01
Wanna watch a film then?
Nah, my system needs an upgrade, the sub is a bit weedy
of course it does
Hey, it really does need an upgrade, but I've found this home built mega-sub on the Internet I'm going to buy.
I intend to invade Afghanistan with it

 

by Pionir
10-27-02
Hmm, thats odd....
Sir, we've just had a run on case lights....
Must be another Quta LAN meet soon then.

 

by Pionir
1-07-03
Hey, aren't you that world famous upgrade victim?
?
Yeah, I know you... you live on the bleeding edge of technology fashion with your mini aluminium cases, TFTs and case lights!
Nah mate, you must be thinking of someone else...
Didn't you buy a Razer mouse?
Guilty!

 

by Pionir
1-07-03
"all the new features of Windows XP help you work faster, do more things and stop worrying about your OS"
_                      
Why I oughta!

 

by Pionir
1-11-03
Ray "n*Lurve" Stubbs & "Nasty" Bryan Robson
So what do you think about West Ham and West Brom's chances of staying up Bryan?
Well, they've both got quality players, so I think they'll make it
How about Bolton, do you think Sam Allardice is up to the job of keeping them up?
Well, he did well for them last season and the players all work hard so yes I think they'll manage it.
Bloody hell Bryan, they can't all stay up!
You don't say anything bad about anyone do you Bryan?
Well, it's been hard work, but i think I've done well, improved steadily and I'm sure I'll eventually become a world class pundit.

 

by Pionir
1-11-03
I blazed a trail to the Razer Mouse...
I headed the queue for Lian Li & Neon...
Everyone copied my Shuttle & TFT...
I've finally got the cinema projector so whats left for me?
...
An FA Porsche designed doorbell!

 

by Pionir
1-12-03
Gary "The Toe" Lineker and Trevor "The Fence" Brooking
So Trevor, that penalty against Southampton, should it have been given?
Well, Gary, the player did go down hard and it was a rough challenge... but I can see the defender got to the ball first...so I think it's hard to call
But Gordon Strachan was pretty adamant it shouldn't have been given, surely Southampton were unfortunate
Well it's tricky, but sticking my neck out I think it was one of those 50-50 decisions that could have gone either way.
Where's Alan Hanson when i need him

 

by Pionir
1-13-03
Often being funny is just a case of picking on someone with a physical trait and taking the piss
yep, and if you repeat it often enough it also becomes a running joke to make it double the value
mmmm, Pie!

 

by Pionir
1-13-03
"Big" Ron Atkinson and Gabby "The Tottie" Yorath
Man Utd are 1-1 level at the start of this critical 2nd leg semi final against Inter Milan. They need to keep it tight at the start and catch Inter on the break.
Oh dear, they're 2-1 down now
Great, they're now in a better position that when they started!
What?? Ron your pants are on fire!
Yes, I'm in a much stronger position than before I started burning
You're such clown Ron!

 

by Pionir
1-14-03
Sometimes being funny is just a matter of finding someone who's not very good at games & sports and taking the piss out of them for that
Yeah, I used to work with someone who truly sucks at computer games. Even his 5 year old kid is better.
mmmm, Pie!

 

by Pionir
1-14-03
So for my inventive plans to tear down the walls of civilisation...
I could petition for employment rights, or maybe join the protest against the scandals of the corporations up in London
maybe it would be easier to just argue on irc

 

by Pionir
1-14-03
Hello, Dabs support line, how may I help you?
Hello, I'd like to complain about the motherboard I bought from you. It appears there is a design defect in it. Although it's a very good product, I'd like a refund
OK, return it to us and we'll send you another
No, I don't want another, I want to be given a job as Cheif Executive of Dabs - it's as much as I deserve after serving my country for years
Sorry, we can't help you there. *click*
maybe it'd be easier to just argue on irc

 

by Pionir
1-14-03
"welcom to visual basic tutorials online"
wow, this is so much easier than C++, I could really get some good contract with this and move my career forward. Now to try it out on that project I got last month...
"error sending mail"
This will set my deadline back a bit. Still, I'm sure the client will understand it's a big project and I'm trying as hard as I can. Just as well I'm still claiming dole though or I'd be in trouble
maybe it would be easier to just argue on irc

 

by Pionir
1-15-03
The Nag's Head
Hello, how are you? Would you like to smoke some dope? What do you think about the current social and economic situation of the downtrodden proletariat?
Sorry, I came here for a quiet drink with my friends
Wouldn't you like to discuss coming to Thailand with me to be my wife in a mutally subservient relationship?
No, strangely I'm not interested. Please leave us in peace!
maybe it would be easier to just argue on irc
Wierdo

 

by Pionir
1-15-03
I've been oppressed by the capitalist state. I'll never be able to get a house and mortgage!
Why don't you go out and get a job?
What and spend time feeding the fat cats that exploit me? imo software needs to be a trade where u work dead hard for 10 years, sacrificing life, and then do soemthing else, setup financially for life
But you'd also be able to buy your house.
maybe it would be easier to just moan on irc

 

by Pionir
1-15-03
...BT CEO given record 7 figure salary increase...
The UK is such a bad place to be. Corporations have all the power and the government just helps them. I'm going to screw the state for all I can, by living a life of poverty and avoid paying tax.
...house prices rise again...
I'll claim dole until I have enough to travel to Thailand and find myself a wife, buy a house and live a good life
...malaria breaks out in Thailand...
maybe it would be easier to just argue on irc

 

by Pionir
1-15-03
Just looking at upgrading my CPU
I got a P4 last time round, but Barton is round the corner
Intel Pentium 4 3.06 GHz Boxed PC533 - Socket PGA478, 512kB "Northwood" Unconfirmed 2003-01-28
£590.45 'bargain'
don't forget it's two processors due to Hypermarketing

 

by Pionir
1-18-03
It's really hard to get work. I really want to work, but everyone rejects me because I haven't worked for 3 year
Tell you what, I've got a special job you could do, it's not very complex, but there's strict deadlines to meet
This is going to be no problem. Early start, new fast computer, time to get stuck in and start working towards a new house, easy money
_                        
maybe I'll just argue on irc
"[11.30] * connecting to irc.barrysworld.com (6667)"

 

by Pionir
1-18-03
Quakeworld was and still is definitive FPS online shooter. It's network code has yet to be surpassed.
Quake2 CTF was much better
But you've played about 30 mins of Quakeworld in your life. You can't possibly judge on that basis.
Quake2 CTF was much better
That's just a baseless statement, can you back it up with something?
why does everyone aruge with me on irc

 

by Pionir
1-18-03
Hyperthreading is a waste of time
But it makes a computer twice as fast!
It only works with programs written for it, which is about 2% of programs, and is only available in a £600 CPU
But it's 2 cpus in one! I bet AMD wish they'd thought of it first
It's just hypermarketing
why does everyone aruge with me on irc

 

by Pionir
1-18-03
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

 

by Pionir
1-19-03
Bloody hell I'm pissed tonight
Yeah you must be, usually I don't see double
midday the next day...
I feel so bad, I'm never drinking again in my life
Fancy a pint?
Good plan!

 

by Pionir
1-19-03
thats lotr2 all in one mpeg file now :) watched it today.. v good film deffo justified the cost of this months dsl
how much is nildram a month?
£25
£25 a month for one shaky-cam film, instead of £5 at the cinema must make it bargain of the decade!
why does everyone argue with me on irc

 

by Pionir
1-20-03
Hey, Driving Miss Daisy, didn't that win a couple of Oscars? Must be worth a watch then
2 hours later
i'm sure it'll get going soon
"...Starring Morgan Freeman, ...."
WTF? The plot is "they grew old and died"
"next for your enjoyment: Live action Paint Drying"

 

by Pionir
1-21-03
How's the projector going?
Good, but I want to get a new graphics card for the shuttle
With DVI output?
If they did an All-In-Wonder-9000 it'd be a handy HTPC card
Sapphire do one I believe, but why not a 9700 AIW?
No way, they're HAHAHA $$

 

by Pionir
1-21-03
I need to clone one drive onto another, whats the best way?
[Pionir] Ghost.... [Taq] Ghost.... [Frag] Ghost....
2 days later...
I can't understand this, how do i make the image a boot cd, and does it wipe my drive? How does it see NTFS files when I boot from a dos floppy?
Just choose disk to disk and set the partition sizes... it will work no problem. We've done it many times and it's pretty straight forward
2 days later...
I still don't understand how it works. How does it work on a windows 2000 drive if it's a DOS boot disk. I don't know if I should do this, it sounds unsafe to me.
Would you like us to check if having your monitor ramming down your throat is detimental to your health?

 

by Pionir
1-21-03
Being funny is often about whats not said
As Thomas Carlyle once said, "Speech is silvern, Silence is golden"
HAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

by Pionir
1-24-03
Wooo Wooo ... I am the ghost of Hardware Future ... Wooo Wooo
Excuse me?
Wooo Wooo ... You will buy new hardware ... Wooo Wooo
Sorry, but it's not going to work this time
Wooo Wooo ... LAN meet soon ... Wooo Wooo
Where's my credit card?

 

by Pionir
1-27-03
Right, time to install the latest beta video drivers
hmm that's strange, somethings making DVD playback jerky and unwatchable, looks like I'll have to spend the day reinstalling
Wooo Wooo ... Quick Recovery ... Wooo Wooo
Sorry, I don't believe in Ghost

 

by Pionir
1-27-03
War with Iraq? That's just the kind of thing capitalism in 'The West' promotes to keep their profits up. I'm going to devote myself to stopping them
*brring* Good afternoon Comrade! We urgently need your support at a protest march this afternoon to stop war in the middle east!
Sorry, I have a bad back, I can't possibly help out, in fact I need to rest it right now
But we've heard how motivated you are to our cause! We need your help to bring justice to this world, and show America that the people say No!
hello? hello?
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

 

by Pionir
1-28-03
I see the GeforceFX has finally been reviewed, but it the benchmarks aren't astounding
It seems it only does well in certain benchmarks and has that ludicrous cooling system on it
It's all gone a bit 3DFX
Yeah, they seem to have lost the plot and got in a panic
The GeforceFX advanced features look useful should eventually give it an edge
does it have hardware intellicrosshair tho?

 

by Pionir
1-28-03
In-jokes are a tried and tested way to be funny, especially with a corny punchline that's anticipated by the audience
But is it possible to be completely random yet saveagely satirical?
I guess it would be hard but it depends on the subject material
Well you won't trick me into coming up with the desired punchline
adfadf

 

by Pionir
1-29-03
adfadf?
adfadf!
HAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHA
Wierdos in this pub tonight, lets go elsewhere
Wooo Wooo ... Yeah, lets 'large it' in De Niro's ... Wooo Wooo

 

by Pionir
1-29-03
Wooo Wooo ... Evening Mo ... Wooo Wooo
Will you give your Wooo'ing a rest? We're not on duty here Baz
*cough* See the footy last night then?
Yeah, great game. Leeds were unfortunate in the end to lose by an own goal, but that blonde Icelandic player scored a cracker
Eidur Gudjohnsen?
So did I (boom boom)

 

by Pionir
1-30-03
I feel inspired this week
Smash the State keeps going from strength to strength
Must be a lack of sleep or something
I used the ghost again ... \o/
I daren't use the ghost in my strips as it might affect my C drive partition

 

by Pionir
1-30-03
Evening Mo
Evening Baz
I always like spending a night at my old haunt from time to time ...
Dark in here isn't it?
Dunno, can't see

 

by Pionir
1-30-03
How's tricks Mo?
Lo Baz. I've been a bit bored recently. People don't seem to get scared easily any more.
Yeah, I reckon they watch too many horror films these days and are desensitised.
Recently I've been thinking about packing it all in and doing a University course. I hear there's a good media studies course at a Uni near Blackpool.
Is that wise?
No, it's Morcambe

 

by Pionir
2-01-03
Goddamit, not another comic strip with us in it
I think we must be famous by now
Hey stop looking at us
Nothing to see here move along
Pssst, I think he fancies you

 

by Pionir
2-03-03
I've got 4 dead IBM hard drives on my desk here, and another 3 in my desk at work. They really are flawed by design
Not as flawed as the Fujitsu's though, they are less reliable than 2% of all hard drivers (www.storagereview.com)
The only drives I've not had fail are Western Digital and Maxtor.
I've never had a maxtor die...
As I've never been stupid enough to buy one ;o

 

by Pionir
2-03-03
Evening Mo
Lo Baz, You tried that new curry house yet?
Not yet no
They've got a new dish - chicken tarka
What's that then?
It's like chicken tikka only 'otter

 

by Pionir
2-03-03
Windows XP sucks
why
it's fisher price windows
no it's not
it's telly tubby windows
Lala Lala

 

by Pionir
2-05-03
4-0
Shut up
4-0
Shut up
4-0
Shut up

 

by Pionir
2-05-03
2-1
Shut up
2-1
Shut up
2-1
Shut up

 

by Pionir
2-11-03
Sponsored by Monster Inc
Buy our cables, they will open up a whole new soundstage
http://www.monstercable.com
No! Eat our mushrooms, they will open up a whole new lightstage!
Our cables are bollocks
See?

 

by Pionir
2-11-03
In a fair and just society, the cleverest people would be rewarded the most...
zzz
... scientists and good engineers would get the stockbrokers houses
You're shafted then
Why do people always insult me on irc

Showing page 1.

Next »