All comics by Redeye

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by Redeye
5-05-06
so...how is buisness going becase you know I havn't seen any souls lately
Good but people just don't want to go to hell
Die you little whore die!
Whoa I'm in hell.
Hi aren't you a cute litte bunny!

 

by Redeye
5-05-06
Dude why does everybody fight it's bullshit.
Man is this guy a fag!
Yo dude wats up?
the sky is like up man.
I am Osama Binladan
Dude like the whole army is looking for u.

 

by Redeye
5-05-06
Look Susie this relationship just isn't working out. I'm sorry
Why not?
It...It just isn't
Don't turn your back on me! Tell me dammit!!! TELL ME!!!
You penis is ten times the size of mine and its embarassing.
I thought you liked the size of my dick you bastard!

 

by Redeye
5-05-06
Alien hasn't been being satisfied by Gene...
So heres your money. That was amazing.Maybe we should fuck again sometime
They don't call me Dickskinner for nothing
So... Where were you? Huh answer me... ANSWER ME DAMMITT
I was with some of the guys a t the bar.
Bullshit you little skank!!!
I WAS WITH A PROSTITUTE OK YOU HAPPY NOW!! HUH...HUH BITCH

 

by Redeye
5-05-06
So how the buisness treat'in ya
Not so good. You see Mr. Jenkins has been on my ass all week to get some homo's insurance approved so when he gets his ass kicked he'll come cry to us. But enough about me what about you.
Really thats bullshit. I think Mr. Jenkins is a dickhead I mean I couldn't get this one guy's insurance approved so Mr. Jenkins the dickhead made my cubical smaller. Isn't that a bunch of shit.
Yeah that is I hate Mr. Jenkins. That little Son of a Bitch.
Did you get my insurance approved yet?
Shut up you damn homo.SHUT UP!!

 

by Redeye
5-05-06
Hi Gene this is Alien I've gone to clear my mind I went to my Aunt Jocki's house. I'll be back in a few. Love ya, bye.
Ohhh...yes suck it ohh yes baby yes!!!
What'd you do while I was gone?
I masturbated.

 

by Redeye
5-05-06
Damn I hate these Quantum Generater gun.
Hi welcome to Treksturant
I already called Spok's suit!
I SHOOT DAMMITT..DON'T MAKE ME!!!
So is this ship clear of zimbies?
'BEEP'...'BEEP'...'BEEP'... Yes sir ship clear of zimbies and nimbies. All clear ready for take off.

 

by Redeye
5-05-06
Welcome to Channel 3 News.
In recent news Dr.Williams was accused and was found not guilty of four killing one his patients. Today we have a special interview with him we are now going over to Jorge Fredose with the interview.
Thank you Tom. I'm here with Dr. Williams. Doctor what can you say about the accusations testified against you?And how do you feel?
You see there isn't anything to say about. I'm notguilty and thats the fact of the matter. I think that those accusations were fucking shit and whoever made them up is going to die.

 

by Redeye
5-05-06
DIE MOTHER FUCKER!!!
WHAT FUCK...WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU!!!
HA HA YOU GOT YOUR CANDYASS KICKED BY SANTA!!!
SHUT UP YUO MOTHER FUCKING PUSSY ASS BITCH
Man that wasn't nice. You hurt my feelings I may be the devil but I have feelings. You should say your sorry.
Look I'm sorry I'm just really mad right now you know. But look I hope we can put this behind us.

 

by Redeye
5-05-06
Man do I hate Arabian people.
..............
Man do I love Arabian people.

 

by Redeye
5-05-06
Thanks for taking me out to dinner.
Yeah maybe next you'll put some clothes on whore.
So I guess i'm not getting any tonight.
Go fuck youself asshole!!!

 

by Redeye
5-05-06
Here you are sir.This is all your mail for today.
Thanks.
Dear Captain Faggery, It seems that you have been selected in special drawing. Watch channel 3 at 10:00 to see the winner.
And the winner is ...captain faggery. Come down to claim your prize.

 

by Redeye
5-05-06
Three random people have been choosen to participate in a yo momma joke off.And your the judge...
Yo momma is so poor i went over her house to pee and she gave me two sticks i asked why she gave me them she said one to hold up the roof the other to fight off roaches.
Yo momma's like a vacuum she sucks,she blows and gets laid in the closet.
Now its up to you to decide who wins...
Yo momma is soooo short she needs to use a sticky hand to open her car door.

 

by Redeye
5-06-06
Sucky Sucky 5 dolla me love you long time
Did you say 5 dollars?
Yup. Me take you home show you good time
Sounds good.
you have good time right?
Yeah. how old are you again?

 

by Redeye
5-06-06
Sticky is ugly skiny single and stupid what does he have to live for ......???
Don't kill yourself you have a lot to live for.
No i don't my wife just left and when i make love to hookers they close their eyes.
So what your as ugly as sin just like crabby.
That is pretty ugly. Yeah mabye your not right. I'm going to kill myself.
Holyshit!!!

 

by Redeye
5-06-06
So what happen here?
I'm tell'in ya i didn't kill da damn cat. Allright
Well scum bag your going where you belong.
To the cleaners because you know my fur is getting to smell really bad.
So i told them i didn't kill the cat.
Yeah and I told them i didn't kill roadrunner.

 

by Redeye
5-06-06
Well i guess when its my time its my time.
No No i just came to get my money so u wouldn't die.
Ohhh ok. Well lets see thats1 penny, thats 2 pennys, 3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22.
'sigh'
23,24,25,26,27,28,29,30,31,32,34,35,36,37,38,39,40.Ohh fiddle sticks i lost my place.
Maybe i should just kill her before this gets any worse.

 

by Redeye
5-06-06
Wow Sean Connery i'm like your biggest fan!!!
No i'm Abe Vigoda. I'm not some british guy who played in crappy movies. I starred in The Godfather the greatest movie ever made.
Ohhhhh... Abe Vigoda I haven't seen you in any movies lately. And you weren't very good in The Godfather.
'clearing throat'

 

by Redeye
5-06-06
Damn this game is hard.
Shit, why can't I beat this guy!
FUCKING PEICE OF SHIT I HATE THIS GAME ITS FUCKING GAY DAMMIT WHY DO THEY HAVE TO MAKE IT SO FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE COCK SUCKING WHORE I HATE THIS GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

by Redeye
5-06-06
Hey granny what was it like when you a kid?
Well you honey slaves were still allowed a your great grandma had a slave. Oh iI hate those damn niggers i hate niggers i hate niggers.
................
I HATE NIGGERS I HATE NIGGERS I HATE NIGGERS I HATE NIGGERS I HATE NIGGERS!!!
Whats a Nigger?
Call them babboons honey.

 

by Redeye
5-06-06
Aliens gone wild first timers. All of these Aliens are horny order now call 1-800-889-8540 for all the horny aliens you can handle.
WHAT THE FUCK!!!
Alien we need to talk. Iknow where you were last Friday. You were with Aliens Gone Wild.
............ Go on.
Thats it.
Ok well I think its time for me to hit the old dusty trail.

 

by Redeye
5-06-06
Today is Christmas a time for loving,sharing and anal sex.....
Merry Christmas Alien.
Thanks.
What the fuck is up your Ass that you can't tell me Merry Christmas.
Nothing because we haven't had anal sex since our Anniversity.
Fuck you!!!
'sigh'

 

by Redeye
5-06-06
Alien you have cancer.
What??!!
Alien you have cancer.
What??!!
To be continued...
Alien you have cancer.
NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

 

by Redeye
5-06-06
Comic continued...
Come on you have to come with me.
FUCK THIS!! SEE YA!!
Please you have to save me!!!
Huh.... What...What did you say??
Finally, I found you. Now lets go.
'Sigh'... OK.

 

by Redeye
5-06-06
Wow maybe I should've laid off the pot.
Your not hallucinating Jackass your in hell!
I wonder what Gene is doing.
Hello neighbor. Welcome to Mister Rogers neighborhood. Today on the show we're going to get high.
I'm sorry what to you do for a living again?
I molest children.

 

by Redeye
5-06-06
How about this if you can convice Jesus to give me back the spirit of Michael Meyers. I'll let you go home.
Ok. One question before I go why the hell is Michael Meyers in Heaven.
So you see Jesus the devil screwed up and accidently gave Michael Meyers to God to keep in Heaven.
...Ohhhhh So thats who tried to kill the Pope and sent him to Hell.
So... Do you want to get wasted or what?

 

by Redeye
5-06-06
Gee I never thought I'd say this but am I glad to see you.
I love you too Alien.
Did anything happen while I was gone.
Yeah your doctor wanted to see you.
I can't even joke with this pansy.

 

by Redeye
5-06-06
Where are we going again?
To go see my mom and dad.
Mom...Dad...anyone...?
'Giggle'...'Giggle'...Nice planet.
To be continued...
Son...'Cough'...Cough'... you ... you have to save the planet from the pokemon master.'Cough'...'cough'...'choking'.
NO!!! FATHER!!!

 

by Redeye
5-06-06
That's one small step for man. One Giant leap for mankind.
Do you really think people will believe this.
Yes, who wouldn't believe it.

 

by Redeye
5-06-06
I choose you Caspermon!!!
And i choose you Bangobot!!!
I don't want to fight. Please don't hurt me.
I love Queers. Lets fuck.
I love you.
I love you.

 

by Redeye
5-18-06
After defeating the pokemon master Gene and Alien come home...
Finally we're home once and for all!
Yeah.
You know Gene I think this journey has brought us closer together.
.............
Shut up asshole!!!

 

by Redeye
5-18-06
Hi. I'm here today to talk to you guys about a serious problem... Priests molest little children.
Please... Help me he got me locked up for his disposal.

 

by Redeye
5-18-06
I was thinking and i decided to get your lazy ass off the bed and get you a job.
What about you FAT ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi welcome to SpitOnFood can I take your order.
Ummmm... Lets see here...
Here boy you want a juicy hamburger. Huh. Go fetch.
MINE!

 

by Redeye
5-19-06
So... How was your first day of work?
Fuck Off!
You know what I did I signed you up for the military.
I don't want to go out and fight!!!
Shut up and get out there right now!!! YOU LITTLE PUSSY!!!!

 

by Redeye
5-19-06
Worlds worst burglar...
What are you doing?
Ha Ha Ha Ha I'm invisible.
I SAID WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
Shhhhhhhhhh I'm trying to rob you

 

by Redeye
5-19-06
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I'm leaving you
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I'm leaving you
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I'm leaving you

 

by Redeye
5-19-06
so what do you want?
duhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
come on pick one!!!
duhhhh...jhpmethgy
wha...what?
I said meth dammit!!!

 

by Redeye
5-19-06
i SEE you like fish
fuck you

 

by Redeye
5-19-06
hey
hey
Want to get wasted.
sure.

 

by Redeye
5-19-06
I vant to suck your blood!!!
I'm over here asshole.
I want... I mean vant to suck your neck so i could get blood.
Not scary.
I vant to suck your blood!!!
OMG.

 

by Redeye
5-19-06
Hi I'm Robert Sanchez and this...
...is channel three action news.
Don't ever interupt me again bitch.
In other news Roberts mother is a whore. Here is an exclusive clip of her.
Hey sweet cheeks you want oral sex or what?
No way bitch. Your as ugly as sin. I can get better from my 5 year old sister.

 

Worlds worst Easter Bunny...
Ho Ho Ho mother fucker.
by Redeye, 5-19-06

 

Worlds worst president...
I'm George Bush.
by Redeye, 5-19-06

 

Worlds worst Chef...
MaMa Mia Welcome to Mcdonalds.
Yeah I'll have the heart attack on a bun.
by Redeye, 5-19-06

 
by Redeye, 5-20-06

 

by Redeye
5-20-06
Welcome to Channel three action news. Today on the show we make fun of niggers and grannies. Let go over to our illegal alien Roberto Sanchez.
Yes I'm a wetback. Thank. Here I am with my G home dog Master P. How many white girls did you fuck today?
Shut up you damn Cracker.
Here I am with my Grandma Master G. How many white girls did you kill today?
Shut up you damn Cracker.

 

by Redeye
5-20-06
I have aids.
Ha Ha.
Fuck You.

 

by Redeye
5-20-06
Ha Ha its a dog on a ball.
Fuck You.

 

by Redeye
5-20-06
You want some coffee.
Fuck off.

 

Wow this is a really nice shirt.
by Redeye, 5-20-06

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