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| I would like to exchange the pet canary I purchased from you. | |
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| Why? What's wrong with it??!? | |
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| It's too intelligent. Plus, it doesn't seem to be able to cope with confinement. | |
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| If you want an unintelligent pet, may I recommend Boscoe, the Wonder Dog? He appears intelligent but is in fact merely obsessive-compulsive. | |
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| I'll take him! Er...what do I feed him? | |
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| You feed me love, dammit! Fucking boatloads of love! | |
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