All comics by ShaolinLambKiller

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Murder the Populace quickly for much needed robot sex has to be performed for our continued existence.
Yes for with this breeding ground we will be able to eat our young in peace.
Oh No I forgot the the KY Jelly!
GODDAMN I CAN NEVER TRUST YOU TO DO ANYTHING RIGHT! We must teleport to Zultron to pick up a jumbo size tube. GODDAMN I HATE YOU.
At the sun.....
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
NOOOOOO WHY MUST YOU FUCK UP ALL THE TIME OUR LIVES ARE NOW ENDED...*

 

We are here to cheer you up even though you wrecked you car and lost an arm. So be happy I will dance for you. *dancedancedance*
god I hate my life.
Feeeling any better? Nevermind your Mom is dead. Whoa that tired me out. Please get happy soon so I can have sex with my dog.
That is the last draw his life ends today with many others in flames.
minutes later.
AHHHHHHHHHH I BURN! ahh how iwished for the imbrace of death.....*
I laugh at your pain and now I must go rape some children.

 

Hello Child.. CHRIST you have a such enlarged head. I bet you have cancer. Anyway want to help me bury this bone of mine?
uhhhmmm... ok
Before we start I want to know what the hell are you? I mean are you male or female? I can tell you have pigtails but you have chesthair.
I am not sure myself.. so rape me in the ass.
Naw bitch I ain't into that shit I burn you with my mind!
NOOO I DIE A VIRGIN!

 

Wandering farther helldog goes..
What type of poorly designed hell is this?
Tis the land of the ball bubble heads.
Well ain't that the stupidest thing I ever heard. Want to fuck? My package is much bigger than these speedos let on.
Well I guess so. Since you have a huge ball beneath your feet I can alas please you as myself too.
hours later.
Well you were a lousy lay enjoy the flames!
But you were so greAAAAAAAAAHHHH NO THE PAIN! OF MY BUBBLE HEAD BURSTING....*

 

It hard being GoreGod's Big Toe.. All the voice continue to tell me to kill him but he keeps me trim by putting me in his mouth.
....kill co[p]s....
WhaT TiS tHiS MorSel here?
Who the fuck are you?
I am Tony. Welcome to GoreGod's mouth again... you forget everytime.

 

Why Do I forget so much? I don't even recall killing those security gaurds? How did I get out.
Your whole life has been a lie.
......but I am the King.
you should have GoreGod swallow you whole to end your pitiful life. I will go tickle this hanging ball thing in the back of his throat.
NO I WILL NOT END IN THE PIT OF STOMACH OF GOREGOD. DIE!
tHIS CHANGES NOTHING! I will be back..

 

There you go you pussy wooped bastard. Now all you need is these gutter nails in your head.
No Please I will change I do have a spine! ANGEL HELP ME! WAAAAHHH!
Damint! I just love fucking up.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Well you burn you bastard I hope you enjoy the flames licking under that damn cloth of yours.
ANNNNNGGEEEELLL NO!!

 

JESUS said this should be where I would find him. But I see no JESUS oh how I need him so. What is up with all these nails?
*cough* wheez... i... am... here.. angel...
OH MY POOR JESUS WAHT HAPPENED TO YOU? NO PELASE STILL ALIVE!
*wheez*..i am still barely here... SLK came and said I needed this. Then he burned me and he pissed on my ashes and left. Something about bin ladien.
DAMN YOU SLK YOU HAVE GONE TOO FAR THIS TIME PAY BACK IS GOING TO BE A BITCH!
alas I am still in pain Angel huney can you not step in me?

 

Angel starts search for SLK as he is on his own quest.
Now where is that scum bastard. JESUS are you comfy in my pocket? JESUS thinking *what bliss is this*
Hey Old Ancestor! What are you doing down here?
I heard SLK is one the rampage and I don't want to be anywhere he thinks I would be. Since he still wants to eat my face and dance in my skin.
Well you should vacat here pretty soon. He already came down here and burned JESUS to ashes. He still might be around. JESUS: " I am in pain but being in Angel's pocket comforts me."
....I am so fucked....

 

I wish I never left the comfort of Metalgirl back home. I wish I had some yodals. why must I always mess everything up.
*drool* yodals. Yummy frosted yodals.
Well hello I didn't expect you to be here. Are you ready for your long and painful torture?
Countinued..
*trembling* Mr. SLK you are looking quite nice today. I thought you were just joking all this time.
No I am sorry everything I said was not in jest. you shall in a far worst fate than JESUS did, that cocksucking bastard.

 

...continued
I think I just wet myself.
Oh how the sweet pain shall wash over your brain mass again and again. The delightful pain will awaken such hidden fears in you. I can't wait to get started.
......*crying*.....
Now where to begin lets see those teeth will need to beee.. Did you jsut wet yourself?
uhm yes I did. Sorry I do that alot.
You need help.

 

...Continued
Hey before we start what is that behind you?
What?.....
......
Whatever the fuck you are all I know is this: coffin would like to have sex with you and I am gonig to have to kill you multiple times as I smash your head ino the ground with my boots.

 

I am sure glad that transexual gender challenged penguin came about. Hopefully that gave me enough time to escape SLK and get back to my yodals... and oh yea MetalGirl too.
meanwhile..
Well that was quite necessary, but I need to be on my quest to find Bin Ladien. Though Old Ancestor is quite near that needs to feel my hammer.
Hey do you know where this Coffin fella is located he told me to meet him out here I think I can sometimes not understand him.
Holy Fuck it is you Chedsy! of Satan Stole My teddybear fame! No I have not seen any Coffin sorry. Do you have any yodals?

 

back in Gerogia
Well this tracking is getting quite tireing though SLK leaves such an easy trail to follow.
I wonder if tI can stop the rampagin g hammerboy? hmmmmmm JESUS: I love it when Angel is all tired and pissy, I love it when she sweats I love everything about her.
That is right SLK lead me right to your soon to be broken self.

 

Well sorry I can't help you with Coffin but I have to leave here and quickly!
That is okay. I will just wait here and write bad reviews of Opeth in the meantime. God I wish Teddy wasn't stolen.
Public Service Announcment Break through:
I just wanted to say I did not steal that teddy bear I liberated it! That sick fuck was doing all sorts of sick shit to him. Teddy is much happier with me. In fac... HEY THAT IS MY CANS YOU BUMBASTARD
Back to Chesdy
Helllo there are you Coffin are you ready for hot oily man sex with my pella
Noo must shade eyes from freak of humanity. Must let the knife be my guide, please find his vocal cords knife.

 

Well I have to find something to sterilize my knife now, I don't want Chedsy's AIDS coated blood to corrode my knife. That was sick how he keep squealing for his dad and to cut his anus. God I wish
that it hit his vocal cords and not his eye first.
Hey you with the hammer do you want to lick my shaved dog balls?
Not really but I think my AIDS covered knife would love to caress your scrotum with much fury.
Nw I ain't into that shit, you will burn.
Well we will see you faggy looking loser dog upon a giant's colored nut.

 

BURN!
The delightful pain does nothing to thwart my blad from seeking your fruity chest gaydog.
No why did not my powers work? I must flee!
There is no escape from my now cleansed AIDS blade I hope you enjoy the pain of the hot steel.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA I LAUGH AT YOUR BROKEN SKULL FRAGMENTS! I shall now finger paint in your brain mush.

 

Hey you fucking pointy nose bastard! Why are you stepping on my brothers to death?
I am sorry I was making room to place all these packages of dildos.
.......... What the hell you mean dildos? Hundreds of my family had to die for dildos? YOU WORK FOR SANTA HE MAKES TOYS!
Yes he DELIVERS toys. We never said that he didn't contribute to the adult toy line. That is where the real joy of giving takes place. Sometimes he video tapes those younger ones on the list.
That is the most retarded thing I have ever heard prepare to get stung in the eyy.... You said he video tapes them using the gifts?
Damn right how else do you think I get by up here in the fucking cold and wearing these stupid fucking jinglebells.

 

Hello Mr. Robot! Why so glum?
Well dear child, somewhere here I have pushed a small dog into a small hole. Now I can't find it.
............. Why the hell did you do that to a dog for?
Well because he was a dog and there was a hole to be filled.
.................................... ............. I have to be leaving now.
No you don't come I think he is over here in this foot wide hole why don't you take a good look for me.

 

Yo little grey I know just what you need.
Really? You mean you can change me into a real boy, with a real chance of life perhaps?
NO! You stupid shit. you need one of these fine hoes over here to make you feel like a real boy again. dipshi crackerclip.
Well I was hoping for a chance of a meaningful life but whores are always good too. I'll take the brunette.
Are you for real? A fucking paperclip John? What the hell is this bullshit?
It is called "raping you with my rough metal prong" you stupid bitch I paid now strip!

 

....oh..christ you fucking pig.... ughhh that was the worst lay of my entire life.
Fuck you, suited me just fine, hope you enjoy bleeding to death in the gutter you trailer trash slut.
Hello Santa you fucking boozehound. Why don't you fucking eat that kettle of yours because no one gives a fucking shit.
HO HO HO MERRY CHRISTMAS GIVE TO THE POOR! HO Hoo you shit monkey drop in an abyss.
HO HO HOLY SHIT IS THAT A DYING HOOKER!
Yea she ain't that great, but have at her if you can actually get it up you heart attack prone browneye.

 

Are you okay miss?
Hot damn my lucky day now I can satisfy this need to let one choke on my diseased cock.
Hey pig!...I mean cop. I think that Santa over there is killing some poor woman.
Well hell! Indeed that is the case! The city needs more concernd citizens like you.
No really I just found her. I was trying to restart her heart! honest! I AM THE REAL SANTA!!
Reestart her heart by shoving your dick in her ass? Sure I think the night stick here has something to say to you personally.

 

That shit ain't right killin an pimp's fucking moneymaking best hoe and not paying the enire fee to let it happen. What type of cracker ass world has this come to?
SIR! I AM SURE I CAN EXPLAIN IN A SONG AND DANCE!
...................................
*^*^YOU SEE THE WORLD IS OWNED BY CRACKERS AND CRACKER THE WORLD RESPONDS TO. CRAcker....lalalalallalalalal^*^*^*^*^NO NIGGERBES BE ALLOWED TO CHANGE THE W....
Excuse me as I spit out some of this Colt 45 on your ass here.
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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