All comics by ShatteredDreamsMark

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Mark and Mike are downtown in Charleroi, discussing the band...
Mike, I can't think of any new songs to write...
Well... how about you take the ever-overused emo way out? You know, about how you bitch and complain about a girl that doesn't want you...
...
...what?
MUST... GET... IDEA... OUT... OF... HEAD...
Seriously? What?

 

Patrick and Mark recieve a letter during practice one day...
What is that, Mark?
Apparently, we've been invited to play a show at a local venue called, "Lowlife Bands That You've Never Heard Of And Probably Wouldn't Care To Hear."
...
...
SWEET!!!
OUR FIRST SHOW EVER!!!

 

Patrick and Cody log onto the Shattered Dreams webpage...
Hey Pat, did we get any new guestbook signatures?
I dunno... Let me check.
Yeah! We got one new one... It says, "mark mike and cody are so ugly patrick is hot i want him so bad good luck to patrick everyone else in ur band sucks and is ugly."
...You just put that in there, didn't you?
Whatever boosts my self-esteem.

 

Mike's different now. He no longer talks about emo...
So Mark, I was just with Chrissy last night...
Allow me to be the first to say that I don't care.
And dude, we made out in the back of Gary's car!!!
I don't care damnit!!!
Poor girlfriend-less Mark...
You wouldn't believe how hard it is to make out in the back of a car...
Pardon me while I KILL MYSELF.

 

Oh jeez... Mark's depressed again...
*sigh*
What's wrong with you?
I can't get the fact that I don't have a girlfriend out of my mind... Yet so many people think I'm hot...
...
If it'll make me feel any better...
So you need to be depressed and smell like trash?

 

Mike's on a date with Chrissy...
So... What you wanna do?
I dunno... We could watch Spiderman...
Again? I was hoping something a bit more... Fun...
...How about a rousing game of Battleship?
...Can it be strip Battleship?
...I guess so. Although I think it'd take too long to get you undressed...

 

LB and Mark discuss how each other's bands are going...
So how's the pop-punk band going Mark?
We're not pop-punk dude. How many times do I have to tell you that?
I haven't heard your music yet, but you're still pop-punk and/or emo!
...Emo?
HEY EVERYONE! MARK'S BAND IS EMO!!!
WANT... TO... DIE...

 

Patrick is confronted by a random hater...
Hahaha... Shattered Dreams sucks.
Well, that's your opinion. And your opinion isn't well founded, because we don't even have any recordings yet.
But you see... You aren't Metal... So you must suck. There's no other way around it.
Wait a second... I've been put down by a local metal head? Let me guess, every other music style sucks, right?
Let this be a lesson. Never have biased opinions, otherwise, Patrick will point at you and laugh.
...
HAHA... LOSER... HAHA...

 

Hi. I'm Josh, founder of Bridgeport Entertainment and bassist of The Robot Hum.
Make sure you visit http://www.bridgeportent.com ... That's my website. I find local bands... Even if some of them do suck.
VISIT BRIDGEPORT ENTERTAINMENT TODAY!!!
...Ok... so maybe MOST of the bands I find suck... Like this Shattered Dreams band... Those guys SUCK...

 

Cody discovers something he never thought he'd see...
Welcome to McDonalds... May I take your order...?
Holy shit dude! Adam works?!
At least I have a job you worthless...
What was that? I think the manager is walking by...
...So that'll be a large #5?
Supersize it. And while you're at it, knock off a few bucks, or I'll scream rape.

 

Patrick is confronted by local metalhead Mitch...
Hey you. You're Patrick, right?
...Yeah...
And you just put down metal, right?
...Yeah...
Have you ever had a parking meter jammed in your ass?
...Please... Be gentle...

 

Triscuits are the official food of Shattered Dreams!
Triscuits... are... uh... light...
...
Light... uh... Lightly salted...
...Forget it. My love for Triscuits doesn't deserve the likes of you.
Lightly salted... wheat... uh...

 

Mark tries to remember the lyrics to Gin and Juice...
With so much drama in the LBC it's kinda hard being Snoop Double... Wait..
That's not right... Maybe it's Snoopy G-O-Double... No, that's not right either.
These lyrics go too fast damnit! My punily high-yet emo-sounding voice can't keep up with it!
SNOOP D-O-DOUBLE G MARK. SNOOP D-O-DOUBLE G...

 

"Hoping this pain will go away.." No... too emo...
LIBERATE THE WALNUTS!
"Psycho squirrels with axes, Liberate the walnuts..."

 

Mark... I just had the WORST DAY EVER.
"We regret to inform you that your attempt to sign with Orange Peal Records has failed..."
Some metal head confronted me, so I told him off you know? Cuz that's what I do...
"We have listened to the demo tape you sent in, and I'm not even supposed to say this, but it was the worst garbage I've ever heard..."
AND THEN I GOT A PARKING METER JAMMED IN MY ASS! A PARKING METER!
Goodbye, cruel world...

 

Mark decides to get over his depression by talking to a random girl at a VFW show...
Hey... My name's Mark... I'm in a band... And uh...
Excuse me for one second...
Hmmm... Was it something I said?
If you don't get this, then you're probably better off not knowing.
Please... Kill me...
Sorry Mark. I'm hittin' that!

 

An interesting conversation on the way home from Kennywood...
...
I know what you mean...
What?
Did you just say boner?
...
...Did you?

 

Patrick is on his iMac, checking up on the guestbook...
Oh hey Mark. Did hear you come in... Check this out... We've made friends with another band in Northeastern PA called Infamy...
Isn't that cool? ... Mark?
Will Patrick be alright? Will his instincts help him escape the killer's grasp? Check the next comic... COMING SOON.

 

Yeah... This is a note Mike left behind for all his fans...
"You may or may not know, but I have left for Florida, and I won't be back for about a week. Let it be known that I WILL be back, and that SD will progress..."
"Mark, remember to have practice on Tuesday and Thursday like always, and pick up 467,651 boxes of Triscuits..."
SHATTERED DREAMS SUCKS!

 

Mark learns a valuable lesson
*sigh*
Oh jeez... Not the depression thing again... Don't tell me it's about the same girl...
No...
Then what is it?
Another chick I found that I'm interested in also has a boyfriend...
Well... That just goes to show that girls actually like to date guys with class...

 

Ah... It's the letter I ordered from that teenage-girl magazine...
"What Girls Want - Part 1"
"Every girl has something that they want. And I'll make this really easy on you by giving you a single answer... 'not you.'" ... I already knew that!!!
Mark... Where the hell is Patrick?!

 

We refocus onto Patrick... Who is now in the kidnapper's clutches...
Who are you?!
...
What do you want from me?!
...
... And why the HELL did you super glue my hands to my face?!!?!?
...hahahaha...

 

Mark and Cody make a plan...
So what do we do? He's been missing for days...
My best guess would be to organize a search party...
No... We have something better than that...
Which would be...?
...Alucard...
...Let me get the cell...

 

Meanwhile...
Well, would you at least tell me something about you?
...I kill people...
...
...And I like long walks on the beach...
...
...What?

 

Alucard! You're here!
Well, I thought I'd help a friend out... What's the problem?
Mark explains the situation...
...So would you help us find him?
Patrick... Isn't he the one Ross wants to beat up?
STAY TUNED FOR THE THRILLING CONCLUSION!
...yes...
...Eh, whatever. May as well help you rescue him.

 

And so, Alucard set off to find Patrick... Alone... With no one to help him...
Yeah yeah... I know I'm on my own. You don't have to remind me.
CHIKOO!
Why, hello little squirrel.
CHIKOO!!!
You say Patrick is in that building over there?

 

Alucard busts through the door...
IS THAT SOMEONE TO SAVE ME?!
DRAT. My plan has been foiled!
Why are you saving him?
A friend's request.
Now, let us engage in standard comic book style fighting.

 

The fight begins!
I never did get those "BOOM" and "POW" signs...
...What did you just do in my EAR?!
And so, Alucard beat down the killer, and saved Patrick's life!
Take that, beeitch!
No! NO! NOT THAT!!!

 

Mark finds a way to unglue Patrick's hands from his face...
Mark, can you please find a way to unglue my hands from my face?
Hmm... Hey Cody! Grab the paint thinner!!!
Ow... OWWWW!!! IT BURNS!!!
Just hold still!!!
...It worked!!!
"WARNING - PAINT THINNER MAY CAUSE SKIN TO PEEL OFF. IF YOU USED TOO MUCH, YOU'RE SCREWED."

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