All comics by Slap_Nuts

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by Slap_Nuts
4-05-02
Robo-Pimp is after another one...
Hey there, sweetie. Want to grab a bite to eat?
THEY'RE OUT TO GET ME!
So... You want to grab a bite to eat?

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-05-02
Aren't you that hooker from Grand Theft Auto 3?

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-05-02
Hey everyone, I'm the author Slap_Nuts. I have made some pretty shitty comics in the past, and I would like to apologize.
The stupid humor, and lack of intelligent dialogue has probably made a lot of you want to shoot me, and for that, I am sorry.
But does that mean I'm going to stop? Hell no! This is too much fun!

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-05-02
a-dogg sucks! Pepe sucks!
I rule them all!
AAAARRRGGGH!

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-08-02
Well folks, it's getting warmer, and you know what that means. That's right, summer is on it's way. That means you can say goodbye to all of that snow, snow, snow.
Oh fuck...
AAARRGGGHHH!!

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-08-02
I am the mighty Milton! Ruler of this planet, as well as thousands of others! I have power beyond your comprehension!
Mighty warriors have fallen by my hand! I am the greatest death machine to ever roam the universe!
So what, dude? I have a cock on my head.

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-09-02
*snicker*
Fuck off.

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-09-02
Say baby, why so glum? I wrote you a little poem, just to cheer you up.
Roses are red, violets are blue. Sugar is sweet, and so is your ass.
I know it didn't rhyme, but I think I got my message across.

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-09-02
A little Asian girl meets a pedophile in a dark alleyway.
Hey there little girl, how about you come into my car for a second? I have candy!
My mom told me that strangers are bad. Feel my firey kick of death!
AAARRRGGH! FUCK, THE BURNING!
Hi-yah!

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-09-02
Someday, you'll all look just like me!

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-09-02
Mmm... That neck is so long. It makes me want to...
Makes you want to what?
Let me show you.

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-09-02
I get so tired of these two little girls.
I wish I could do something.

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-09-02
Hey there, hottie. What say you and I head back to my place, and we can go on a safari through my jungle of love?
Oh hells yes! Love me! Love me now!
Ehm...
I thought I was the only gay robot..
Think again, baby.

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-09-02
Hey there, paperclip.
d00d! si t3h g4y r0b070z0rz!! @!
Uh.. I really don't speak l33t..
li3k, t3h r0b070z0rz si t3h r4p3 m0i! @!3!!
Look behind you!
OH FUX0RZ0RZ!

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-09-02
Buzz.
Buzz.
Buzz.

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-09-02
Now that I have you alone in this cheat hotel room, we can do whatever you want.
Didn't you say there was going to be free porn or something?
See that camera? We're going to make our own.

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-09-02
There was a typo in the last comic. Instead of "cheat hotel room," it was supposed to be "cheap hotel room."
Jesus Christ, the author is such an idiot.
Call me an idiot will you...
AAARRRGGGHH! I AM BURNING ALIVE!

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-09-02
Still burnin'...
We don't need no water let the motherfucker burn...
Burn, motherfucker, burn...

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-09-02
...
Had enough yet?
Yes sir...

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-09-02
AAAAAHHHHHHH!

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-10-02
I want you to hit me as hard as you can.
Hit you? What, you mean like in the face?
Surprise me.
AAAAHHHHH!!!

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-10-02
Hey, who are you?
I am Death. Are you the man who designed the Xbox controller?
Yeah, that was me.
You die.
AAARRRGGGHHH! THE FIRES OF HELL ARE ETERNALLY BURNING MY FLESH!

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-10-02
I feel a bit out of place here. Don't you?

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-10-02
Fuck!
And again I say, "Fuck!"

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-10-02
Dude, that is one HUGE cock.
...

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-10-02
Why do I feel as if there is an army of kangaroos with guns approaching me?

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-10-02
Hey there, babe. What's shakin'?
Um.. Can I borrow a cup of sugar?
How about we play a little game of grab-ass?
Actually, I just want the sugar.
Well then turn around, and I'll give you some sugar.
Alright.. Hey, wait a second!

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-13-02
Who the fuck are you?
I am Satan.
Fucking poser. I'm the real Satan.
Hah! I told you so!
AAARRRGGGHHH!!

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-13-02
'Tis a grand evening. 'Tis a grand evening, indeed.
You got laid didn't you?
Yup.

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-16-02
Then the squirrel speaks.
It says;
Mirrors are more fun than television.
Somehow I know this to be true.

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-16-02
Then the squirrel speaks.
It says;
It was a waffle cloud that killed the dodo.
Somehow I know this to be true.

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-16-02
Then the squirrel speaks.
It says;
Vaccum cleaners smoke a lot of hash.
Somehow I know this to be true.

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-18-02
And then the squirrel speaks.
It says;
The banana is our pride. It is our power.
Somehow I know this to be true.

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-20-02
What's your name?
Rick Steiner.
I'm going to anal probe you.
Oooo! I love it!
That was good. Let's do it again.

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-20-02
After being arrested for raping a small Afghani boy, Rick Steiner finds himself in prison.
I am going to rape you in the butt.
Sounds good. Because I am Rick Steiner and I like to be raped in the butt.
That was very good. I am Rick Steiner, and I enjoy things in my butt. Especially other mens' penises.

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-20-02
Chat rooms are full of idiots.
OMG! i luv nsync!!!!!!!!!! they r sooooooo hot!!!!
OMG!!! whoevr luvs nsync press 44 now!!!!!!!!
You're a fucking idiot. Go put a plastic bag over your head. You're wasting my air.

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-24-02
...
!
HACKER!

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-24-02
Oh my God! The army of clowns are coming to get you, Teresa!

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-25-02
And now, deep thinking with Jesse Ventura.
The best advice I ever got, was to take my testicles out of the toaster.
That's the best advice I ever got.

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-25-02
Yeah, so I said that her ass was a little big, and she slapped me.
So I go home, and call her an hour later, and she tells me it's over.
I wish I could afford a psychologist. This squirrel just isn't cutting it.

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-27-02
ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US!!
AHHHHHHHH!!

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-27-02
I'm kinda hungry.

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-27-02
Man, I hate the holiday season. Everyone seems to have forgotten what Christmas is all about.
It's all about some guy giving them presents every year. Nobody remembers me.
*snicker*
Fuck you.

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-27-02
Porn is so cool.
I wish I could move my arms, so I could jerk myself off.
*sigh*

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-27-02
Wow, gay robots really do go to Hell.
Hey there. Welcome to Hell! You should go around and meet some of the people here.
Hell-o! What's your name, sweetie?
My name is Pete. Don't ask how I got down here. And stop looking at my crotch.
Brad Pitt, how did your hot ass get down here?
You mean these clothes don't say enough?

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-27-02
You blinked. That's 1,345,642,467 games for me, and none for you. I'm kicking your ass, Satan.
I still have your soul.
Fuck you.

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-27-02
It's you again. What the fuck do you want?
I want to buy you a drink, you sweet little thing.
This is Hell, not a bar! And even if it were, I wouldn't let you buy me shit. So go fuck yourself.
Whatever gets you off, baby.

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-27-02
So... This is Heaven?
Yup.
Not much to do, is there?
Nope.

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-28-02
I got an XBox today.
You're going to go to Hell.
What the hell are you talking about? I'm a Christian. I'm going to Heaven.
But God hates Microsoft, so you're going to burn, you traitor.
What the fuck? How the hell did I get down here?
Didn't your buddy tell you? God hates Microsoft. Now I've arranged for you to be blasted in the ass for eternity by Bill Gates. Because you are his bitch.

 

by Slap_Nuts
4-28-02
Bill Gates?! Wow! Hey.. Wait a second. I didn't know you were a boozer.
Whathe fuck yuo expect? How you else think I got the idea for XBocks?
Uhm.. I thought it game from your brain. You are a genius, after all.
Lemme tell you something kid... Smarts ain't nothin' without a lil' booze here n' there.. Or something like that...
So.. Why don't you have any pants?
Didn't Satan tell you? I'm gonna pound you in the ass for eternity, 'cuz you're my bitch and all that jazz.

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