Speez  

Who are you? Why are you here?

I am the angel sent to all people around Christmas who want to kill themselves. I am here to change your mind.

Uhh, why are you wearing a towel.

Hey, heaven is ontop of clouds. Clouds are made of water. You are always wet up there, so we all just wear towels.

And how do you know that Jesus taste sweet?

We all went to a bar, got drunk, and began to play "Lick the Holy one".